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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Socket To Him

    , | IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I take calls from customers about billing and any cable troubleshooting.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Your cable has blown up my TV! All I have is a black screen. The TV won’t even turn on. Your equipment is cheap, and you’re a bad cable company!”

    Me: “Sir, let me see if I can help you.”

    Customer: “I don’t think so; you are all stupid!”

    Me: “I don’t see any outage reported in your area. Can you tell if your cable box has any lights on it?”

    Customer: “Yes, it has a red and yellow one. But you have blown up my f****** TV! You’ll have to pay for it.”

    Me: “Sir, can I have you pick up the remote and push the TV button, and then the power button?”

    (Note: If the TV is just turned off, this will turn it on.)

    Customer: “Nothing, I still have a black screen. This is a new TV. I spent good money on it!”

    Me: “I understand, sir. Let’s start with simple things and work our way up so maybe we won’t have to send a tech out.”

    Customer: “You’ll have to pay for my TV; that’s what you’ll do!”

    Me: “Are there any kind of lights or buttons lit up on your TV?”

    Customer: “No, you blew it up.”

    Me: “Can I have you just check to make sure it is still plugged in?”

    Customer: “I never unplugged it; of course it’s plugged in. But if it will make you happy…”

    (He sets the phone down and I hear him swearing in the background and the TV come on.)

    Customer: “Forget it. I’ll… fix it myself.” *click*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I get a call from a customer who is currently $50 overdrawn on her account.)

    Me: “Yes that is correct. Your account is overdrawn $50.”

    Caller: “What if I cashed one of my checks at the local currency exchange for $50, and came and deposited the cash to cover the overdraft?”

    Me: “Unfortunately you couldn’t do that, since that would bring your overdraft to $100.”

    Caller: “But the money will be coming from the currency exchange, not my bank account!”

    Me: “While the currency exchange is giving you the cash, that check will still be eventually drawn on your account here, thereby overdrawing you another $50.”

    Me: “But it’s NOT coming out of my account! It’ll be coming from the currency exchange, so I can cover my overdraft!”

    (Sadly, the conversation continues back and forth like this for several minutes until I simply tell her:)

    Me: “Whatever you do, DO NOT cash any more checks!”

    (This, she understands.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Requires More (Water) Proof

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (It’s raining out. I am watching the rain through the window and notice a guy on his cell phone. Then I see him shake his head and look at his phone. He looks up and sees my store and starts heading in.)

    Customer: “My phone just stopped working! I need my phone. I was on a business call and it just stopped working!”

    Me: “Maybe it got wet and has water damage. Let me—”

    Customer: “I have never gotten my phone wet! It does not have any water damage!”

    Me: “Sir, I just saw you talking on your phone in the pouring rain.”

    Customer: “So what?! Rain isn’t going to water damage a phone!”

    Me: “Sir, rain is water. If I may see your—”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! I guess I’ll have to go somewhere else to get service!”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 3

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am working near the registers, but I am not currently on register. Our return policy is printed on every receipt in clear, bold lettering.)

    Customer: “Hey, I wanna return this CD and get all my money back.”

    Me: “Sure thing, just let me call someone over and they can help you out.”

    (I call my manager over to do the return and I go back to work.)

    Customer: “They had better give me all my money back, or I’ll cause trouble.”

    Manager: “What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I wanna return this CD and get all my money back. Here is the receipt.”

    Manager: “Alright, everything looks okay; can I see the item you want to return?”

    (The customer hands over an unwrapped CD case.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but I can only give you a refund on unopened merchandise. If the disk wasn’t playing I can replace it for you though.”

    Customer: “No, you’re gonna give me all my money back, or I’m gonna file a lawsuit.”

    Manager: “Go ahead and file a lawsuit. I don’t care. The return policy is on the receipt, and clearly says items must be unopened in their original packaging in order to be returned for a refund.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t say that. Where does it say that?” *looks at his receipt* “D***.” *walks out*

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder, Part 2
    Refunder Blunder

    A Certain Number Of Attempts

    | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m helping a user with an issue, and it becomes obvious that I’ll need to connect over to her computer to see what’s actually going on. I start walking her through the procedure to allow me to do so.)

    Me: “Okay, you should see a nine-digit number at the top of your screen. It looks kind of like a phone number. I need you to tell me that number so I can connect over.”

    User: “I can’t see any numbers on my screen.”

    Me: “Do you see anything at the top of the screen, like a little tab? It’ll have the numbers in it.”

    User: “Yes.”

    (The user starts describing all the icons in the tab, with no mention of the numbers.)

    Me: “That’s the one. There should be a nine-digit number in there. Looks sort of like a phone number, with dashes every three digits.”

    User: “No.” *pause* “There’s a phone number there, though.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s the one. A nine-digit number. Looks kind of like a phone number.”

    User: “Oh.” *pause* “Yes, that’s it.”

    Me: “Could you read it to me, please?”

    *long pause*

    User: “Do you need me to tell you what it is?”

    Me: “Yes, please.”

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