Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Seeing Eye Dog

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

Putting The Scent Into Ascents

, | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(The x-ray operator sends me to search for an oversized liquid in a passenger’s carry on. She does the search required and finds an unopened bottle of 185 ml perfume.)

Coworker: “Unfortunately, ma’am, this liquid is over the size limit and cannot go past this point.”

Passenger: “That is not a liquid.”

Coworker: “What is it, then?”

Passenger: “It’s a scent.”

Outside Voice, Waiting Outside

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I have just transferred down the road to another shop in our coffee chain, after the one I used to work at cut down on its employees. It is very busy. A man walks up to the drink counter, takes a drink, and walks away. All of a sudden, a customer who had been sitting at a table runs up towards one of my coworkers and starts yelling.)

Customer: “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting and you f****** haven’t made my drink! This is f****** horrible service! I have a f****** meeting in a few minutes, and I need my f****** coffee!”

Coworker: “Sorry, but the order list says that we did make your drink. Are you sure it’s not up there?” *gestures to the table full of drinks*

Customer: “OF COURSE I’M SURE! I think that you’re f****** ignoring me! That or you drank my drink. B****, make me another drink or I’ll sue! This is s***** customer service. You should be f****** fired!”

(At this point my coworker is at the verge of tears. She is new, and just old enough to get a job.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but didn’t you do this at the other [Coffee Shop] down the street? I distinctly remember you yelling at us for not making your drink while your boyfriend waited outside with the exact same drink in his hand.”

(Sure enough, when we looked out the window the same man was out there, holding the drink.)

Customer: *turns beet red, stammers something, and runs off*

More Money, More Problems

| New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Money

(I work for a cinema that has a gaming area attached to it. All the games run on coins only, and there are signs up everywhere stating this. I am the person working in the Games Zone today, and am currently patrolling around the area for game faults or shady characters. A woman with two children approach me.)

Patron: “Excuse me, miss?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Patron: “Your game is broken. I am very upset. My children really wanted to play on this but it won’t accept our money! It just ate the money and gave us no game!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Sometimes the games do eat the coins. I’ll just fetch some tokens and come over to see if I can get it working.”

Patron: “Well, hurry up! We have a movie starting soon but they really want to play this game first! We don’t have all afternoon!”

(I return to my booth to collect a couple of tokens to put in the machine, to see if I can get the game running. When I return to the game the woman has already seated her children in the seats, in a way that I cannot get to the coin slot.)

Me: “‘Scuse me kids. I just need you to move for a moment.”

Patron: “What are you doing? Kicking my kids off the game?!”

Me: “No. They are in the way of the coin slot, so I can’t put the tokens in. I just need them to shift for a moment.”

Patron: “Geez, just lean over! You’re tall, even I can do that!”

(She snatches my bag of tokens from my hand and gets a few out. She practically smothers her children as she leans over to reach the coin slot, violently jamming the token in. It is obviously not going to go in, as something clearly is blocking it.)

Me: “Ma’am, I just need you to stop trying to shove the token in. Something is blocking the way. I think the money you put in before might have jammed up inside. I just need your kids to move and I’ll see if I can clear it.”

(She scoffs at me and mutters about how stupid the game is, but makes her kids move. I lean down to inspect the coin slot and to my surprise, find a $5 note folded up and jammed in the slot. After a little bit of wriggling I manage to pull it out.)

Me: “Um, did you fold up a note and put it in here?”

Patron: “Yes, that’s mine!”

Me: “Well, that is the problem. The machines only take coins, not notes. The slot doesn’t accept bills of any sort.”

Patron: “Well that’s stupid! Anyway, I did put coins in. I put two $1 coins in, and they wouldn’t go all the way through, so I thought it must take notes instead!”

(I inspect the coin slot again, and after a little wriggling with a key, manage to spot two coins that she has pushed in TOGETHER at the same time, which became wedged. The note had wedged them further down the slot, so I cannot get them out.)

Me: “Well, I’m afraid the coins are well and truly stuck in there now. I cannot get them out and no other coins can get past. Your kids can’t play the game today.”

Patron: “What? Well that is f****** ridiculous! We paid money for this game, it’s still running. Just credit it a game or something by opening up the computer slot or something!”

Me: “I just give out change and put up ‘Out of Order’ signs… I don’t fix games.”

Patron: “Well, you’re useless down here then, aren’t you?!”

Threat Of A Roverdose

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Pets & Animals

(I work in a vet clinic. One of my coworkers answers a call from a customer we had a few days earlier.)

Customer: “Yes. I’m calling to complain about the service I received the other day.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Four days ago I came over because my dog had parasites. The veterinarian gave me a prescription that says: Give 15 cc once daily for three days. But I don’t know what cc are.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about the confusion. CC and milliliters are actually the same. If you look closely on the syringe we gave you, you can see that both cc and ml are written on it, next to the number.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve studied pharmacology and I’ve never heard of cc’s so you shouldn’t put it. Also. how am I supposed to give 15 cc to my dog if you only gave me a 5 ml syringe?”

Coworker: “As I’ve told you, the syringe is graduated in both cc and ml. We give smaller syringe because it makes the medication easier to give. To give 15 cc, you have to give three syringe of 5 cc.”

Customer: “But I only have one syringe, and I don’t know what cc are!”

Coworker: “So what have you been giving your dog for the past few days?”

Customer: “Well, since your prescription was so unclear, I’ve been giving him one full syringe per day.”

Coworker: “So… you didn’t understand the prescription we gave you, and instead of calling us right away for us to clarify everything you decided to just give him a random amount? And you say you’ve studied in pharmacology?!”

Customer: “Yes, because your instruction were unclear. You really have to tell your vets that their service is severely lacking!”

Coworker: “All right… I’ll give them the message.”

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