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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Pull The Plug On The Appointment

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a fireplace store. I take a call from a customer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, the fan on my stove isn’t working.”

    Me: “Oh, no. That’s not good!”

    Customer: “Yeah. So what’s wrong with it?”

    Me: “Well, hard to say over the phone. It could be a number of things. If you’d like I can set up a service appointment and have one of our techs check it out. Please be aware that we are booked out about two weeks.”

    Customer: “Seriously!? What the h***! I’m cold!”

    Me: “Well, you have to option to bring the fan into our shop; it’s cheaper and you can do that pretty much anytime.”

    Customer: “No, I’m not really comfortable working on this thing.”

    Me: “Is your stove working?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “So just your fan isn’t operating? ”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Does it make any noises or grinding sounds?”

    Customer: “It’s not doing anything at all. I just got this fan two years ago, I’ll be very unhappy with you if it’s broken already.”

    Me: “I hate to ask it, but just to make sure, have you checked to make sure that it’s plugged in?”

    (The customer completely goes off on me, calling me all kinds of names. I have permission from my boss to hang up on people who are rude to me without cause but at this point I’m not sure what to do. I let him finish his rant and just change the subject.)

    Me: “Do you want to schedule for [date two weeks from now]?”

    Customer: “I guess. How much is a service call?”

    Me: “$150.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous!”

    Me: “Sir, we’re the cheapest around here and we’re booked out because when you’re good, you’re busy.”

    Customer: “Fine. I’ll take it but this is ridiculous. You guys are con men, ripping off old people like me.”

    (We hang up and less than an hour later, I get another call from him.)

    Customer: “Hi. Um, not sure if I talked to you earlier, but um this is… and I, um, checked with my wife and it looks like she unplugged the fan to plug in the Christmas tree lights. So, uh, I’d like to cancel my appointment. Um, thank you.” *click*

    Not As Easy As ABC, 123

    | Crystal Lake, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

    Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

    Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

    Me: “Sure”

    (I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

    Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

    Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

    (I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

    Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

    Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

    Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”

    Not Even Remotely Close, Part 3

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a large cable company, and we leave our personal number after an install so customers can call us with questions. I get a call from a customer while on a lunch break.)

    Me: “Hello. This is [Name] with [Company].”

    Customer: “Yes! You installed my cable a few weeks ago, and something is going on! Your box is broken, and it broke my TV!”

    Me: “Okay… So, what exactly is happening?”

    Customer: “I push the power button on the remote, and nothing turns on!”

    (This is a common problem that’s easily fixed by simply pushing a different button on the remote.)

    Me: “Oh! All you have to do is push [cable] button and then hit your power button, and it should turn back on. You might have dropped your remote and un-programmed it. It’s an easy fix!”

    Customer: “I tried that. It’s not working!”

    (I am thinking I’ll have to drive out and help this customer push a different button on the remote, when suddenly, it hits me.)

    Me: “Ma’am… when you hit the buttons on your remote, do they light up at all?”

    Customer: “No! They don’t do anything! I push and push and nothing happens!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your remote just needs new batteries.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that? Don’t you just mail me a new one?”

    Me: “Sorry, no. Enjoy your day, and thanks for choosing [Company].”

    (Later, I found out she called my manager, and he had some poor soul run her out a new remote.)

    Not Even Remotely Close, Part 2
    Not Even Remotely Close

    Refunder Blunder, Part 5

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I’m the assistant manager of my store. I’m at work on a quiet day when I get the following call.)

    Caller: “Hello. I’ve got a problem here.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that. What’s the issue?”

    Caller: “A refund with you guys didn’t show up on my credit statement!”

    (It’s rare, but possible for an employee to make the mistake of charging the card a second time instead of refunding the money, so I check that right away.)

    Me: “Oh, dear… By any chance does the same charge from us come up twice? If so—”

    Caller: “No, no. There’s just no refund listed!”

    (Baffled, I get her to give me the date and number from her receipt so I can look up the transaction.)

    Me: “Oh, so, this is the sale transaction, not the refund. When did you come in to return the items?”

    Caller: “I didn’t.”

    Me: “You… Sorry, what?”

    Caller: “I didn’t return them.”

    Me: “So… you didn’t actually do a return with us, and now you’re wondering why there’s no refund on your credit statement?”

    Caller: “Well, it just sounds silly when you put it like that!”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 4
    Refunder Blunder, Part 3
    Refunder Blunder, Part 2
    Refunder Blunder

    A Driving Thought

    , | Palm Harbor, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]; can I take your order?”

    Customer: “I’ll have [order].”

    Me: “Okay, I have a [order]? Can I get you anything else?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me: “Thanks. Your total will be [total].”

    (The customer drives up to the window.)

    Customer: *smugly* “You forgot to tell me to please drive through.*

    Me: “Sir, if I need to tell someone to drive through, then I’m not sure I want to deal with them when they eventually find the window.”

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