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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Will Have To Start Clover

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am a customer waiting to collect my coffee at a popular coffee shop.)

    Barista: *setting drink on counter* “I have a latte, for Laura!”

    (I reach for my drink, but before I can get to it a man picks it up. I let him, because I’ve been yelled at in the past for taking my drink when someone with the same name and same drink is also waiting for their order. He takes a sip, and spits it out.)

    Man: “This is disgusting! It tastes milky; why is this milky?”

    Barista: “It’s a latte.”

    Man: “No, it’s not. It’s a Clover. You said it was a Clover. I want this remade. And do it right!”

    Second Barista: “I have a Clover, for Mike.”

    Barista: “Is that one yours?”

    Me: *chiming in* “You took my latte.” *to the barista* “I’m sorry; would it be possible for me to have another one made?”

    Man: “Well, why the hell didn’t you tell me I was drinking the wrong thing?”

    Barista: *drops head onto counter*

    No Re-Write Access

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Hi and welcome to [Company] online sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name?”

    Customer: “The password on my broadband router is rubbing off and getting hard to read.”

    Me: “You can re-write the password.”

    Customer: “How do I re-write?”

    Me: *face palm* “…Get a piece of paper, write the password on it, and tape it to your broadband router?”

    Double The Trouble

    | TN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (As the store is quite busy on a Saturday night and there is only one cashier scheduled, I’ve taken over the customer service desk which has two registers. I am calling customers to both sides so I can help two people at once. I’ve just called the next two customers down, two of whom I have to ask to take a longer route to the secondary register on my right.)

    Customer #1: *at the left side of the desk* “Why are you letting people check out over there? Won’t everyone skip the line and go to the other side for a shorter line?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I called them from the long line. That’s the only line I’m calling from. They were kind enough to go around to the other side of the desk so I can help both of you at once. Since there’s such a long line tonight I’m doing what I can to keep the line moving.”

    Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem right.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about the inconvenience, but thank you for hanging in there with me while I try to get everyone taken care of. Your total is [total]. If you’ll please swipe your card at the pin-pad I’ll get these people started on the other register.”

    Customer #2: *on the right side of the desk* “Since you’re doing the work of two people do you get paid twice as much?”

    O, Canaduh, Part 4

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Geography

    (It is a warm day in late June. The customer I am serving has a pronounced American accent.)

    Me: “I couldn’t help noticing your accent. Where are you from?”

    Customer: “Des Moines. It’s my first time in Canada.”

    Me: “What do you think so far?”

    Customer: “Well, I was a little shocked when we were flying in, actually.”

    Me: “About what?”

    Customer: “I was pretty surprised not to see snow.”

    Me: “I think that Iowa and Ontario have a pretty similar climate. Is there snow on the ground there right now?”

    Customer: “No, but this is CANADA.”

    Related:
    O, Canaduh, Part 3
    O, Canaduh, Part 2
    O, Canaduh

    A Window To My Problems

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am a volunteer at a small charity thrift store. As there is a line at the cash, I am helping customers who want to see certain items while my coworker rings other people through.)

    Customer: “Can I see that girl’s dress in the window?”

    Me: “Sure! But just so you know, any items displayed in the windows can’t be sold until next week.”

    Customer: “That’s fine; I just want to see what size it is.”

    (I go to the window and start to retrieve the only girl’s dress there.)

    Customer: “No, that’s the wrong one! I said I want the baby dress in the window!”

    (There are two baby dresses in the window.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Which one would you like to see? There are two baby dresses.”

    Customer: “The one in the window!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but which of the two in the window would you like to see?”

    Customer: *agitated* “The one in the window!”

    (I take one of the dresses at random.)

    Me: “Was it this one?”

    Customer: “No, the other one!”

    Me: “The dress you wanted to see is sized for 24 months.”

    Customer: “Great! I’ll buy it!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but items in the window can’t be sold until next week.”

    Customer: “Well, how could I know that? You said earlier that things in the window aren’t until next week but how could I know I couldn’t buy the dress?!”

    (At this point my coworker saw me getting frustrated and took over, pretending to sympathize with her to get her out the door. Later, that same coworker informed me that she recognized the woman as a problem customer from her days working at the local grocery store but couldn’t find a way to warn me in time!)

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