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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Going To Get Charged With Nine Months

    | CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in this small grocery store and we don’t get many customers until one day…)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, could you help me with my stuff.”

    (The lady has a large stomach.)

    Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

    (I help her, but she slips a bit and I see a watermelon sticking out a bit from her shirt.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to remove the watermelon from your shirt.”

    Customer: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DISRESPECTFUL B****?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PREGNANT?!”

    Me: “I can see it slipping from your shirt…”

    (At this point the customer started running away, but fell over herself. The watermelon splattered everywhere and she kept screaming MY BABY! MY POOR BABY! but realized it was useless and she was caught. That really made my day.)

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    Bow To Their Crazy Demands

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I am going about my business as a shop assistant at a mid-range high street retailer when a large family comes in looking for a party dress for a little girl. The dress they pick has a ribbon around the waist to give it the correct fit, tied with a bow at the back, which has to be untied to get it on the child.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; do you have any more of these?”

    Me: “Did you need a different size or would you like to see the other colours in the range?”

    Customer: “Oh no, I want more of this one in the same size. The ribbon is not tied correctly on this one.”

    (I stared blankly in disbelief but my manager was watching.)

    Me: “I’ll run down to the stockroom and find out.”

    (I took the dress she had and re-tie the ribbon, but also brought two other dresses.)

    Customer: “Ooh, this one looks like it’s tied far better.”

    (She took one of the other dresses and UNTIED THE RIBBON to put it on her child.)

    Finally Getting With The Program

    , | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a call center for a telephone company in their DSL technical support department. Apparently my “phone voice” is very close to the Interactive Voice Response (IVR) system’s. At least once a week, I get a call like this:)

    Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?

    Caller: Are you human?

    (At this point, I can usually hear some frustration in the customer’s voice, so I say something that they’re not expecting to break the ice.)

    Me: “No, sir/ma’am. I am just a better programmed computer…”

    Got A Bad Deal(ership)

    | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Dealership]. This is [My Name]. How may I direct your call?”

    Woman: “I just got off the phone with the bank and there is nothing wrong with my card. You need to try running it again!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, who was your salesmen?”

    Woman: “What salesmen? I don’t know! Just try running my card again!”

    Me: “Ma’am, who were you working with?”

    Woman: “I was taking to the two ladies at the front desk.”

    Me: “Okay, I’m going to transfer you to them because I’m in a different building and am unaware of the situation.”

    Woman: “I don’t want to talk to them! They were rude and I could barely understand them! Can’t you just take my order?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without knowing who your salesmen is or what your customer is, I don’t have a way of looking up your information.”

    Woman: “What is wrong with you?! I don’t have a salesmen! I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I just want to order my f****** pizza or is that too hard for you?!”

    Me: “…ma’am?”

    Woman: “I called the bank and there is nothing wrong with my card! So you need to take my order again!”

    Me: “…ma’am?”

    Woman: “I don’t see why you can’t just take my d*** order over the phone. This isn’t that hard!”

    Me: “…ma’am!”

    Woman: “What?!”

    Me: “This is a car dealership.”

    Woman: “…what? Well, why the h*** didn’t you say that when you answered the phone?!”

    Me: “You mean like when I said ‘thank you for calling [Dealership]’…?”

    Woman: *click*

    Not As Quick As Lightning

    | LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work at an AM radio station, and we have just suffered a lightning hit at the tower which knocked us off the air. Then the phone rings:)

    Listener: “Hey, I don’t hear anything on my radio!”

    Me: “Yeah, we got knocked off by lightning.”

    Listener: “Well, why don’t you make an announcement?”

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