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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    USB = Universally Stupid Backups

    | SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I have just solved a customer’s virus problem.)

    Me: “That should do it. I got it all before it was able to do any major damage. Do you keep good backups?”

    Customer: “Backups?”

    Me: “Yes, copies of your important files for when—and I do mean when, not if—something happens to your computer. For instance if this virus had not been kept in check.”

    Customer: “So I could have lost all my music and wedding photos, and pictures of my grandma who passed away?!”

    Me: “It’s possible, if you do not have copies somewhere else, yes.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! Can you show me how to back them up?!”

    (I spend another 30 minutes showing her how to backup to a USB thumb-drive I have with me, as she does not own one.)

    Me: “You will need to get your own USB drive. You should be able to get one of adequate size for around $10 to $20.”

    (Three months later, I am at the same customer’s house.)

    Me: “Sorry, but it looks like your hard drive has crashed.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?!”

    Me: “The part where all your information is stored has gone bad. Anything on it that was not backed up may very well be gone for good, unless you wanted to send it away for costly data recovery.”

    Customer: “Oh yeah… I remember you telling me to backup the last time you were here so I went and got one of those things… let me get it.”

    (She leaves the room. I hear some rummaging and she soon returns holding the UNOPENED USB drive.)

    Customer: “Sure am glad I got this!”

    Fattening Fallacies, Part 2

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “It’s so convenient that this place just opened. I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately, and ice cream is my weakness in the summertime.”

    Me: “Oh, I agree. Nothing beats something cold and sweet on a hot day.”

    Customer: “I still can’t believe that this stuff is calorie-free. It tastes too good to be true!”

    Me: “Um, sir? You are aware that frozen yogurt still has calories, right? It is healthier than ice cream but there are still calories.”

    Customer: “What? But what about the bacteria? I was told yogurt has them. They eat all the calories out of it before we can!”

    Related:
    Fattening Fallacies

    The Thickest Part Of The Line

    | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I overhear some convention attendees when walking by a line.)

    Attendee #1: “Hey, look, a line for something.”

    Attendee #2: “What’s it for?”

    Attendee #1: “I dunno. Let’s get in line!”

    A Bad Frame Of Mind

    | IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a frame shop for a large craft store chain. I take a phone call.)

    Caller: “Yes, do you have black frames?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “How much are they?”

    Me: “Well, it depends on the size, style, etc.”

    Caller: “Okay, can you tell me what each of them costs?”

    Me: “Ma’am, there are at least 75 different black frames; you really are going to have to come in and look for yourself.”

    Caller: “Well, I’m not going to come in unless I have some idea how much they cost.”

    Me: “Anywhere between $1 and $70.”

    (The caller hangs up. Later that same day, the caller comes in. I recognize her voice.)

    Caller: “Excuse me; can you tell me where your frames are?”

    Me: “This whole section over here.”

    Customer: “I see you have this frame in a 16 x 20, but I need it in a 20 x 16.”

    (I take the frame from her and turn it on its side.)

    Customer: *huffs* “Well, they should put on the package that you can turn it either way!” *storms off*

    Coworker: “Dude, seriously?”

    He Got BUS-ted

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Top, Transportation

    (I’m at the busiest train station in the state, waiting to get out of the station to grab some lunch whilst I wait for my train. I get stuck behind a man whose train ticket will not allow him to exit through the ticket gates.)

    Passenger: “Excuse me, my ticket isn’t working!”

    Employee: “Oh, can I see your ticket, please?”

    Passenger: “I bought this from a news agency. It’s supposed to work on all trains!”

    (The passenger hands the employee a pre-paid bus ticket.)

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but this ticket won’t work here. This is not a train ticket.”

    Passenger: “But I bought it from a newsagent! It has to work!”

    Employee: “I don’t know what else to tell you, mate. This ticket will not work on this service, and you have wasted your money. I can let you through the gate, though, if you’ll just step back to let the gate open.”

    Passenger: “This is RIDICULOUS! This ticket is supposed to work! I used my hard-earned money on it! I spent Australian currency on this! Why isn’t it working?!”

    (There is now a very long line of irate people waiting for the man to just go through the now open gate. The employee is dumbfounded as to why the man won’t just leave. I lose my temper because I’m hungry and my train is to leave shortly, so I step in.)

    Me: “Dude. You bought the wrong ticket. That ticket is a bus ticket. Operative word: BUS. This is a train station.”

    Passenger: “I don’t care! I bought it and therefore it should work!”

    Me: “Yeah, it will work on a bus, but that brings us back to the original predicament: this is a train station, so your ticket will not work, no matter how much you harass people about it.”

    Passenger: “Nobody asked you, you little b****.”

    Me: “No, you’re right; nobody asked me. But I’m f****** hungry, and you are holding up a few dozen people. So please shut up, accept the fact that you screwed up, and get out of the way.”

    Passenger: “You’ve got a mouth on you, don’t you?”

    Me: “I do, and I’d like to fill it with food, so please get the f*** out of my way.”

    (The passenger storms off, and I ask the employee if she can keep the gate open for me as I don’t want my ticket to get rejected on the way back through. She lets me through, and I go to get some food and come back. As I come back to the gate, there is a security guard and another employee standing with the first employee. The security guard approaches me with a notepad.)

    Security Guard: “Excuse me, miss: I just have a question for you. Are you in any way affiliated with [rail company] as a contractor or employee?”

    Me: “No, I’m just trying to get to Woolongong to see a few friends.”

    Security Guard: *closes notepad and smiles* “Thanks for that. That guy you told off? He tried to file an official complaint against you. He wouldn’t believe [Employee] when she said you don’t work here.”

    Employee: “And thanks for that, by the way. Enjoy your trip to the coast!”

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