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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Liquidation Of Our Education

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a cashier at a well-known home improvement store. I’m working the closing shift in our garden register during summer, and am the only register open. We have a wide range of displays of water fountains up for customers to see them working, to decide if they want to buy one for their yard. A customer walks in and stands in front of fountains for several minutes looking at them before coming over to me.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m trying to get a fountain for my yard, and I had a quick question. Do you know much about them?”

    Me: “Well, I’ve only been trained as a cashier but I’ll answer what I can.”

    Customer: “Great! I just wanted to know, is the water included?”

    (I can’t believe the customer is asking this question, so I joke with him.)

    Me: “No, sir. You buy the water separate.”

    Customer: “Oh, how much is it?”

    Me: “Do you have a sink at home?”

    Customer: “Yes. Why?”

    Me: “Then the water is free.”

    (The customer looks confused until he suddenly realizes what he’s asked.)

    Customer: “Oh!”

    Their Mind Is Long Overdue

    | Maine, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Library. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hello, this is the library. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Is this [bank]?”

    Me: “No, this is [library].”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “This is [library]. I believe you have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “You have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “What number is this?”

    Me: “It’s [number].”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “It’s [number].”

    Caller: “I know. That’s the number I dialed.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but you either have the wrong number or dialed the wrong number. This is [library] not [bank].”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “This is [library] not [bank]. You have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “So then, what’s the right number?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I have no idea what [bank]’s number is.”

    Caller: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, I don’t work at nor do business with that particular bank. I have no reason to need the number.”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “You have the wrong number and I don’t know what the right number is.”

    (I hang up, but the phone immediately rings again. I’m pretty sure it’s the same person, so I let it go to voicemail. A few minutes later I check my messages, and, sure enough, there’s a message from the person I had just spoken with.)

    Caller: “This is [name] and I’m having issues with my checking account. I called earlier, but the person who answered didn’t know what they were talking about!”

    Contraception Misperceptions

    | Oslo, Norway | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I am a pharmacist working at 24-hour pharmacy. This takes place on a late Sunday evening.)

    Female Caller: “Hello, um… I… um… you know the morning after pill?”

    Me: “Yes, certainly. What would you like to know about it?”

    Female Caller: “Is there an anti-morning after pill?”

    Me: “Sorry? An anti-morning after pill?”

    Female Caller: “Yes. You see, this guy, he came around today, and he brought some flowers and everything, so now I’m kind of regretting taking that pill. So is there an anti-morning after pill I could take?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, there isn’t such a thing.”

    Female Caller: “Oh, that is a shame. Do you think they will make one?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I really don’t think they will.”

    Female Caller: “Really? Oh, that is a bummer.” *hangs up*

    Don’t Count Out The Cost Of Education

    | Gainesville, Florida, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I’m the specialist for the children’s books. A customer comes up and asks me to take her to a popular kids’ series, so I do.)

    Customer: “Now, my granddaughter has numbers 1 and 2.”

    Me: “Great. We have the rest of the series if you’d like to pick up a few more.”

    Customer: “But what should I get?” *spreads her hands helplessly* ”She has 1 and 2 already, what should I get next?”

    Me: “You could get 3.”

    (The customer stands there blankly while I point to the book. She doesn’t move or react until I physically pick it up and put it in her hand.)

    Customer: “And then… should I go down to 4?”

    All Set For Higher Standards

    | Southfield, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, School

    (I work at a test proctoring facility. A student has just finished taking his placement exams.)

    Me: “Alright, you placed into University Physics and Calculus 1.”

    Student: “Okay.”

    Me: “Do you have any last questions?”

    Student: “Who do I talk to about registration?”

    Me: “Go upstairs to Admissions. They should be able to help you.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    Me: “…Anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “Okay… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    (I try to subtly signal the student to move on by shuffling my papers.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “So… your scores have been entered into the database. So… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Oh, I’m all set?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Student: “Oh, okay!” *leaves*


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