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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Has No Propensity For History

    | Gettysburg, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m working behind the register counter that has glass display cases of knives, wallets, etc. Some are engraved with CSA—Confederate States of America, and USA—for the Union.)

    Customer: *running up to the counter* “Oooh! Knives! Wait, what does ‘CSA’ mean?”

    Me: “It stands for ‘Confederate States of America.’ Did you want to have a look?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to buy. But, the Confederate states are the North, right?!”

    Me: “No, not at all… ”

    Customer: “Oh, oh well. But you know what’s strange? All these battles happened in national parks!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “I guess that just made it easier to hide behind the monuments!”

    Me: “I have to get back to work; have a nice day.”

    (I get back to folding and stocking while the customer walks out with the smuggest look on their face, like they just gave me a history lesson.)

    How To Train Your Customer

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A shipment of bearded dragons has just arrived at the store, and I’m placing them into the designated habitat when a customer walks up.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

    Me: “They’re baby bearded dragons.”

    Customer: “Are those considered lizards or dragons?”

    Me: “Uhh… they’re lizards, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *walks off disappointed*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]; how may I help today?”

    Caller: “YOU PEOPLE SHUT MY CARD OFF!”

    Me: “I can see that would be extremely frustrating. Can I have your account information so we can correct this?”

    (The caller gives me the information, and I see she hasn’t made a payment in four months.)

    Caller: “Turn it back on right now!”

    Me: “I would be happy to once you make a payment to get your account up to date.”

    Caller: “I have to pay?!”

    Me: “Well you haven’t made any payments in four months; may I ask why? Is there something that been preventing you from paying?”

    Caller: “Yeah, something really important.”

    Me: “May I ask what it was?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I was saving up for my vacation to Cancun. That is why I need the card back on. RIGHT NOW!”

    Me: “Just so I have this straight: you didn’t pay your credit card because you wanted to save up for your vacation, and now you want us to let you use your card.”

    Caller: “Yeah, what’s so hard about that?”

    Me: “Sorry, we wont be able to do that for you without having a payment.”

    Caller: “What! I am so canceling my card when I get home!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    The New Boeing Tardis

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I have to catch a flight leaving at about 6 am. I show up at the self-check-in counters at 5 am, only to discover that my ticket won’t register.)

    Airline Rep: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

    Me: “Uh, I think so. I’ve swiped my passport, punched in my ticket number, put in my name, and it’s not registering.”

    (The airline rep takes my information and tries it herself; the machine still doesn’t register. She looks at my itinerary.)

    Airline Rep: “Well, ma’am, I think your main problem is that your flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow.”

    Suffering Some Confucian About Where He Is

    | Beijing, China | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (My coworker is a tour guide for American groups in Beijing.)

    Tourist: “Is there a Chinatown here?”

    Coworker: “…I’m sorry?”

    Tourist: “Well, most major cities have a Chinatown. I just wanted to see if I could visit the one in this city.”

    Coworker: “You do know what country you’re in right?”

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