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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Noisy Complaints Are All-Enveloping

    | Provo, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am in a rather lengthy line at the post office to buy a bunch of stamps for work; it is early afternoon. An elderly customer behind me is complaining loudly to no one in particular about the wait.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe they’re making us wait like this. It’s the middle of the day; the line shouldn’t be like this! I have places to be!”

    (I glance back at her, but don’t really pay much attention.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! They could just open up more lines and get us all through here quickly, but they just make us all wait in line.”

    (When I get to the front of the line, the customer makes a big show of loudly counting all of the closed cashier stands and complaining. I ask the clerk for my stamps, and he goes to the back to get them, as I need more than he has at his station.)

    Customer: “Oh, now one of them is leaving? I can’t believe this!”

    (The customer suddenly walks up to the counter to stand next to me. When the clerk comes back, she speaks up.)

    Customer: “I need to buy these things, now.”

    Me: “Excuse me? He’s still helping me.”

    Customer: “Well, I just need to buy a few things.”

    Me: “So do I. It’ll just be a moment.”

    Customer: “You’re buying a ton of stamps! I just need these envelopes.”

    (I finally pay enough attention to realize what she’s holding: several flat rate envelopes.)

    Me: “Ma’am, those are free.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You can take those for free. You just have to pay the postage when you bring them back in.”

    (The customer looks at the clerk, who nods.)

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?! Someone should have told me sooner!”

    Me: “It’s written all over the stand you grabbed them from.”

    (The customer looks back at the stand, and sees that I’m right. She then leaves in a huff, complaining about the post office wasting her time.)

    Not So Rewarding

    | Calgary, AB, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    Me: “And do you have your rewards card with you today?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, it’s in here somewhere…”

    (The customer proceeds to open and search through their purse while I wait.)

    Me: “I can take your phone number, if that’s more convenient.”

    Customer: “No, no! I can find it; it won’t take a moment.”

    (The customer keeps looking as the line grows longer.)

    Me: “I’d be perfectly happy with a phone number.”

    Customer: “You young people are so impatient these days!”

    (My line has now grown by at least five customers, who are starting to look restless. The customer is searching her wallet.)

    Me: “You’d be able to leave much quicker if you’d—”

    Customer: “Oh, for goodness sake! Do you really think I’ll just give your my phone number that easily? That’s personal information! How do I know you won’t call me later trying to sell me something I don’t need?”

    (I am speechless.)

    Customer: “Oh… you know what? I think my husband has the card; he was going to use it tomorrow. My phone number is [number]!”

    This Is Soda-Pressing

    | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m taking an order for delivery on the phone.)

    Caller: “What kind of soda do you have?”

    Me: “Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

    Caller: “Hmm… I’d like a Mountain Dew!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have that. We only have Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

    Caller: “Well, how about a Sprite then!”

    Me: “We don’t have that either, only Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

    Caller: “Oh, Coke then!”

    (The customer then shouts into the background.)

    Caller: “Honey, do you want a soda? They have orange!”

    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 5

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (I work at a theme park. I have to greet guests, and provide them with 3D glasses as they queue for the ride.)

    Guest: “Excuse me, what do I do with these?”

    Me: “You put them on when you enter the ride.”

    Guest: “Put them on where?”

    Me: “…on your face.”

    Guest: “Oh! I thought maybe they went on my arm!”

    Related:
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 4
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 3
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2
    Get A Life
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity

    Not Very Good At Checking His Account

    | MT, USAUSA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work for a bank call center.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank]. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yea, I tried to f****** withdraw my paycheck out of the ATM, and it won’t let me! You people are crooks! Get me my d*** money!”

    (I look into his account and see that the customer has both a checking and a savings. I look at the history of the card, and notice that the savings has about $5, and the checking has about $300. In the card history, I see that he’s been trying to withdraw using the savings account.)

    Me: “Sir, I noticed that you have two accounts linked to your debit card. It looks like the savings account was selected at the ATM as the account to withdraw from; are you near an ATM?”

    Customer: “Did you f****** fix it yet?! You d*** thieves!”

    Me: “Sir, I understand your frustration. If you’re near an ATM, I would be happy to hold on while you try it again. This time, when it asks what account to withdraw from, you need to choose checking rather then savings.”

    Customer: “It can’t be that easy! I’m not that stupid!”

    Me: “I didn’t say you were stupid; I’m only trying to help. Now please humor me, and try it again if you can.”

    (I can hear the customer cursing under his breath about me. I can see on my screen that he makes the withdrawal out of the checking account this time. He then comes back onto the line.)

    Customer: “Oh, I guess it was that easy. You people should make it more clearer next time!”

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