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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Now Hold Up A Minute

    | Vernon, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    Me: “Hi, Mike speaking.”

    Caller: “Hellooo?!”

    Me: “Hi, Mike speaking.”

    Caller: “Oh, thank goodness. Please tell your other associate he was incredibly rude and he needs better listening skills.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but who were you speaking with?”

    Caller: “I’m not even sure. I was talking with some lady and she put me on hold. Then next thing I know, some guy picked up and wouldn’t stop talking about the mayor.”

    Me: “…The mayor?”

    Caller: “Yes. I kept telling him that I wasn’t interested and yet he kept talking about the bloody mayor. Then after that he just kept telling about the weather. He was very frustrating.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that was our hold music. You were just listening to the news on the radio station that we use.”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Needs To Find A New Post

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Language & Words

    Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [brand] aftershave lotion, but you don’t seem to have any!”

    Me: “Did you look in the [brand] section? I think they do a few different ones actually. I’ll show you now.”

    (I walk him to the section and show him a few.)

    Me: “So, you’ve got this one, for sensitive skin, and this one is—”

    Customer: “This isn’t AFTER shave! It says right here: ‘POST Shave Balm!”

    Me: “Erm, actually ‘post’ means ‘after.’”

    Customer: “…What do they pay you here?”

    Me: “Around [salary] per hour.”

    Customer: “Well, you deserve every penny of it! You’re a smart girl!” *mutters as he walks off* “Who knew that ‘post’ meant ‘after’…”

    A Sunny Disposition Vs. Unyielding Opposition

    | BC, Canada | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company], Mindy speaking. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Well, MINDY, why the f*** isn’t my TV working?”

    Me: “I have no idea. Let’s get a look at you account and see. Account number or phone number, please?”

    Caller: *gives info* “Took long enough to get through. I waited here for over and hour!”

    Me: “Thanks for the account info. Sorry about the long waits; we had some challenges earlier with certain equipment. Can you tell me what is happening on the screen of your TV when your PVR is on?”

    Caller: “Wait, are you qualified for this?”

    Me: “Yes, I am absolutely trained and ready to help out with your issue. It is actually a pretty easy fix, likely.”

    Caller: “Are you sure you don’t need to transfer me to Tech?”

    Me: “No, I am Tech.”

    Caller: “A chick tech? Well, okay, but I hate wasting my time with people like you. It’s frozen… some grey and blue boxes.”

    Me: “Thanks for the info. It is an easy fix like I suspected. Can you please disconnect the power cord from the PVR for about 15 seconds, and then plug it back in?”

    Caller: “I’ve already done that a couple times, you know, because I’m not an idiot!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Well, let’s try it again. Let me know when it is unplugged and I’ll check some things on my end while it is unplugged.”

    Caller: “Seriously?” *sighs* “Okay. It’s unplugged.”

    (I check his connection, and notice he’s still online.)

    Me: “Oh, that’s weird. It seems like it is still online on my end. Are all of the lights off of the front of the box?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Oh, then it seems like you probably accidentally pulled the HDMI cord, not the power. Pull the power at the very right hand edge.”

    (At this, I see the box go off.)

    Me: “Awesome, thanks! Plug it back in now and let me know when the time shows.”

    Caller: “Okay, the time is showing.”

    Me: “Great! Let’s power it back on and see if everything is working. It all looks good on my end.”

    Caller: “Yeah, it seems to be working.”

    Me: “Awesome! Anything else I can help with tonight?”

    Caller: “God, I f***ing hate when you you people say that! There are lots of things in my life I need help with, you stupid b****!”

    Me: “Are any of those things issues with your Cable or Internet service?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Then I guess I’ve done my job! Thanks!” *click*

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

    Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

    (She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

    Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

    | Glendale, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

    Me: “That will be $19.86.”

    Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

    Me: “No, everything is there.”

    (I then show him the screen so he can see.)

    Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

    Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

    Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

    (The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

    Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

    Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

    (By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

    Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

    Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

    (The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

    Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

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