Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (1,945 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    It’s Always Best To Check

    | Central Valley, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I have spoken to this caller about two weeks ago. She calls again and I pull up her account.)

    Caller: “I called a couple of weeks ago and was told to expect a check for $1000.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s correct, I remember authorizing the check myself, let me review the file. I spoke to you on the 9th, and the check went out on the 10th.”

    Caller: “Today is the 22nd, and I haven’t received it yet.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, let’s double-check your address. We send the check to [address].”

    Caller: “Yes, that is correct.”

    Me: “Okay, let’s make sure that we have everything spelled correctly.”

    (We double-check that her name and address are spelled correctly.)

    Me: “Ma’am, have you been having any difficulties with receiving your mail? Have you gotten the mail from anybody else?”

    Caller: “I don’t know, I haven’t checked the mail all week!”

    Me: “Then maybe you should check your mail?”

    Caller: “As in right now?”

    Me: “Yes, I can hold while you check.”

    Caller: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

    (Caller puts the phone down, and she comes back on the line in about a minute.)

    Caller: “I got the check!”

    Inching Away From Intelligence, Part 2

    | Onley, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in the electronics department of a large retail store. I receive a phone call one morning.)

    Me: “Hello? Electronics department, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Well, I’m on your website looking at your [brand name] TVs. You got two on here I like, a 26 inch and a 32 inch. What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, sir. It depends. Are they Plasma, LCD, LED?”

    Customer: *cutting me off* “No, no, no! I don’t care about any of that. I just wanna know which one’s bigger!”

    Related:
    Inching Away From Intelligence

    No Wait To Her Argument

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Time

    (I’m running slightly late to meet a patient. I arrive about five minutes after the appointment time to find no one there. I wait around, wondering if she was perhaps caught up in traffic. After half an hour goes by, I call her.)

    Patient: *rudely* “Hello!?”

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] of [clinic name]. We had a 4 pm appointment today, but I didn’t see you.”

    Patient: “Oh, I was waiting forever, and you never showed!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry I missed you. How long were you waiting?”

    Patient: “45 minutes.”

    Me: “Huh? But it’s 4:30 now and there’s no one here.”

    Patient: “Yeah, I know! I left at 4pm!”

    Me: “But, that’s when our appointment was.”

    Patient: “Right! I can’t believe you were so late!”

    Me: “Please correct me if I’m wrong, but [clinic] is by-appointment-only, which means I am not in the office unless there’s a patient. I’ve told you this, haven’t I?”

    Patient: “That’s right.”

    Me: “So you’re upset because I wasn’t here 45 minutes before I was actually supposed to be here?”

    Patient: “Yes!”

    (The weirdest thing is that I had actually treated her before, and she’d shown up fifteen minutes late without calling!)

    The Price For Room To Improve

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “What are your rooms at for Thursday night?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’ve sold out. Would you—”

    Caller: “Okay, but what are the prices?”

    Me: “Well, the prices are based on availability, so I can’t give an exact quote, but I can—”

    Caller: “What do you mean?! Why can’t you just give me the price?!”

    Me: “Well, based on other nights, it would be between $169 and $199, plus the local tax, but we are sold—”

    Caller: “No! You’re not hearing me! What’s the exact amount!?!”

    Me: “That would be $222.88, ma’am.”

    Caller: *in a very condescending tone* “There! That wasn’t so hard, was it!?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “So, how many of those do you have left?”

    Doe Is Dear

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet supply store that offers alternative foods for animals with allergies.)

    Customer: “What’s bee-son?”

    Me: “Bison. It’s an alternate protein source, similar to beef.”

    Customer: “But what is it?”

    Me: “It’s also called buffalo. It’ a lot like beef, just leaner.”

    Customer: “But what is it?”

    Me: “They’re kind of like, um, feral cows?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Moo?”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that? And veen-ay-son?”

    (She points to a bag labelled “venison.”)

    Me: “That’s deer.”

    Customer: *more blank staring*

    (I put my hands up on either side of my head like antlers.)

    Me: “Bambi?”

    Customer: “All these fancy names for things. It’s just so you can charge more for it, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s exactly how it works.”


    Page 104/166First...102103104105106...Last