Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,579 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    More Of A Dollar Half Full Kind Of Person

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “Okay, will that be all?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, thanks.”

    Me: “Do you have a [store] card?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I do!”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $9.43.”

    Customer #1: “Oh look, I even saved money!”

    Customer #2: “How much?”

    Me: “Umm, $0.60.”

    Customer #2: “Ooh, that’s almost half a dollar!”

    This Dollar Is Noncents

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (Every Monday, my video rental store has a special where you can rent any movie for $1.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me more about this dollar Monday thing?”

    Me: “Of course. Every Monday, all of the DVDs in store are just $1 to hire!”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means you can come in and rent any movie you want, new or old, for just $1!”

    Customer: “So, does that mean weekly movies?”

    Me: *smiling* “It sure does, everything is included!”

    Customer: “Well, what about 5 night hires? Are they included?”

    Me: *still smiling* “Yes, sir. All of the DVDs are included in this special.”

    Customer: “Okay, so what about 3 night hires?”

    Me: “They are. Everything is included in this deal—new releases and weekly movie rentals.”

    Customer: “Okay, good. And what about overnight hires? Are they $1 too?”

    Me: “Yep. As I said before, all movies are $1 to hire.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! Why does it have to be so confusing? You people need to make it less complicated so normal people can understand!” *storms out*

    Enough To Make Your Mascara Run

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a cosmetics counter at a department store. I notice a customer checking out the mascara display.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you find a mascara today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I don’t remember what type of mascara I use, but I need two in black and two in brown.”

    Me: “Okay, how about we take a look at the mascara displayed here? Do any of the names or tubes looks familiar?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t know what it looks like. I know what the package looks like. Can I just look at in the box?”

    Me: “Ma’am, all of the packaging is identical.”

    Customer: “I’ll know the package when I see it! I just need it in black and brown!”

    Me: “Alright, let me go check around in the drawer for you.”

    (After several minutes of searching in the drawer to figure out what type of mascara she is looking for, the customer approaches me, holding out two used tubes of mascara.)

    Customer: “I have the mascara that I use in my purse. Would that help you find it easier?”

    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 3

    | Roanoke, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology

    (I work at an IT help desk during college, helping both students and faculty. We have a call from a Computer Science professor; he is in the middle of teaching a classroom and wants a new mouse.)

    Me: *entering classroom* “You asked for a new mouse, right?”

    Professor: “It took you long enough! We’ve been waiting to start class for 15 minutes now!”

    Me: “Well, here you go.”

    (I put his mouse on the desk and start to walk out.)

    Professor: “Wait, aren’t you going to install it?”

    Me: “…It’s a USB mouse.”

    Professor: “So? I don’t know how to install these things!”

    Me: “It’s a plug-and-play mouse. Sir, you just—”

    Professor: “Just install the d*** mouse!”

    (At this point, I realize what I’m dealing with. I walk over, plug the mouse into the port labelled “USB” on the front of the tower, and walk out. The class erupts into laughter. The next day, he filed a complaint against the IT department for ‘Defamation and Public Humiliation’.)

    Related:
    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2
    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse

    Not Quite The PIN-nacle of Intelligence

    | South Paris, ME, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Credit or debit?”

    Customer: “Uhh… debit I, guess.”

    Me: “Okay, slide the card here and then enter your pin.”

    Customer: “But it’s my friend’s card. I don’t know the pin.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t allow you to use a card that doesn’t belong to you.”

    Customer: “Do credit. I don’t need the pin for that.”

    Me: “Yes, but for credit the cardholder has to sign.”

    Customer: “I can sign it.”

    Me: “Only the cardholder can sign.”

    Customer: “Then I’ll just sign her name.”

    Me: “I can’t allow you to do that either. That’s fraud. We could both get into trouble.”

    Customer: “There won’t be any trouble. She told me I could use her card.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you use a card that doesn’t belong to you. Can you pay for these things yourself and then ask your friend to pay you back?”

    Customer: “I don’t have any money. Besides, I can’t trust her to pay me back.”

    Me: “Then I can’t sell you these items. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t know each other, right?”

    Customer: “Um… nope. I don’t think so.”

    Me: “If I were to try to buy something from you with a credit card that you knew wasn’t mine, what would you say?”

    Customer: “I’d ask you for some kind of proof that you had permission…” *lightbulb goes on* “Oh!”

    (Although the customer seems to finally understand, but she continues to stand there.)

    Me: “Was there something else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “So, can I just sign her name?”


    Page 100/166First...9899100101102...Last