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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Needs To Do Some More Internet Exploring

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer calls in about not being able to access our website. While troubleshooting this exchange happens:)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, after you’re done clearing your browsing history can I get you to close out of your browser to refresh it.”

    Customer: “Now this won’t kick you out will it?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand your question.”

    Customer: “When I close off your website, will I lose my connection with you? Because I was on hold a really long time.”

    Me: “So… you’re asking that if you close out of the site on your computer it will hang our phone call?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can absolutely guarantee you closing your browser will not hang up your phone.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank goodness, because I really didn’t want to have to call back and be on hold again.”

    In The Wrong Holding Position

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Good evening. Thank you for calling [Company]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?

    Caller: “Oh, wrong number.” *hangs up*

    (To have gotten through to me the customer would have had to have waited on hold for 10 minutes, listening to repeated adverts FOR the company and also selected an option to speak with me. I still have no idea how she didn’t realise sooner.)

    Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

    | VA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (About half an hour before we close, we get a sudden rush of customers, leading to us being unable to lock the doors once it’s time to close. Five minutes after closing, we only have one family left in the store to finish serving when another man walks in.)

    Supervisor: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re closed.”

    Customer: *continues toward register*

    Supervisor: “Sir, we’re closing!”

    Customer: *stops to look at chips*

    Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we’re in the process of closing.”

    Customer: *walks to register*

    Supervisor: *now standing directly in front of customer* “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re not taking orders now. We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Um… I’ll take a large ham and turkey—”

    Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we closed five minutes ago. You’ll need to come back tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, you should have said something.” *walks out*

    (As soon as the previous customer’s food was ready and they were out, I ran at full sprint to the door and locked it.)

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

    H2-Slow, Part 6

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A lady comes in looking for a fish.)

    Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

    Lady: “Well, I want to get a fish for my daughters birthday.”

    Me: “Any type of fish in mind?”

    Lady: *points to the betta fish* “This one is very pretty, so this one.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have a tank for it?” *points to tank*

    Lady: “I don’t need a tank; I can just put him in a cup.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am. You cannot just put a fish in a cup. It needs to be in a tank.”

    Lady: “That’s silly; all it needs is water and a cup!”

    Me: “How about food? It needs more room than just a cup. Also, it needs a filter.”

    Lady: “Wait, doesn’t it eat the water?”

    (I told her all the stuff she needed for the fish. Instead she got a hamster because it was much easier to take care of. I made sure to give her guidebooks and told her to call us whenever she needed help with something.)

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 5
    H2Slow, Part 4
    H2Slow, Part 3

    Putting The Green Into The Machine

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (The customer orders her food and starts to drive off before the total was told.)

    Employee: “The total will be $10.27.”

    Customer: *muffled, because she’s pulled forward* “Did you received my $20.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry.”

    Customer: *still muffled* “Did you get my $20?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you please pull up to the first window and we’ll take care of it?”

    (The customer pulls up to the drive thru window.)

    Customer: “I was asking if you received my $20. I put it in the machine.”

    Employee: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, we don’t have a machine. We take cash at the window.”

    Customer: “Oh, I guess my money is outside, then.”

    (One of the employees was sent out to get the customer’s money from the drive thru speaker.)

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