November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Can’t Escape The Pull Of Stupidity

| GA, USA | Extra Stupid

(Our office has two sets of glass doors, both of which swing open like French doors. There are door handles on the outside leading in, and a push bar to get out. For some reason customers can not figure out how to get into the shop using the handle. I walk out of the office to bring some paper work down the hall to two more offices. While walking to the second office I see someone standing right in front of the office/shop doors. I make it back to the office doors, where the person is still standing.)

Customer: *who doesn’t realize I work there* “The doors are locked and the woman in there won’t get up to open the door.”

Me: “Well, she’s not getting up because the doors are not locked.”

Customer: “How do you know that’s why she won’t get up?”

Me: “Because I also work here, and I don’t get up when I know the door is unlocked.”

Customer: “If the door’s not locked, why won’t it open?”

Me: “Did you try pulling the door towards you to open it?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Go ahead and try that.”

(The customer pulls the door open.)

Customer: “…Oh.”

Closed Down Compassion

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a grocery store that was bought out by an out of state chain. After only three months, they decide to close almost half of the newly acquired stores. Everyone at my store is on edge and very emotional.)

Customer: “How dare you!”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How dare you close this store? It’s the only one downtown; I won’t be able to shop.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, everyone that works here is upset about the situation. We had nothing to do with the—”

Customer: *interrupting* “I don’t care. You can’t close the store. Where will I shop?”

(My coworker starts sobbing.)

Me: *stepping in* “Listen. The employees here had nothing to do with this. The store managers had nothing to do with this. WE. ARE. ALL. LOSING. OUR. JOBS! I’m sure you’ll recover from the great inconvenience of having to drive an extra mile and a half, but everyone here is facing unemployment. Please consider that, and have a nice day.”

Unplugged From Reality

| DE, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “My TV isn’t working.”

(After verifying the caller and running through some basic stuff:)

Me: “I’m sorry for the trouble. The cable box doesn’t seem to be responding. I will need you to unplug it.”

Caller: “How do I do that?”

Me: “Just pull the cord from the wall.”

Caller: *getting irritated* “SIR! I’M NOT AN ELECTRICIAN!”

Wish You Could Chicken Out

USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’ll have a chicken sandwich.”

Me: “What kind of chicken?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

Me: “What kind of chicken?”

Customer: “Chicken!”

Me: “We have multiple kinds – the chicken breast, the chicken bacon ranch, the sriracha chicken melt, the chicken teriyaki, the buffalo chicken, and the cordon bleu. What kind?”

Customer: “The kind you always give me.”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know what your regular is.”

Customer: “Chicken Teriyaki.”

Me: “Thank you. Provolone, pepperjack, white American cheese?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *looks for the nearest wall to bang his head into*

He’s Never Going To Ketchup

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We have ketchup packets upon request.)

Customer: “I will also like some ketchup.”

Me: “We don’t have any, but we do have packets.”

Customer: “That’s all right.”

(We hand him the packets to put on his sandwich. Five minutes later he walks up.)

Customer: “These don’t work.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your ketchup packets.”

(He had literally put the ketchup packets INSIDE his sandwich.)