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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Comment On Scents Makes No Sense

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work as a server in a restaurant with an open kitchen. A customer approaches me while I am walking towards the dish pit.)

    Customer: “Hello, ma’am. I loved the food but I have a complaint.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “It smells a lot.”

    Me: “What does it smell like, sir?”

    Customer: “Food.”

    (At this point I have no idea what to say.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir. Did you say it smells like food?”

    Customer: “Yes. My lady friends are complaining that their hair is going to smell like food. They just washed it.”

    Me: “Sir, you do know, it is an open kitchen restaurant…”

    Customer: “What do you mean, open kitchen? God, you’re so stupid. Of course it’s an open kitchen. You’re serving food! The people they hire these days…”

    Praying The Layaway Away

    | Taylor, MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a layaway service that has the option to cancel your layaway anytime you want.)

    Customer: “Hi, I just need to do a couple things today. I want to make a regular payment on one and pay the other one off.”

    Me: “Okay, I just need to see your ID. Do you want to do the payment first?”

    Customer: “I want to cancel one and take both out.”

    Me: *thinking I misheard* “Oh, sorry. I thought you wanted to make a payment and pay one off.”

    Customer: “No. I’m not making a payment, but I’m taking both out.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry? So you don’t want to cancel?”

    Customer: “No, I do want to cancel one! I want them both right now though!”

    Me: “So, you want me to take the one layaway out so you can buy it up front?”

    Customer: “No, what? I want my things, but I want my refund, too.”

    Me: “… Ma’am, if I’m hearing you right, I can’t give you your items if you don’t pay for it. You need to pay it off first.”

    Customer: “No one would have to know though, right? Just put it through as a refund and give me my stuff and my money. You’re going to be taking it out anyway. It’s easy.”

    Me: “… I can’t do that. That would be stealing.”

    Customer: “But I picked out the stuff myself! Whatever. I’ll come back later when someone actually WANTS to help me. You get confused too easy!”

    (She then walked off. Turned out she did try to come back and ask for a ‘refund,’ but was quickly taken care of by security when she began to throw a fit over ‘poor service!’)

    Not The Most Gifted

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    Me: “Yes, the iPads are on sale right now, and you get a $40 gift card with them as well.”

    Customer: “What do I do with that?”

    Me: “Um, you buy things with it.”

    Customer: “Oh, ya?”

    The Right Wine Or The White Wine

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in the wine department of a small grocery store. We will sometimes get customers with very little wine knowledge.)

    Customer: *holding up a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, a red wine* “Is this a white wine?”

    Me: “That’s a red wine, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, it’s a white wine?”

    Me: “No, that is a red wine.”

    Customer:” So, it’s a white wine?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, all Cabernet Sauvignon wines are RED wines.”

    (Customer turned and headed to our registers, with the bottle of Cabernet. I hope she did not need a white wine.)

    A Smashing Deal

    | CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer walks in and asks to trade her ‘Ultimate Captain America’ collectible for the limited Edition, $700 Hulk collectible.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to Toy Trades. Is there anything you need help with?”

    Customer: “I brought a collectible Captain America. I want to trade it for the Hulk.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll go grab the Hulk. ”

    (I go grab the Hulk and pass my co-worker, who says that she must have an expensive collectible.)

    Me: “Here it is.”

    Customer: “Oh, thanks! Here is my Captain America. Um, lemme take that…”

    Me: “Wait! By policy I need to look at your collectible.”

    Customer: “You don’t have to look at it… Consider it like a gift.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to look at your collectible first.”

    (She grabs the Hulk and tries to run but another customer grabs her.)

    Customer: “I JUST WANTED A D*** PRESENT FOR MY MOTHERF****** SON! TAKE THE CAPTAIN AMERICA, YOU IDIOT!”

    (She throws a toy Captain America that has a Fast Food Restaurant label on it. Being the empathetic person I am, I grab a Hulk eraser and hand it to her.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

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