Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Parked Her American Dream

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I work at a large department store that gets quite busy in the afternoon, and parking can be competitive. A woman is angry that another customer beat her to the spot she wanted, and becomes so upset that security goes out to see what is the matter.)

Customer: “This is horrible! I would expect this to happen in some uncivilized country, like Mexico, or Florida, but not here in AMERICA!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “Hello. I’ve got an email from you saying you’ve not been able to take my direct debit this month. Why’s that?”

(I take the customers policy number, confirm his details, and investigate his payments. Nothing’s changed at our end to account for it, so I ask…)

Me: “Did you have [amount] in your account for the payment?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you haven’t told your bank to cancel the direct debit?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No changes, at all, to your bank or finances? Nothing you can think of that may have caused this change?”

Customer: “Well, I closed my bank account recently…”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

Hashtag Fail

| Huntington Beach, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am working the till at a popular clothing store when a teenager comes to me to check out with her debit card.)

Me: “Please hit the pound key before you start typing your code.”

Girl: “Pound key? Where is that?”

Me: “It’s the number symbol.”

Girl: “HA! You mean the hashtag? I can’t believe you just called the hashtag a pound key!”

Me: *silence*

Girl: *finishes paying and goes to leave* “How old are you? Did they call it that in the 70s or something? I will NEVER get over that!”

Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of October

| Saratoga, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(It is about a half hour from closing when the phone rings. If you want to pay for delivery with a card, you have to do it over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Delivery, please.”

(We go through the normal ordering process of phone number, address, what she actually wants; when we get to the payment.)

Customer: “Yeah, I like, want to charge it.”

Me: “Okay, I just need your card number whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “It’s [Number].”

Me: “Expiration date?”

Customer: “October 2014.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s coming up declined. Let’s try the number again.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Okaaay, it’s 4… 2… 3…”

(She’s saying each number slowly and dramatically, as if I processed it wrong because I’m stupid. I’m a bit disgruntled until the next part happens.)

Me: “And for the expiration, I have ten-fourteen?”

Customer: “No, October. Like, eleven-fourteen.”

Me: “Okay, I think I see the problem here. You’re all set and it’ll be about forty minutes. Have a great night.”

Give It More Than Half A Thought

| Aberystwyth, Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work in a small corner shop in my university town. I was serving behind the till when a man came up with bin bags, that I wasn’t aware were on a special offer until I scanned them through the till. The following conversation took place when I realised this.)

Me: “Oh, sir, these bin bags are two for £1.20. Would you like to take another?’

Customer: “No. You see, I need double strength bags for heavy duty waste, so I only buy ten, because if I bought twenty they’d only be half strength.”

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