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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Gallons Of Stupidity

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a well known grocery store, mainly working to direct searching customers to their desired products. I am walking down the dairy aisle. I spot two teenagers waiting for a time. The first customer is holding cartons of milk in his hands, and the second customer is holding out a smart phone.)

    Me: “Do you two need any help right now?”

    Customer #1: “Actually… um, yeah…”

    (Customer #1 suddenly nods to Customer #2, who raises his smartphone. I can hear the sound from his that signals the record button being pressed. At this point, I’m starting to catch on that this is a gallon smashing prank.)

    Customer #1: “Woah, woah, woah!”

    (He badly acts that he’s accidentally falling, and tosses the containers of milk into the sky, and he falls flat on his back. The cartons hit the floor, but don’t shatter or release milk.)

    Customer #2: “Crap!”

    Customer #1: “We need to redo that!”

    (I’m just standing in amazement about how bad these two are at pranking someone.)

    Me: “Sir, if you keep intentionally keep damaging our products, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer #1: “It was an accident! I just slipped!”

    Me: “What about your friend over there recording?”

    Customer #2: “I’m just… taking a selfie!”

    (I start rolling my eyes, and go to pick up the cartons of milk. Out of nowhere, Customer #1 grabs the cartons of milk off the floor and tosses them up again. Again, nothing happens as they hit the floor.)

    Customer #2: “S***! We need another take!”

    Customer #1: “C’mon, just let us have one more try?”

    Me: “No. Get out of this store now, or I’ll call security for multiple attempts of destruction of property.”

    (The two teenagers quickly scurry out of the store, Customer #1 even tripping once during the way out.)

    Coworker: “Did those two try to do a gallon prank with cartons?”

    Me: “The world may never know.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (As an employee at the store I work at, it is part of my job to ask our customers if they’d like to apply for a store credit card. A customer in her twenties comes through my line.)

    Me: “Would you like to save [percent] by applying for a [Store] charge card?”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    (The applications go through our computer and the customer is immediately approved and a paper prints out with the credit limit and card number.)

    Me: “Okay, it looks like you were approved today! You should get your [Store] card in the mail within the next two weeks. If you would like to put your purchase on your card today, it would save you another [percent]. Would you like to put it on the card? You can even pay it off in the store after we’re done.”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    (We put the purchase on the card and everything goes smoothly until the end.)

    Me: “Okay, and would you like to pay your card off today or would you like to wait until you get your statement in the mail?”

    Customer: “What? I have to pay for it twice?”

    Me: “No, you haven’t actually paid for it yet. You put it on the store charge card.”

    Customer: “Yeah, so why do I have to pay for it again?”

    Me: “The store charge card is just like any other credit card. It has to be paid for after you use it.”

    Customer: “What’s a credit card?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32

    Your Solution Is The Bomb

    | SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling technical support, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I think my tablet is about to explode!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, did you just say explode?”

    Customer: “Yes! I think there’s a bomb in it! I was watching a video, and all of a sudden the video stopped and it started making this awful noise! It was a bomb, I’m sure of it! I threw it out in the front yard and I’ve already called the police to send the bomb squad!”

    Coworker: *unable to hide the fact that he’s now laughing* “You… you called the bomb squad?!”

    Customer: “Yes! I wasn’t sure if I should throw it outside or into the toilet!”

    Coworker: “No! You don’t want to throw it into the toilet! Is the tablet still in the yard?”

    Customer: “Of course! The bomb squad hasn’t come yet!”

    Coworker: “Can you go outside and grab the tablet for me? I promise it won’t blow up. It’s just frozen. We can fix it.”

    Customer: “I don’t know… Okay, I guess. If you’re sure.”

    (There is the sound of a frozen tablet glitching on a video gets loud as she goes outside.)

    Customer: “See! You can hear it! It’s going to explode!”

    Coworker: *struggling not to laugh directly at the customer* “No, ma’am, I assure you it’s not. Go ahead and pick it up and press the power button for me, then hold it down.”

    Customer:  ”It turned off! The screen is off! It’s going to blow!”

    Coworker: “No, ma’am, we just turned it off. Go ahead and turn it back on for me again?”

    Customer: “Oh… now it’s working. Thanks!” *click*

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work on Sundays; in the UK, the law states our shop can only be open for six hours. We close at half past four, but the staff stay until 5 pm. It’s quarter to 5, and I notice a woman in our car park, looking at the items we have outside. She looks at the door, and I think she’s seen the sign that says our opening times, so don’t shoo her away until I notice her picking some items up, and moves towards the door, only to find it locked. She rattles the door.)

    Me: “We’re closed, sorry!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “We close at half past four!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me & Manager: “We’re closed!”

    Customer: *shouting to her little boy* “[Name]! Get here. They’re closed!”

    (Thinking that’s the end of it, we go back to what we were doing. Suddenly she bangs on the door.)

    Customer: “…does this mean I can’t buy anything?”

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 3

    Comic: The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Religion

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