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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Just Not Feeling Those Fees

    | The Philippines | Extra Stupid, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a call center industry in Manila, Philippines. We cater to customers in Europe; most likely in the United Kingdom. We handle an online site where they buy and sell some of their items. Normally, customers are being charged for advertising their items on the site depending on for how much they sold their item.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Online Site] customer support. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help you today?

    Customer: *mad and loud voice* “Why the f*** am I being charged for listing my car on your website, when it says you have free listings today?”

    Me: “I do apologise for the inconvenience and misunderstanding regarding on the information you saw. Let me check what happened.”

    (I place the customer’s call on hold, and check on his listing.)

    Me: “Thank you for patiently waiting, [Customer]. Upon checking on your ad, you placed your car on sale in our site, and if you tried reading our notification before you place your advertisement online, it will show you how much you’ll be charged once the car was sold.”

    Customer: “What the f*** are you talking about? You said it was free listing day, I don’t understand. You f***ing mislead customers!”

    Me: “[Customer], let me walk you through in listing your items and I’ll show you the note at the bottom before you list your item online.”

    Customer: “Sure! I bet you’re f****** stupid and don’t know what you’re talking about. Go on and walk me through.”

    (As I walk him through, I show him where he can see the fees.)

    Me: “Now look at the bottom part of the page before clicking the button ‘save’ to advertise your item online; you’ll see that [Our Site] is excluded during Free Listing Days.”

    Customer: “Oh!” *seems ashamed, but still keeps shouting* “You should make that note larger! And you should know that the reason why I’m selling my car is that I don’t have any money! You stupid piece of s***! How can I have money if you’re going to charge me for this, huh?”

    Me: *still calm* “[Customer], I understand that you’d like to have the money in a whole amount. However, like what you saw when I walked you through, you will be charged no matter what happens.”

    Customer: *still shouting* “I won’t pay your d*** fees! I want to speak with your manager! You’re an idiot and I don’t wanna talk to you!”

    Me: “All right. Let me place your call on hold for a couple of minutes while I transfer you to my manager.”

    (I talk to my manager/supervisor and tell him what has happened. Then he takes the call)

    Manager: “Thank you for patiently waiting, [Customer]. My representative told me that you’re having concerns with your listing fees and he already explained what had happened. Is that correct? Can you explain more what happened?”

    Customer: *explains his issues for more than 10 minutes, over and over again*

    Manager: “I do apologise [Customer], but we only follow protocols that were given to us. And everything was clear that you will be charged for listing your call no matter what happens.”

    Customer: “Well, f*** you! F*** your rules! I will not pay you!”

    Manager: “If that’s the case, our collections department will be the one who’ll get in touch with you.”

    Customer: “F*** you! I’ll sue you! I’ll go to your place and kill you!” *click*

    Think They Are The Masters Race

    | FL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, School

    (I work in a call center for a large insurance company. My desk partner has just gotten a call from an extremely irate man. He is trying to find anything he can use to insult her. She is Filipino, but she was born in the US. She has no accent to speak of and a very American name.)

    Customer: “Are you even in America? Where are you located?”

    Coworker: “I’m in our Florida office, sir.”

    Customer: “Well at least you’re not some dot-head.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, well, even if you ain’t foreign, you’re obviously an idiot working in a call center. I don’t have time to talk to some uneducated girl.”

    Coworker: “Actually, sir, in addition to having a license to process insurance policies, I have a Master’s degree. So unless you have a Doctorate, I’m certain I’ve had more education than you, and I’m more than qualified to help you.”

    Customer: “Oh… uh…”

    (He didn’t have much to say after that, and I just sat there cackling.)

    Lacks The Power To Comprehend

    | London, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (One morning there is an electrical fire under the city streets that blows out power to the entire downtown core. Our store is completely closed, dark, and the roads are blocked off by the hydro company and firefighters who are tackling manhole fires. People still managed to get to our doors nonetheless. One tries to come in behind our manager as she is returning and locking the door.)

    Customer: “I just need my coffee. Two milk, two sugar, please.”

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, we’re closed. We have no power.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. Just pour the coffee and give me the rest on the side.”

    Manager: “Sorry, but we have no coffee right now and we won’t be open until at least noon.”

    Customer: “How do you not have coffee?”

    Manager:“Because we’re closed. We haven’t had power for three hours.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t you just ask them to turn it on quick?” *points to the city hydro truck and workers on the street*

    Manager: “They said it won’t be back until at least noon.”

    Customer: “Can I just come in and see what you have?”

    Manager: “We have no power, so we can’t use our tills, or sell you anything here.”

    Customer: “I’ll just start going to the other store, then!” *the other store is two blocks down, also without power*

    Manager: “Sure. Have a good day.”

    (The outage lasted about nine hours and knocked out every utility in radius of about 10-15 blocks in the core of downtown, including stores, traffic lights, and even complete road closures due to fires. People still couldn’t comprehend that we couldn’t sell them coffee all day.)

    Stupid Out Of The Starting Gate

    , | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a kiosk candy shop located in a popular shopping mall. Because of the location in the middle of the floor, some people don’t realise that we’re closed. I am cashing up after a long day. The gates that close off the kiosk have been closed and padlocked. The entire shopping centre has been closed for a good 15 minutes.)

    Customer: “Are you still open? I know exactly what I want so I’ll be quick.”

    Me: *thinking this guy is messing with me, I play along* “Yeah, sure, but only if you can manage to get over the gate.”

    Customer: *to his friend* “Yo, they’re still open! Give me a hand getting over this gate!”

    Me: “Ah, sorry, I was just kidding around with you. We actually closed over 20 minutes ago. I’m just running late.”

    Customer: “But… I can still get lollies, right?”

    (Whenever we have customers that don’t see past their own nose, I always have a bit of a joke with them and they laugh along. This was the first customer that actually thought I was serious.)

    Think They Can Call All The Shots

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (Our office is closed during lunch so that the nurses and receptionists can eat, and the shot clinic isn’t even open on this day. We have signs up on the windows and doors announcing this, but we still have people that try to get in during lunch, shake the doors, and then complain later that the receptionists wouldn’t let them in. As a result, the front office people tend to stay out of sight of the window when the office is closed. Sometimes, we’ve even hidden under the desks to keep patients from thinking we were open. I walk out of my part of the office and freeze. There’s a woman standing at the front door impatiently. I’m not clocked in, so I call for my coworker, who is technically also off the clock.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you? ”

    Patient: “Where is everyone? The door was locked!”

    Coworker: “The office is closed for lunch right now.”

    Patient: “I wasn’t sure. That’s why I went around to the back and knocked.”

    Me: *shocked* “You… went to the back?”

    (The back of the office is the break room and where we park our cars. The patients are not supposed to go back there, and this is the first one that’s been bold enough to try.)

    Patient: “Yeah, but nobody answered. I need to get my shot!”

    Coworker: ” Ma’am, the shot room is closed.”

    Patient: “What? Why?”

    Coworker: ” We don’t give shots today.”

    Patient: ” Wait, since when have you started doing that?”

    Coworker: “… Ma’am, we’ve NEVER given shots on this day of the week.”

    Patient: “WELL, YOU SHOULD!”

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