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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    No ID, No Idea, Part 18

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We ask for ID when the credit or debit card purchase is over 15 dollars. This customer’s total is $97.94.)

    Me: “Perfect, red for credit or type in the pin if it’s a debit card.”

    (The customer selects credit.)

    Me: “All right. Can I see your ID, please?”

    Customer: “Why the h*** do you need to see that?”

    Me: “To verify that the card matches the purchaser, sir.”

    Customer: “That’s why credit cards exist,boy! So that I can purchase whatever I want without ID! That’s how the world works son, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Well, sir, how do I know it’s you and not somebody stealing your card?”

    Customer: “Because it’s me! Nobody stole my card, did they?! I’m the one buying this right now with this card!”

    Me: “I would have no idea of knowing that unless I saw your Identification…”

    (He then gave me his ID and was very pleasant for the rest of the transaction. But I guess I learned how the world worked?)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 17
    No ID, No Idea, Part 16
    No ID, No Idea, Part 15

    Buy One, Get One Free a From Thought

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer presents me with a buy one get one free for a burger.)

    Customer: “How much would this come to?”

    Me: “That’s [price].”

    Customer: “Okay, and how much would it be if I didn’t use the coupon and only got one burger?”

    Me: *That’s [same price].”

    Customer: “But how come it’s the same price?”

    Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 3

    | TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a mattress retailer.)

    Customer: “I want to see your [price] queen set.”

    Me: “Okay, right this way.”

    Customer: “Yes, that looks just like the one I bought at [Competitor] for [price $50 higher]. Do you guys have a price match policy?”

    Me: “Yes, if you find the same product cheaper somewhere else we’ll match it.”

    Customer: “Well, then, I want my $50 refund.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Under your guarantee, you have to refund me my $50!

    Me: “But… didn’t you just say that you got it for $50 higher than our price at [Competitor]?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “So, you want us to refund you the $50 despite the fact that our price is lower, and you have never purchased anything from us.”

    Customer: “Yes! How hard is this to understand? That’s what a price match guarantee is!”

    Me: “Uh… I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t refund you money you never spent, plus the price match only applies if you buy the product from us and then find it cheaper somewhere else.”

    Customer: “Don’t try and confuse me! You have to give me $50. It’s in writing and I’ll sue you for false advertising if you don’t! You’ll be fired!”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, but what you need to do is go to [Competitor] and enquire about their price match guarantee. If you want to return your product there, I would be happy to sell you this one for [price].”

    Customer: “I can’t believe your lack of customer service! I’m never shopping here again!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you have yet to purchase anything from us in the first place.”

    Customer: “Well, I never!”

    (She stormed out of the store. I have no idea if she got her $50, but good riddance!)

    Related:
    Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 2
    Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer

    Not Linked To Reality

    | Europe | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Client: “This is not what we requested at all. This [document] looks exactly the same as we provided a week ago. The deadline is tomorrow, we need this ASAP! When can you apply the edits?”

    Me: “[Client], there seems to be a misunderstanding. I click the link and see the entirely new document. Have you checked this [link]?”

    Client: “Found it. This should have been sent sooner.”

    Me: “There were three versions sent earlier during the week to your email. Did you not receive them? Just to show, I’ve attached screenshots of the timestamps and emails sent.”

    Client: “I did not scroll down to see the emails in Gmail. Please notify us earlier if I haven’t seemed to have noticed the link in your opinion.”

    Me: “…”

    Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

    | Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (Near the end of my night shift I have been held up. The doors are smashed to pieces, there are at least four police cars on the forecourt (including the dog unit), several police in the store and crime scene tape across the entrance. While being interviewed by a detective I notice a regular walking up to the door.)

    Policeman: “You can’t go in there, ma’am.

    (He is on the other side of the forecourt, too far away to stop her. The customer ignores him and moves the cones.)

    Policeman: “Ma’am! You can’t go in. They’re closed.”

    (She ignores him again, ducks under the tape and weaves her way through the shattered glass past two more shocked policemen. After picking up the newspaper she walks to the counter.)

    Manager: “We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Oh. Really? Why?”

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

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