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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    I Do Work Here, Does Not Work Here

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working in a popular clothing store chain. I notice a woman browsing so I approach her.)

    Me: “Hi there. Can I help you find anything?”

    Her: “Oh, that’s very kind of you, but I’m sure I can flag down a staff member soon.”

    Me: “I am a staff member.”

    (She looks at me, somewhat shocked.)

    Her: “You?! You don’t look like you work here at all!”

    (I laughed and showed her my store ID. She blushed and apologised profusely. This actually happened on numerous occasions over the time I worked there. Every staff member looked quite similar: bleached blonde hair, long fake nails, tight, revealing clothing, and sandals or heels. Then there was me: naturally dark blonde, wearing the most subtle and body covering clothing the store carried, and sneakers. It was no wonder!)

    Pest Control Out Of Control

    | WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a local pharmacy.)

    Customer: “I need to buy some Raid.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go look at the display.”

    (We walked to the display, and I began showing her various items.)

    Me: “Here’s something for ants—”

    Customer: “No, I don’t need that.”

    Me: “Okay. Um, here’s something for roaches.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t have roaches.”

    Me: “Do you have hornets or wasps or something?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Ma’am, can you tell me a little more about what, exactly, you need the Raid for?”

    Customer: “My son has lice.”

    Me: “Oh! Oh, God. No, ma’am, you don’t want Raid. You want Rid. Please don’t spray Raid on your son’s head!”

    Ignoring Those Nuggets Of Information

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (At our restaurant we serve a nugget meal, which comes with 8 or 12 nuggets. It’s the #5, but many people order a #8 or #12, wanting the nuggets. When they order a #12, it’s pretty easy to catch the error, as we don’t have a #12, but the #8 gets mixed up a lot with the actual #8, which is a grilled chicken club sandwich. I make it a habit to double and triple check #8 orders just in case. It happens way more often than I’d like. It’s near closing time, and most of the other employees are cleaning or working the drive-thru. I’m the only one at the register.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like the #8 with sweet tea.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be the grilled chicken club meal with a sweet tea?”

    Customer: “Um, yeah! That’s what I said!”

    Me: “Okay, just double-checking. Your total will be [total].”

    Customer: “Why would you need to check? I SAID a #8! What’s so hard?”

    Me: “I apologize, sir. Just wanting to make sure it’s right.”

    Customer: *getting very irate at what he seems to take as an insult to his intelligence* “Of course it’s right!! WHY WOULDN’T IT BE?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir.”

    (I finish ringing up his order, give him his drink, and his food, which has just come up.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    (I help the next person, then two women step up to my register.)

    Lady #1: “Hi, I’d like a #12, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t have a #12. Did you want the #5 with 12 nuggets instead?”

    Lady #1: “Oh, yes! I’m so sorry! Didn’t mean to say that; I guess I was just thinking of the number I wanted and it came out wrong.”

    Me: “Don’t worry about it. It’s no problem at all.”

    Lady #2: “We’re paying together. I guess I shouldn’t order a #8 if I want nuggets, right?”

    (She’s grinning, so I know she’s joking. I laugh.)

    Me: “You’d really be surprised how often that happens, honestly—”

    (Customer #1 suddenly storms back inside and to my register, cutting in front of the women.)

    Customer #1: “You gave me the wrong thing! Why is there a sandwich in here?”

    Me: “Sir, if you’ll wait just a minute, I’ll finish this order and then help you, as there are no other customers in line.”

    Customer #1: “NO! I am in a hurry and you messed up my order!”

    (I already know what his problem is, but I’m not about to help him over the other women who were already at my register.)

    Me: “Sir, please wait just a minute, okay?”

    Customer #1: *ignoring me* “I ordered a nugget meal and got a sandwich! I demand you fix this for free! How hard is it to get my food right?”

    Lady #1: “Oh, go ahead. We’re not in a rush.”

    Me: “Are you sure, ma’am?”

    Lady #2: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

    Me: “Okay. Now, sir, may I have your receipt?”

    (He thrusts it in my face.)

    Customer #1: “I ordered an #8 and I got this sandwich!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, the #8 is our chicken club sandwich. I remember taking this order a few minutes ago, and I repeated your order to you to make sure it was right. You did say it was.”

    Customer #1: “I wanted the nuggets, idiot! How hard is it to know I wanted the 8 nuggets?”

    Me: “I do apologize, sir—”

    Customer #1: “Don’t apologize! Fix! It! Now!”

    Lady #1: “Sir, you need to calm down. I ordered the wrong thing by accident, too, but I’m not acting like a child about it. If you ordered wrong and told her it was right when she repeated your order, it’s your own fault. Buy the nuggets if you want, but don’t make them give you free food over your own mistake.”

    Lady #2: “And you’d better hurry if you’re in such a rush.”

    Customer #1: “Fine! Do you sell the nuggets by themselves?”

    (We do, and I ring up his order. He leaves in a huff after getting his nuggets.)

    Lady #1: “You weren’t kidding about people mixing those combos up, honey!”

    Maybe He Was Looking For A Raspberry Pi

    | ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I own my own little computer repair shop, and lease it in a building next door to a restaurant. Though it is rare, I do sometimes get people who come into my shop by mistake looking for the restaurant because it offers to order out its food, and often this problem is resolved by me giving them directions to next door. My shop is very much so obviously a computer repair shop with only a desk to drop of your computer and a few displays with replacement parts. I am behind the drop off desk checking which order to work on next, when a customer comes in.)

    Me: “Oh, hi there. Here to pick up an order?”

    Customer: “Yup, I had a order for Ted.”

    Me: *I look up my database and find no orders for Ted.* “Umm, is it perhaps under any other name, or last name?”

    Customer: “No, I definitely put it under Ted.”

    Me: “Hmm, well what did you get done on your system? Maybe I can find it that way?”

    Customer: “Oh I ordered a large pepperoni, well done, with some hot wings.”

    Me: “You mean, like the food?”

    Customer: “…duh! You work in a restaurant. What do you think is here?”

    Me: “No, as you can see…” *I point around my shop* “I run a small computer repair shop.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! I’m the husband of the owner and if you don’t get me my order I’ll have you fired!”

    (I am amused by this, because since we’ve been neighbors for a few years I know for sure the owner of the restaurant is indeed a woman, but is also a same sex couple with her partner.)

    Me: “Really now? I heard she and her husband broke up.”

    Customer: “No, we didn’t. We’re a loving man and wife. Now get me my d*** food, now!”

    Me: “Sorry. I just can’t do that. It goes against my policies.”

    Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, now!”

    (I call the restaurant and ask if the owner could come over real quick. She does.)

    Owner: “What seems to be—” *comes in and stops almost immediately. at the sight of the customer.*

    Customer: “You’re not the manager of [Restaurant]. You’re just the stupid c*** that thinks you’re clever. I wanna speak to the owner, now!

    Owner: “For the last time, you stupid dolt, this is not [Other Restaurant]. Stop coming to my store and yelling at my employees and customers!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to leave now.”

    Customer: “Screw this s***! You’re all stupid f***s! You can all go to h***! I’ll never eat at [Other Restaurant] again! I’ll have your jobs, too!”

    (Both Owner and I were left dumbfounded by the stupidity of this customer. Lucky for me, though, I got a free sandwich for having to deal with the stupid dolt!)

    Wii-U Are Not Listening

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m browsing video games in a large national department store where all employees are required to wear red. This particular store, I’ve noticed, is pretty relaxed about what form the red shirt or top can take, as well as the shade of red. Coincidentally, I’m wearing a red t-shirt with a local hockey team’s name across it. A mother and her ten-year-old boy approach me.)

    Mother: “Excuse me, is the Nintendo Wii still on sale?”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Me: “I’m not sure. I don’t work here.”

    Mother: “Can you call someone back here who would know? He wants the Wii really badly.”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Me: “Well, there’s a customer service button over in movies. That should bring someone over. And I think he wants the Wii-U, the new system they came out with.”

    Mother: “You want me to walk over into another department and ring a bell?! What the h*** kind of employee are you?”

    Me: “I’m an employee of [National Insurance Company]. I’m not a clerk at this store.”

    Mother: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! You’re a punk kid!”

    Me: “I’m 26.”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Mother: *grabbing kid’s hand* “You know what? We’ll go to [Well-known Toy Store Chain] and pay full price for the god d*** Wii, because I’m sick of this crap!”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Me: *laughing* “Is that all he says?”

    Mother: “HOW DARE YOU!”

    (Eventually she was escorted from the store and the manager, after watching the entire exchange on the security tapes, let me use my ‘employee’ discount on the game I wanted. I got it for… Wii-U!)

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