October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Canada

Canada is a great nation, but it gets visited by its fair share of idiots, and sometimes produces them as well! If you want to know how stupid customers overcome the metric system, or those funny Canadian coins, then read on!

Can’t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot

| Trois-Rivières, QC, Canada | Canada, Language & Words, Top, Uncategorized

Coworker: “Hello, sir. Are you looking for something?”

Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You’re Chinese. You’re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the honest Canadians’ jobs!”

Coworker: “Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure you I was born in the province of Quebec.”

Customer: “Lies, lies, and lies!” *spots me* “Finally, a prime example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help me, please?”

Me: *in my New Brunswick accent* “Sure I can. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or Russian? Get me the manager! I don’t understand how a sane person could hire these instead of a hard working Canadian!”

Me: *grabbing the phone* “Calling Maria to front desk.”

Customer: “Maria!? That’s Latino!”

Yukon Freeze It

| Kelowna, BC, Canada | Canada, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cell Phone Company] customer service. How can I help you?”

Caller: “You sound different. Where are you from?”

Me: “Canada. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “Canada? How big is the igloo you work in?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t live in igloos. In fact, it’s about 40˚ here at the moment.”

Caller: “40˚ is freezing!”

Me: “40˚ Celsius. That’s 104˚ Fahrenheit.”

Caller: “Oh my god, how do you keep your igloos from melting?!”

Yukon Not Spend It
Yukon Not Believe This Juan
Yukon Spend It
Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
Yukon See It On A Map

It Will Be Kilo-Hours Before He Get’s It

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Canada, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Me: “Alright, your cell phone will be in service in twenty to thirty minutes.”

Customer: “How much is that in American time?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well, in Canada you use the Metric system, right?”

It’s All Dutch To Me

| Eindhoven, Netherlands | Canada, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, can I buy these, please?”

Me: “Sure. That’ll be 10 euros.”

(The customer hands me 10 Canadian dollars.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t take that currency.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because this isn’t Canada.”

Customer: “But I thought you guys use Canadian dollars? My friend said they use Canadian dollars outside the US.”

Me: “We don’t. We use Euros here.”

Customer: “Since when?”

Me: “Since 2002. Although before that, we used guilders, so your dollars would still be useless.”

Customer: “But they’re Canadian dollars!”

Me: “But this isn’t Canada.”

(At this point, I take a second look at the magazines he’s trying to buy.)

Me: ” Excuse me, but do you speak Dutch?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you buying Dutch magazines?”

Customer: “I thought they’d be in English.”

Me: “Because they speak English in Canada?”

Customer: *blushing* “Yeah.”

Loonie Toonies

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Hotels & Lodging, Uncategorized

Me: “Good evening, sir. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I need change for $5.00 so I can leave the maid a tip.”

(The guest hands me a Canadian $5.00 bill and I open my register and take out a ‘toonie’ and three ‘loonies’ and hand it to the guest.)

Guest: *blank look* “What is this?”

Me: “That is change for $5.00.”

Guest: “Is this real?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Guest: “Are you kidding me?”

Me: “No, sir. I assure you that is Canadian change for five dollars.”

Guest: “Is the maid going to understand what this stuff is?”

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