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    Category: Canada

    Canada is a great nation, but it gets visited by its fair share of idiots, and sometimes produces them as well! If you want to know how stupid customers overcome the metric system, or those funny Canadian coins, then read on!

    It Would Explain Canada’s Lack Of Sun

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Technology, Tourists/Travel

    (I have just activated a new smart-phone for a customer. I am showing them how to set it up.)

    Me: “…and that is how you would send a text message. Do you have any other questions?”

    Customer: “The time is wrong on this phone.”

    Me: “That’s because you haven’t selected the correct time zone. Here, I will show you the time setup.”

    (I show the customer the list of time zones, and briefly leave her to answer another customer’s question.)

    Customer: *impatiently* “Excuse me! Excuse me! This phone you have given me is broken!”

    Me: “Broken? Why do you say that?”

    Customer: “There is no ‘Canadian’ time zone! It keeps trying to put it on ‘Eastern’!”

    Me: “Yes, that would be correct, it’s seven o’clock here.”

    Customer: *indignantly* “We don’t live in the east! This is Canada!”

    Can’t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot

    | Trois-Rivières, QC, Canada | Canada, Language & Words, Top

    Coworker: “Hello sir, are you looking for something?”

    Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You’re Chinese. You’re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the honest Canadian’s jobs!”

    Coworker: “Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure you I was born in the province of Quebec.”

    Customer: “Lies, lies and lies!” *spots me* “Finally, a prime example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help me please?”

    Me: *in my New Brunswick accent* “Sure I can. What are you looking for?”

    Customer: “What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or Russian? Get me the manager! I don’t understand how a sane person could hire these instead of a hard working Canadian!”

    Me: *grabbing the phone* “Calling Maria to front desk.”

    Customer: “Maria!? That’s Latino!”

    Yukon Freeze It

    | Kelowna, BC, Canada | Canada, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Cell Phone Company] customer service. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “You sound different. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Canada. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Caller: “Canada? How big is the igloo you work in?”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t live in igloos. In fact, it’s about 40˚ here at the moment.”

    Caller: “40˚ is freezing!”

    Me: “40˚ Celsius. That’s 104˚ Fahrenheit.”

    Caller: “Oh my god, how do you keep your igloos from melting?!”

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    It Will Be Kilo-Hours Before He Get’s It

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Canada, Math & Science

    Me: “Alright, your cell phone will be in service in twenty to thirty minutes.”

    Customer: “How much is that in American time?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Well, in Canada you use the Metric system, right?”

    It’s All Dutch To Me

    | Eindhoven, Netherlands | Canada, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Hey, can I buy these, please?”

    Me: “Sure. That’ll be 10 euros.”

    (The customer hands me 10 Canadian dollars.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t take that currency.”

    Customer: “What? Why?”

    Me: “Because this isn’t Canada.”

    Customer: “But I thought you guys use Canadian dollars? My friend said they use Canadian dollars outside the US.”

    Me: “We don’t. We use Euros here.”

    Customer: “Since when?”

    Me: “Since 2002. Although before that, we used guilders, so your dollars would still be useless.”

    Customer: “But they’re Canadian dollars!”

    Me: “But this isn’t Canada.”

    (At this point, I take a second look at the magazines he’s trying to buy.)

    Me: ” Excuse me, but do you speak Dutch?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Then why are you buying Dutch magazines?”

    Customer: “I thought they’d be in English.”

    Me: “Because they speak English in Canada?”

    Customer: *blushing* “Yeah.”


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