July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Canada

Canada is a great nation, but it gets visited by its fair share of idiots, and sometimes produces them as well! If you want to know how stupid customers overcome the metric system, or those funny Canadian coins, then read on!

Yukon Not Believe This Juan, Part 2

| Richmond, VA, USA | Canada, Military

(Canadian Army Reservists go to Fort Pickett in Virginia to train with the National Guard. I am in the last flight out of the U.S. and back to Nova Scotia. I am in my uniform, waiting for to be processed through security when a fellow traveler approaches me.)

Traveler: “Thank you so much for protecting us! We are so proud of the bravery of soldiers defending the United States!”

Me: “Thank you ma’am, but I’m not an American. I’m from the Canadian Army.”

(She looks confused, so I point to the small Canadian flag on my shoulder.)

Me: “You know, your friendly neighbours to the north?”

Traveler: “Oh! Mexico!”

Related:
Yukon Not Believe This Juan

Pride Goeth Before A Deal

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Canada, Money, Top, Uncategorized

(I work at a call center in Canada dealing with American cell customers. This is a call from a customer in Seattle.)

Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Does your company outsource to India?”

Me: “I don’t know for sure, but I know it does hire companies out of the USA.”

Caller: “I’d like to cancel my service, then.”

Me: “I can do that for you. May I ask why you’d like to cancel?”

Caller: “I don’t support companies that don’t support America. If they’re hiring out of America, then I don’t want to support them.”

Me: “All right, I’ll process that cancellation for you.”

Caller: “Am I calling to India?!”

Me: “No. I’m actually in Canada.”

Caller: “Oh, I love Canada! I do all my shopping there. Everything is so much cheaper!”

Loony Over A Loonie

| Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Canada, Top

(I am ringing out an American girl. Keep in mind Canada uses coins for $1 and $2.)

Me: “…and your change is $3.64. You have a wonderful day.”

Customer: “Excuse me, you didn’t give me the right change.”

Me: “Yes I did.”

Customer: “No you didn’t. You only gave me coins, no paper.”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re in Canada, and here we use coins.” *I hold up a $1 coin* “This is a loonie, and is worth $1.”

Customer: “What’s a Canada?”

It Would Explain Canada’s Lack Of Sun

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Technology, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I have just activated a new smart-phone for a customer. I am showing them how to set it up.)

Me: “…and that is how you would send a text message. Do you have any other questions?”

Customer: “The time is wrong on this phone.”

Me: “That’s because you haven’t selected the correct time zone. Here, I will show you the time setup.”

(I show the customer the list of time zones, and briefly leave her to answer another customer’s question.)

Customer: *impatiently* “Excuse me! Excuse me! This phone you have given me is broken!”

Me: “Broken? Why do you say that?”

Customer: “There is no ‘Canadian’ time zone! It keeps trying to put it on ‘Eastern’!”

Me: “Yes, that would be correct, it’s seven o’clock here.”

Customer: *indignantly* “We don’t live in the east! This is Canada!”

Can’t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot

| Trois-Rivières, QC, Canada | Canada, Language & Words, Top, Uncategorized

Coworker: “Hello, sir. Are you looking for something?”

Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You’re Chinese. You’re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the honest Canadians’ jobs!”

Coworker: “Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure you I was born in the province of Quebec.”

Customer: “Lies, lies, and lies!” *spots me* “Finally, a prime example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help me, please?”

Me: *in my New Brunswick accent* “Sure I can. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or Russian? Get me the manager! I don’t understand how a sane person could hire these instead of a hard working Canadian!”

Me: *grabbing the phone* “Calling Maria to front desk.”

Customer: “Maria!? That’s Latino!”

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