Category: Canada

Canada is a great nation, but it gets visited by its fair share of idiots, and sometimes produces them as well! If you want to know how stupid customers overcome the metric system, or those funny Canadian coins, then read on!

Yukon Not Steal It

| Strasbourg, France | Canada, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I’m Canadian, but I’m visiting my French cousin and helping him do some repairs on his cafe. While we’re working, a large family passes by, obviously lost. I’m wearing a shirt with a large Canadian flag on the back.)

Mother: “Excuse me! I’m sorry to bother you, but are you Canadian?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Mother: “Thank god! We’ve been lost for hours.”

(She shows me her map. Ultimately, I work out they’re trying to cross the border into Germany, but got lost trying to find out how to get there.)

Father: “Good thing the signs are all in French, or else we wouldn’t have managed to find our way around anywhere!”

Me: “Yeah, it sure makes things easier for Canadians, eh?”

(Suddenly, there’s a scuffle behind me. My cousin comes out dragging two of their sons behind him.)

Cousin: “They were trying to steal bottles of juice! I heard them planning it!”

Son #1: *to Son #2* “Well, how was I supposed to know they speak French here? They all sound so different!”

(Quebecois and French speakers do sound somewhat different, but angry mothers are universal!)

Related:
Yukon Call Them
Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3
Yukon Not Spend It
Yukon Not Believe This Juan

Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones, Part 2

| BC, Canada | Canada, Tourists/Travel

(A tourist and his friend come into my gas station.)

Tourist: “Where’s all the snow and igloos?”

(I think he’s just joking, so I play along.)

Me: “Oh, we put them away during the tourist season to make Americans feel more at home.”

Tourist: “That sounds like a lot of work.”

Me: “Keeps us strong for lumberjacking, eh. All part of that Canadian hospitality.”

Tourist: “Makes sense. Thanks bro.” *leaves*

Tourist’s Friend: “He thinks you’re serious.”

Me: *facepalm*

Related:
Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones

Canada, America’s Hat, Part 6

| Michigan, USA | Canada, Geography

(Our company is part of a global organization that holds weekend teaching conferences across North America.)

Caller: “Do you ever have programs in Canada, or just in the States?”

Me: “Our territory covers North America. We have programs in the US, Canada, and Bermuda.”

Caller: “Canada isn’t part of North America.”

Me: “Yes it is. Canada is part of North America.”

Caller: “Typical American attitude! Canada is its OWN country!”

O, Canaduh

| UK | Canada, Tourists/Travel

(A customer walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi sir! What can I get—“

Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian! Do you have a normal coffee?”

Me: *confused* “Erm, yes, sir, we have filter coffee that you can add milk to, if you’d like?”

Customer: “That’ll do. Thanks!”

(We finish the transaction and I’m still confused as to his interesting but random piece of information. I watch him as he goes towards the station where the milk is kept. There is another customer there putting milk in her coffee. When she finishes, he reaches across to get the milk.)

Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian!”

Meanwhile In Oklahoma

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Canada

(I ring up a customer, who pays with debit. Shortly after I give him the debit machine to go through the prompts.)

Customer: “Oh, it seems to have cancelled the transaction.”

Me: “No problem. We’ll just start over.”

(I swipe his card again and hand him the machine.)

Customer: “See, here’s where I went wrong.”

(He shows me the screen. It says ‘Purchase: 8.50$ OK?’ Underneath, the left button is indicated as ‘OK’, and the right as ‘CAN’ for ‘cancel’.)

Me: “So, did you press OK to approve the transaction?”

Customer: “I thought CAN meant Canada!”

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