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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Canada

    Canada is a great nation, but it gets visited by its fair share of idiots, and sometimes produces them as well! If you want to know how stupid customers overcome the metric system, or those funny Canadian coins, then read on!

    Loony Over A Toonie

    | QC, Canada | Canada, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (The tourist shop where I work accepts US dollars; however, we can give change only in Canadian money. As we are in Quebec, my coworkers speak mostly French, but English is my first language.)

    Co-worker: *in French, to me* “Can you come explain to this guy why we can’t give him American change? He’s pretty upset, and my English isn’t good enough for me to understand him. He bought an ice cream sandwich and an ice cream cone, and his wife already walked off with the cone.”

    (The customer is an older gentleman, probably in his 60s or 70s, neatly dressed.)

    Me: “Okay.” *to customer, in English* “Sir, we can’t give out American change because we don’t maintain an American cash drawer. We only have whatever US money other people have already paid with, so we can’t guarantee exact change.”

    Customer: “Well, why do you take American money if you don’t give it back?”

    Me: “We accept American money as a service to our customers, so that you can still make purchases even if you haven’t changed your money yet.”

    Customer: “Service?! Yeah, right!”

    Me: “It is a service, sir. As we are in Canada, we are not obligated to accept American money. But if we hadn’t accepted your money, you wouldn’t have been able to purchase the ice cream you wanted. We’re doing something we don’t have to do, in order to help you out. That’s a service.”

    Customer: “Well, just take back the stuff I bought and give me my $10 bill back, then!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I cannot give you a refund for a product that has already been consumed.”

    Customer: “The ‘product’ has not been ‘consumed’!”

    (The customer points to the ice cream sandwich still on the counter, but the ice cream cone he bought is nowhere to be seen.)

    Me: “Your receipt shows you also purchased an ice cream cone, which I don’t see here. I’m told your wife left with it; I assume she’s eaten it by now?”

    Customer: “You know, you should have warned me before you took my money that I wouldn’t get American change back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But when you travel in a foreign country, it’s assumed that you will not be able to use the money of the country you came from, but will have to, at some point, use the money of the country that you’re in. I don’t see how your being given Canadian change while you are in Canada is something you should be warned about.”

    Customer: “Just give me my money back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t give you your money back, and I can’t give you American change. There’s nothing more I can do for you.”

    Customer: “There’s nothing you can do?! Well, I tell you what!” *shoves his Canadian change across the counter at me* “You just take that and you stick it wherever it fits best!”

    Me: “Okay, sir!”

    (I drop his change in the tip jar.)

    America: Canada’s Shoes

    | Duluth, MN, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (Because our store is located fairly close to the Canadian border, we sometimes get customers from Canada who come to take advantage of our sales. It is Black Friday.)

    Customer: “Why is it so busy? I’ve never had to wait in line so long!”

    Me: “I apologize for the wait ma’am, but it is Black Friday.”

    Customer: “So? We don’t madness on Fridays in Canada!”

    Me: “It’s Black Friday. It’s the day after our Thanksgiving, where stores have the biggest sales of the year, which means we are really busy.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t have had to wait in line so long! I’m from Canada! I didn’t know it would be this busy!”

    Me: “With all due respect ma’am, why did you drive three hours to shop today?”

    Customer: “Because it’s the biggest sale of the year!”

    Me: “That’s also why so many Americans are here.”

    Customer: “Still! I’m from Canada! We don’t have Black Friday!”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Slightly Accented Hair

    | NY, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (I have lilac hair with blue tips. I also wear light grey contacts, and I have slight Irish accent.)

    Customer: “Oh my, such pretty hair you have!”

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Customer: “Is it natural?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like, were you born with that hair color? That’s so peculiar!”

    Customer’s friend: “That’s not the only thing peculiar about her! Look at her eyes, they’re so big and grey!”

    Me: “Oh, they’re just contact lenses.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Look, she’s even speaking with a weird accent! You must not be from here! Are you from Canada?”

    Customer and her Friend: *simultaneously* “Ah, Canadians!”

    Yukon Not Steal It

    | Strasbourg, France | Canada, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m Canadian, but I’m visiting my French cousin and helping him do some repairs on his cafe. While we’re working, a large family passes by, obviously lost. I’m wearing a shirt with a large Canadian flag on the back.)

    Mother: “Excuse me! I’m sorry to bother you, but are you Canadian?”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    Mother: “Thank god! We’ve been lost for hours.”

    (She shows me her map. Ultimately, I work out they’re trying to cross the border into Germany, but got lost trying to find out how to get there.)

    Father: “Good thing the signs are all in French, or else we wouldn’t have managed to find our way around anywhere!”

    Me: “Yeah, it sure makes things easier for Canadians, eh?”

    (Suddenly, there’s a scuffle behind me. My cousin comes out dragging two of their sons behind him.)

    Cousin: “They were trying to steal bottles of juice! I heard them planning it!”

    Son #1: *to Son #2* “Well, how was I supposed to know they speak French here? They all sound so different!”

    (Quebecois and French speakers do sound somewhat different, but angry mothers are universal!)

    Related:
    Yukon Call Them
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3
    Yukon Not Spend It
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan

    Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones, Part 2

    | BC, Canada | Canada, Tourists/Travel

    (A tourist and his friend come into my gas station.)

    Tourist: “Where’s all the snow and igloos?”

    (I think he’s just joking, so I play along.)

    Me: “Oh, we put them away during the tourist season to make Americans feel more at home.”

    Tourist: “That sounds like a lot of work.”

    Me: “Keeps us strong for lumberjacking, eh. All part of that Canadian hospitality.”

    Tourist: “Makes sense. Thanks bro.” *leaves*

    Tourist’s Friend: “He thinks you’re serious.”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Related:
    Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones


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