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    Category: Canada

    Canada is a great nation, but it gets visited by its fair share of idiots, and sometimes produces them as well! If you want to know how stupid customers overcome the metric system, or those funny Canadian coins, then read on!

    Yukon Freeze It, Part 3

    | Niagara, ON, Canada | Canada, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m about 10 years old. I’m coming out of a store, when a very obvious tourist couple confronts me. They have a kayak strapped to the top of their truck, and some skidoos trailered to the back. It’s summer.)

    Tourist: “You! You can you help me!”

    Me: “Umm, okay. What’s wrong?”

    Tourist: “Where can I go ice fishing?”

    Me: “A lot of places, but it’s way too warm for that right now.”

    Tourist: “We’re in Canada, correct?”

    Me: “Yeah, but it’s summer time. Maybe if you were much further north you’d find ice.”

    Tourist: “I drove up from the south; this is north.”

    Me: “Umm, well you could take your kayak out to Lake Ontario to go regular fishing, but not ice fishing.”

    (The tourist’s wife, with selective hearing issues, chimes in.)

    Tourist’s Wife: “We can go ice fishing?!”

    Me: *gives up* “Sure, just go down Lake Street, and you’ll find the lake.”

    Tourist’s Wife: “Honey look, they name their streets after the places they go to! How cute!”

    (I watch them drive off in the opposite direction.)

    Related:
    Yukon Freeze It, Part 2
    Yukon Freeze It

    Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2

    , | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We sell burgers in 1/4 lb and 1/2 lb size. It is part of our job to clarify which burger the customer is ordering. I overhear my coworker’s exchange at the next till.)

    Customer: “I’d like a burger please.”

    Coworker: “Certainly. Would you like the 1/4 lb or 1/2 lb?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure; whichever is bigger.”

    Coworker: “That would be the 1/2 lb.”

    Customer: “Sorry, I’m from the States, and I don’t understand your Canadian measurements!”

    Related:
    Dumb By Any Metric

    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

    Customer: “Do you take real money?”

    Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Real money!”

    (The customer holds up US currency.)

    Me: “Oh, yes we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

    Customer: “Good, you people here are weird about your money.”

    Related:
    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2
    Loonie Over A Toonie

    New Degrees Of Stupidity

    | WA, USA | Canada, Math & Science

    (I work in a clothing store at an outlet mall where we get a lot of Canadian customers. It was particularly cold on the day this occurred. Two teenage girls walk into my store.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you girls doing this morning? Are you staying warm?”

    Girl #1: “We’re trying!”

    Me: “When I came into the store from my car this morning, it was 18 degrees! That’s FREEZING!”

    Girl #1: “Yeah it is… Wait, how did you know we were from Canada?”

    Me: “…I didn’t…”

    Girl #1: “But how did you know we needed Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?”

    Me: “Uh… that was Fahrenheit.”

    Girl #2: *laughs at her friend* “Wow! Now this girl probably thinks we’re stupid! Good job!”

    Another Reason To Hate The News

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Canada, Money, Movies & TV

    (I work in a major sandwich franchise in Canada.)

    Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store]. What can I get started for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you guys have the chicken sandwich for $5 dollars this month, right?”

    Me: “No, sir, that promotion is actually only available in the US at the moment.”

    Customer: “What? What are you talking about? Since when has there ever been a difference?”

    Me: “Well, promotions and prices have always been different between the two countries. I think that’s how it’s always been for large franchises.”

    Customer: “I still want the promoted price I saw on the commercial.”

    Me: “Is it possible that you were watching an American channel when you saw this commercial sir?”

    Customer: “Of course not! I only watch Canadian television! What do I look like to you, some kind of Yankee?”

    Me: “What channel were you watching, sir?”

    Customer: “Fox News.”

    Me: “That’s an American channel sir.”

    Customer: “Oh… well…”

    (He ended up ordering the sandwich he wanted, and he paid the marked-up price for it.)

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