Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,236 thumbs up)
  • Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    Didn’t Do Math At Hogwarts

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (A customer is renting ‘Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.’)

    Customer: “Have you watched this?”

    Me: “Yes, but I found the books to be much better.”

    Customer: “How can you like the work of some lazy author?”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: “There are eight movies, but only seven books. The author got lazy and wrapped everything up in seven books instead of writing eight!”

    Failed The Geek Test

    | SC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Do you have The Hobbit?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s back in SciFi/Fantasy. Alphabetical by author’s last name. Tolkien.”

    Customer: “Why is The Hobbit in SciFi/Fantasy?”

    Me: “Uhh…”

    Customer: “It’s a test.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: *visibly annoyed* “Health Occupational Basics Entrance Test. Why is it in SciFi? That doesn’t make any sense.”

    Me: “Oh! Hold on.” *looks it up on the computer* “Yeah, we don’t have anything like that in the store. I can order something if you want.”

    Customer: “What?! I called earlier and the woman I talked to said you had it in the store.”

    Me: “Yeah… she probably thought you were talking about The Hobbit. Do you want me to order a title for you?”

    Customer: “NO!” *walks out with a huff*

    A Culling Of A Cullen

    | WI, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Love/Romance

    (I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

    Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

    Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

    Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

    Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

    (I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)

    Trying Not To Read Ahead

    | Iceland | Books & Reading, Health & Body

    (I’m working the checkout counter when a cheerful old man, one of our regulars, comes to check out a book.)

    Customer: “Do you also have that autobiography by [Author]?”

    Me: “Let me check… Yes, we do have it. Would you like me to get it for you?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I’ll borrow it at a later date. I only ever borrow one book at a time, you know. After all, I’m in my 90s now. I might not live to return it!”

    About To Get Himself Booked

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Geeks Rule

    (We WERE a specialty bookstore but have gone the way of many others and are liquidating stock, with the only thing not discounted being rare or signed editions in a locked glass cabinet. Whilst most books are massively discounted, we also have a basket of books with minor shelf damage with a sign that states they are damaged and therefore customers are welcome to take a free one with any purchase. A customer approaches with a handful of them.)

    Customer: “I’d like a discount on these. They’re damaged.”

    Me: “Well, everything’s pretty much discounted. It doesn’t get much cheaper than $1 a book. Even so, they’re free if you purchase another item.”

    Customer: “So, all the damaged books are free?”

    Me: “Yes, if you purchase another book with them.”

    Customer: “I’ll be right back.”

    (He leaves his stack on the counter and I help other customers when I notice a cracking sound. He triumphantly returns to the counter, shoving other customers out of the way saying he was there first. I look over his shoulder to see he’s broken the latch on the rare book display to force it open as he slams a leather bound book signed by Neil Gaiman AND Terry Pratchett on the counter, cracking the hardcover.)

    Customer: “All the damaged books are free, right?”

    (You really don’t want to know what some of the other customers did…)

    Page 8/34First...678910...Last