Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (2,007 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    Pray For Her Math Students

    | Asheville, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (As the manager of a large bookstore, part of my job is to call customers who have written bad checks to arrange payment. I call one such customer. I identify myself and verify that I am speaking to the check-writer.)

    Me: “I’m calling in regard to a check you wrote for $534 on [date]. It has been returned for insufficient funds, so we’ll need you to come by—”

    Customer: “Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re calling me about this! I gave you the books back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry? You gave them back? Did you speak to anyone?”

    Customer: “Of course! I gave them to the cashier and filled out paperwork!”

    (On a hunch, I search the returns for her name. She did return the books, and got a cash refund.)

    Me: “Okay, I see you brought them back on [date] and got a cash refund. Is that right?”

    Customer: “Yes! And you should be fired for calling me at home for no reason!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you still have to pay for the bounced check.”

    Customer: “What? I don’t have the books! I am not paying for books I don’t have!”

    Me: “You wrote a bad check for merchandise, then returned the merchandise for cash. But the check is still worthless and has to be paid.”

    Customer: “What kind of idiot are you? Listen carefully: I. Do. Not. Have. Your. Books. I gave them back and that’s the end of it.”

    Me: “I’m afraid it doesn’t matter whether you have the books or not. Now, instead of books, you have our money and we still have a worthless check. You really need to take care of this, or it will be a police matter. I’m sure you don’t want me to go to the magistrate.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a thief?! If you turn me into the police, I’ll have YOU arrested for false reports! I’ll have your job for this! I am a school teacher! I teach math!”

    Me: “Ma’am. I need you to follow along here. You wrote a bad check for merchandise, and then returned that merchandise for cash. That is fraud, and it is in an amount that can get you in serious trouble.”

    (The customer screams about how I am trying to rob her of money, then hangs up. I phone back a few days later, to give her another chance. Still furious, she sticks to her guns. I try my best, but she just won’t listen or try to understand. After sending her several certified demand letters, I have no choice but to file a criminal complaint. And being over $400, it is a felony fraud charge. Not long afterward, I get a final phone call from her.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU THE B**** WHO SENT THE POLICE TO MY SCHOOL?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I had to turn your NSF check over for prosecution because you refused to pay. I gave you many chances to avoid that.”

    Customer: “I MIGHT LOSE MY JOB! I have never been so humiliated! I’m going to sue you and your company for this! You are going to jail for what you’re doing to me!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’ve tried everything to make you understand, so do what you think you need to do.”

    (Ultimately, she is found guilty and told to pay the check and fee, plus court costs. Even when the magistrate explains it to her, she refuses to believe that she owes the money.)

    You’d Bella Believe It, Part 2

    | Bozeman, MT, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading

    (A guest has been making snide comments about everything from the biscuits and gravy at breakfast to the TV channel that was on in the breakfast room. He has also been calling me (a 31-year-old woman) ‘sweetie,’ ‘honey’ and ‘darling’ mockingly for about 20 minutes. He sees my Kindle out on the desk and, of course, has to comment.)

    Guest: “So honey, what are you reading? Twilight?” *laughs*

    Me: *putting so much sugar in my voice I want to gag* “No, actually it’s a book by a nationally known but still local author called Monster Of God. It examines the cultural, ecological and economic impacts of alpha predators in areas that allow them to come in to contact and conflict with humans.” *sweet smile*

    Guest: “Oh… okay. Have a nice day.”

    Related:
    You’d Bella Believe It

    Will Return In Three Days

    | IL, USA | Books & Reading, Religion

    (I am checking out a customer, who is is purchasing a Christian book.)

    Customer: “This is a gift for a good friend of mine!”

    Me: “Would you like a gift receipt?”

    Customer: “Nope. Can’t return Jesus!”

    Didn’t Read The Signals

    | WA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I overhear a library patron talking to his small daughter.)

    Patron: “You’re turning five today; do you know what that means?”

    Daughter: “Uh…”

    Patron: “Do you know what you finally get today? It’s so exciting!”

    Daughter: “A pink Nintendo DS?!”

    Patron: “What? Uh, no. We’re getting you a library card.”

    Me: “…weeee! Happy birthday!”

    What Would Jesus Discount?

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Money, Religion

    (I’m ringing up a customer at a store that specializes in Christian books and church resources. She has two coupons: one for 20% off everything, and one for 40% off a single item.)

    Me: “…and with the coupon, your total comes to $18.95.”

    Customer: “No, no, you didn’t use both my coupons. I have two here, see?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t use both of them on the same transaction. I used the 20% because it would save you more. You can hold on to the 40% to use another time.”

    Customer: “No! You have to use both!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it says that you can only use one coupon per item. The 20% covers everything in your order. It’s a better deal overall.”

    Customer: “Liar! It doesn’t say that anywhere! The manager at your other location lets me do this all the time!”

    Me: “No, he’s pretty strict about company policy. I’m positive he wouldn’t double up on coupons. Look here at the fine print: ‘Only one coupon per item.’”

    Customer: “You are a filthy liar trying to cheat me out of my hard-earned money! What is your name?”

    Me: “…my name, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I’m going to report you to corporate and you’re going to lose your job! What is your name?!”

    Me: “My name is [name], ma’am.”

    Customer: “[Name], got it. You’re going to be sorry!”

    (She snatches both her coupons away, and stomps toward the door. As she storms by the line of customers behind her, another customer pipes up.)

    Other Customer: “What a lovely Christian attitude you had talking to that cashier! That’s DEFINITELY what Jesus would have done!”

    (The angry customer goes beet red and flees. I never see her again, and no, she never called corporate to complain.)


    Page 6/28First...45678...Last