Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

An Authorized Idiot

| Benicia, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

(A customer calls the store and asks me to look up a book for her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can not find a book with that title. Do you know who the author is? I might be able to find it that way.”

Customer: “I don’t know who the author is, but I know who wrote it!”

Battling For The Answer

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi. Can I help you find something?”

Patron: “Yeah, my son’s doing some project and he needs some books on some sort of revolution.”

Me: “Okay, so he can pick any revolution to do the project on?”

Patron: “No, he’s doing it on The Revolution. Where do I find books on that?”

Me: “Which revolution? American? French? Haitian? Industrial? There were a lot.”

Patron: “I think he said it was the one that had a lot of battles.”

Judging By Their Cover

| Augusta, GA, USA | Books & Reading, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(I’m stocking the front-of-store. A couple asks me for help.)

Wife: “Hi, we’re looking for a gift for a really weird friend of ours. He’s really hard to shop for.”

Me: “Sure, what sort of thing are you looking for?”

Husband: “No, he’s really weird. He actually likes to read books.”

Wife: “Hush, honey. He works in a bookstore. He’s probably weird too.”

Totally, Like, Aguamenti

| Lawrenceville, NJ, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to get a new copy of this book.”

(The customer puts a very wet Harry Potter book on the desk.)

Customer: “It got wrecked and I really want to finish it.”

Me: “No problem. How did you ruin it?”

Customer: “It was very good…”

*pause*

Me: “…and?”

Customer: *slightly sheepish* “I was reading it in the shower.”

Related:
Totally, Like, Excruciatus

Did They Even Finish Elementary, My Dear Watson?

| NJ, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi I’m looking for the hounds…er hound of baskerville?”

Me: “Oh, of course. You mean the Sherlock Holmes novel?”

Caller: “Oh, my! I didn’t know Sherlock Holmes actually wrote that one!”

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