Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,709 thumbs up)
  • Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    That Helpful Attitude Needs To Be Shelved

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading

    (I am shelving a couple books. I have two books in my hands, each going in different sections.)

    Customer: *pointing* “Oh that book goes over here and that book goes over there.”

    Me: “But–”

    Customer: “The book goes right here.”

    Me: “Yes, I–”

    Customer: *takes book from me* “The book goes in this spot here.”

    Me: “I know.”

    Customer: “I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job. I’m just trying to be helpful!”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    One Store To Sell Them All, And In The Darkness Bind Them

    | Woodinville, WA, USA | Books & Reading

    (A customer walks up to counter and sets down a bag from a competitor’s store, pulls out competitor’s receipt, and starts unloading books with competitor’s sticker on them.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return these.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t take these back here. We’re [bookstore].”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “These books are from [competitor]. I can’t do this return.”

    Customer: “But don’t you have a store by the mall?”

    Me: “We do have a location a few blocks away from the mall, but the store inside the mall is actually [competitor].”

    Customer: “So you won’t take these back for me?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, since they weren’t purchased from us. You’ll need to take them back to [competitor] and they’ll be able to help you.”

    Customer: *surprised* “I thought all bookstores were the same!”

    Sharing Ones Loss

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers

    (Students are required to show their student ID cards when borrowing a book. Two students walk up to the front desk.)

    Student #1: “Hi, I’d like to borrow this book for my friend here.” *hands me their student ID card*

    Me: “If your friend would like that book, then she needs to bring her own ID card and borrow it herself. I can’t let you borrow it for her in case she causes any damage or loses it.”

    Student #1: “Oh. But she’s very responsible. She wouldn’t damage or lose it.”

    (I turn to the second student.)

    Me: “Where is your student ID card?”

    Student #2: “I lost it.”

    I Am 16 Going On 17

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Money

    Customer: “The price printed on the back says $16. Why are you charging me extra?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. This book costs $17. Your copy seems to contain a printing error. However, since we didn’t catch the mistake and your copy does say $16, I’d be happy to let you have the book for this price.”

    (The customer pays $16 for the book and walks away. A few minutes later she comes back holding another copy.)

    Customer: “I just wanted to let you know that I found another copy, and this one does say $17 on the back. How is this possible? Aren’t they all supposed to be identical?”

    Me: “Warehouses sometimes hold inventory that comes from more than one print run. That’s probably what happened here. They must have had some wrongly priced copies mixed in with the rest of the stock.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see. I am going to put the copy I just bought back on the shelf and take this one, okay? It’s the same book, so it shouldn’t make a difference to you.”

    Me: “We have let you have the book for the price printed on the cover, so I’m not sure I understand what the problem is.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, there is no problem. It’s just that I’m buying this for a friend as a gift and I want her to think I paid $17.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do understand that since this copy does not contain a pricing error, you will not be entitled to the discounted price.”

    Customer: “So if I get the copy that isn’t defective, I’ll have to pay full price?”

    Me: “That’s correct. Do you still want to exchange your copy for this one?”

    Customer: “Forget it. She’s not that good a friend.”

    Some Guys Are Made Of The Right Stuff

    | Carbondale, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you help me find a book on grieving? My husband just died.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. They’re right over here.”

    (I lead her over to the death and grieving books.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Actually yes. I’m also looking for a book on taxidermy.”

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