Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

Never Judge A DVD By Its Cover

| USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

Customer: “Hey, what movie did that other customer just turn in?”

Me:Book of Eli. Would you like to rent it?”

Customer: “A book? No, I don’t want no book. I hate reading!”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. Book of Eli is the title of the movie.”

Customer: “I don’t like books.”

Customer’s friend: “It’s not a book, it’s a movie.”

Customer: “Well, I bet it’s based on a book, and I hate books!”

Try Not To Read Too Much Into It

| Winchester, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Funny Names, Holidays, Top

(A six or seven year old boy comes into the children’s bookstore, his mother trailing behind him.)

Mother: “Go on then! Ask! She won’t know what you’re talking about and then you can stop wasting my time!”

Boy: “Hello!”

Me: “Hello.”

Boy: “I want a book.”

Me: “Well you’re in the right place.”

Boy: “It’s about a boy. Who lives with a caveman. He’s got a funny name beginning with ‘S’.”

Mother: “There. Now you know there’s no such book.”

Me: “That wouldn’t be ‘Stig of the Dump’ would it?”

Boy: *jumping up and down* “Yes yes yes! I told you mummy!”

Mother: “Don’t contradict me in front of my son!” *starts walking her son out of the shop and still talking to me* “You read too many books!”

Taking Their Sweet Time

| Tacoma, WA, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Top

Customer: “I’m looking for a book called Like Watery Chocolate For Chocolately Water or something.”

Me:Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel?”

Customer: “Um…no…it’s by this Mexican author.”

Me: “Yes, Laura Esquivel. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No, it has all these recipes in it.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.’

Customer: “No it has like this blue cover.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. I can take you right to it, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it! They’re making a movie out of it!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No! Oh, you’re just no help at all!” *stomps off*

How To Kill ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’

| Cape Cod, MA, USA | Books & Reading

(A teenage girl and her mother enter the store and walk over to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you with something?”

Teen: “Yeah, like, do you have, like, To Kill a Mockingbird?”

Me: “Yes we do. If you could follow me please.”

(I lead them to the book’s location, where we have two different copies.)

Teen: “Mom, pick the smaller one!”

Mother: “Honey, you that doesn’t make the story shorter, right?”

Teen: “Oh.”

One Brain For The IQ Of None

| London, UK | Books & Reading, Top

Customer: “This sticker says 3 for 2. What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that if you choose three books with that sticker on, the cheapest will be free. You get three books for the price of two.”

Customer: “But what if I only want two books?”

Me: “You don’t have to have to take a third book. You can just buy those two on their own. But you could get a free book to go with them; any book in the shop with that sticker on.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t want 3 for 2. Why are you trying to make people read books they don’t want?”

Me: “I can just sell you those two on their own. You don’t have to make use of the deal.”

Customer: “But it says 3 for 2, so I’d be missing out on a book.”

Me: “Well, you can choose a third book in the deal. Thenm you’ll get one for free.”

Customer: “But I only want these two!”

Me: “Ok, shall I put those two through the till for you?”

Customer: “Are you trying to rip me off? I want my free book.”

Me: *pause* “Would it help if I took the stickers off the covers, then they would just look like normal books?”

Customer: “Right! Yes! They shouldn’t be 3 for 2 anyway! They’re really good!”

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