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    Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    Some Guys Are Made Of The Right Stuff

    | Carbondale, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you help me find a book on grieving? My husband just died.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. They’re right over here.”

    (I lead her over to the death and grieving books.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Actually yes. I’m also looking for a book on taxidermy.”

    Jane Austen-tacious

    | Connecticut, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

    Customer: “Hi. Maybe you can help me. I saw a movie last night on TV. It was about those things that Oprah does? Do you know what it was?”

    Me: “What happened in the movie?”

    Customer: “Well, they read books, but only by this one person who writes books.”

    Me: “Like a book club?”

    Customer: “Yes! A book club! But the movie came from a book. What was the title?”

    Me: “Was it The Jane Austin Book Club?”

    Customer: “Yes! Would you have any books by Jane Austen?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    (I take her to our Jane Austen books. She is very excited and starts flipping through them.)

    Customer: “Hey, wait! There’s no photo of her! I want to see what she looks like!”

    Me: “I’m afraid there aren’t any photos of her.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “She lived two hundred years ago.”

    Customer: “Oh! So do all of her books take place in her time?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “So…she didn’t write The Jane Austen Book Club?”

    Not Going Buy The Book = Not Going To Buy The Book

    | Salem, OR, USA | Books & Reading

    Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I put a stack of books on hold up here three weeks ago.”

    Me: “Our policy states we can only hold books for 24 hours. So, there most likely not up here.”

    Customer: “You were the girl that put them on hold. You told me you could hold them till I came back. Don’t you remember?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I always let customers now about our 24 hour policy. We can’t hold their books for 3 weeks. I can get someone over here to help you find the books again if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Well, what were they?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “What books did I put on hold!? That was three weeks ago. How the h*** am I suppose to remember?”

    A Real Drinking Problem

    | High Point, NC, USA | Books & Reading

    (A customer is about to get on the elevator and go upstairs with a soda.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but soda is not allowed upstairs. We have an area right under the stairs that you can sit and drink it or you will need to take it outside.”

    Customer: “But I just bought it! You mean I can’t take it upstairs even if I’m not going to open it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They just don’t allow it.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to drink it? Well, I never would have bought it if I had known I was going to have to drink it!”

    Twilight Vs Holy Light

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Religion, Top

    (A young woman, about 20 years old, comes up to the counter holding a copy of The Bible.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything you needed today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, hey, can you tell me what this is about?”

    Me: “The Bible?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what’s it about?”

    Me: “The Bible has two parts, the Old Testament which is scriptures and the New Testament, which contains the story of Jesus’ life and works as told through the gospels, written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”

    Customer: “Huh. Is it any good?”

    Me: “It’s pretty popular.”

    Customer: “Nah, I’ll just get this one instead.” *puts a copy of Twilight on the counter*

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