• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    Deathly Out Of Touch

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (A woman walks up to my counter.)

    Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for the Necronomicon.” *a book that supposedly teaches you how to summon spirits*

    Me: “I think we have a copy over here.”

    (I take her over to the section, find the book, and pull it out for her.)

    Me: “Here it is!”

    Customer: *looks suspiciously at the book* “Do you have any other copies? You touched that one!”

    Me: “Um, yes, there is another copy on the shelf.”

    Customer: “Good! And that one hasn’t been touched by human hands?”

    Me: “…I’m pretty sure it has been touched, but it’s still shrink wrapped.”

    Customer: “No, that won’t do. Are you sure you don’t have another copy that hasn’t been touched?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m pretty sure all of our books have been touched by human hands.”

    Customer: “Darn. Well, call me if you get an untouched copy.” *leaves without giving me a phone number*

    It’s Not The Book That’s Bad For Society

    | NE, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (As I’m processing a return, the customer leans forward and begins talking quietly to me.)

    Customer: “So, are there books that your store won’t sell?”

    Me: *confused* “Well, if the book is rare or very old we sometimes can’t stock them.”

    Customer: “No, like, are there books you won’t sell because the government thinks they’re bad for society?”

    Me: “Um, I don’t think so…”

    Customer: “Do you have a list of the books that you won’t sell? Because the government doesn’t want you to?”

    Me: “…No.”

    Not Always Right: The Comic – The Land Of The Free To Be Who You Are

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Books & Reading, Comics, Comics Single, Not Always Right: The Comic
    Not Always Right: The Comic – The Land Of The Free To Be Who You Are

    The Land Of The Free To Be Who You Are

    | NY, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Family & Kids

    (Because of the recent ruling of same-sex marriage in America, for our book display, we put up a rainbow flag along with books featuring gay protagonists. This happens on the day we have story time.)

    Woman: *angrily* “Excuse me!”

    Coworker: “Yes, can I help you?

    Woman: *points to our display* “I can’t believe you put something like this up! There are CHILDREN around!”

    (Our display shows no pornographic material. My coworker, who is bi-sexual, is stunned into silence and is unable to say anything. This is when I step in.)

    Me: “Oh, my gosh, ma’am, you’re right! How can I be so inconsiderate?”

    Woman: *smiles smugly*

    Me: *I grab one of the books on display and swap it out with a children’s book featuring gay parents* “There! Now there’s something for everyone!”

    (The woman didn’t understand for a few seconds. When she realized what the book was about, she sneered and muttered about going to a different library. She left and my coworker was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down her face.)

    At Least It Rules Out ‘Twilight’

    | ID, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (I work at the reference desk, and I often help patrons find books. The following exchange happens one morning:)

    Patron: “Hi, I’m looking to see if you have a book.”

    Me: “I can help you, then! Can you give me the name of the book?”

    Patron: “I don’t remember it.”

    Me: “Well, do you remember the author’s name?”

    Patron: “No… but it was about vampires and it had the word ‘blood” in the title.”

    Me: “…That doesn’t narrow it down nearly as much as you think it does.”

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