July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

Look, But Don’t Touch Or Read

| Massachusetts, USA | Books & Reading

(A middle-aged man and woman walk into the small used bookshop. They look around at the shelvesof books, seemingly perplexed. After giving them a bit of time time, I check up on them.)

Me: “Hi! Let me know if I can help you with anything.”

Woman: What kind of place is this?

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Man: “What is this place?”

Me: *still confused* “It’s a bookstore.”

Woman: “So, all these books are are for sale?”

Me: “Yes they are!”

Man: “Oh…”

(They exchange looks and leave.)

Hair Asunder Down Under

| Melbourne, Australia | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque

(My hair is naturally a rather unusual color of red that naturally highlights due to a melanin imbalance. I am a male. A few months ago I shaved my head for charity. A male customer comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Oh my, you have such wonderful hair. May I touch it?”

Me: *laughing* “I hear that a lot. You should have seen it when I had it down to here…”

(I indicate my hip where my hair used to reach.)

Me: “I had to shave it all off, though.”

Customer: “Where I am from in Spain, it is very common for people to shave their bodies. No need to be ashamed!”

Me: “Oh, no…no! I mean my head hair went down to there.”

Customer: “Oh! It must have been beautiful! Still, you should consider shaving your body! Everybody on the beach likes it.” *winks at me and walks out*

Part Two, The Afterlife

| Virginia, USA | Books & Reading

(I’m helping a customer find “The Autobiography of Mark Twain”. As I hand it to her, she remarks on the size of the book.)

Me: “It’s hard to believe it’s only volume one, isn’t it?”

Customer: “It is?”

Me: “Yeah, see? Right under the title.”

Customer: “Oh, he must not have written the second one yet!”

I Can Almost Feel Edward’s Embrace

| Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “I want to know what romance books are good right now. I want a really good romance, since I’m going on vacation.”

Me: “Well, I don’t really read romance novels, but I can tell you what is popular. Have you read any Sherrilyn Kenyon?”

Customer: “What is it? Is it like vampires or something?”

Me: “It’s considered paranormal romance and is very popular.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want anything unrealistic.”

Me: “Well, then you probably don’t want a romance novel.”

Customer: “I want something realistic like Twilight. Do you have any books like that?”

OCD Is Under-appreciated

| Cambridge, MA, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “Your books are out of order.”

Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes people take books off the shelf then don’t put them back exactly where they were. Did you need help finding something?”

Customer: “No, the order’s just wrong.”

Me: “Okay, thanks for letting us know.”

Customer: “Would you like me to fix them for you?”

Me: “That’s really not necessary. Thank you, though.”

Customer: *pause* “Can I sort them for you?”

Me: “Um, if you really want to, I suppose.”

(To my surprise, the customer actually sorted everything!)

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