Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Two Thumbs Up
    (1,535 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    Lay Off On The Confundus Charm

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USAPittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Geeks Rule

    Me: “Good morning.”

    Customer: “What did you say?”

    Me: “Um, good morning?”

    Customer: “I’ll have you know that my morning was not at all good! I woke up to find out that Harry Potter isn’t real and I don’t think I can accept it yet.”

    (The customer starts to tear up so I offer her a napkin.)

    Customer: *gasps* “Is this my letter from Hogwarts?”

    Me: “No, it’s a napkin.”

    (She runs out of the store sobbing, leaving her “letter from Hogwarts” behind.)

    Homophones Are Never As Satisfying

    | Toronto, Canada | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any copies of Sexadon?”

    Me: “Do you mean Sex At Dawn? It’s a bestseller.”

    Customer: “No, I’m pretty sure the one I want is titled Sexadon. You know, like the dinosaur of sex?”

    (For the heck of it, I double-check our inventory, the Books In Print index, and all the Amazons. There is no book called Sexadon.)

    Customer: *disappointed* “Man, I really thought that was the title.”

    (In the end, he bought Sex At Dawn, but clearly wasn’t happy about it!)

    Related:
    Of All The Moments For Freud To Slip

    Intelligently Unavailable

    | Cambridge, England, UK | Books & Reading

    Customer: “Hi, I would like to order a copy of [book] please.”

    Me: *searches computer* “Sorry, sir, it looks like that book is out of print.”

    Customer: “I know that. I want you to order me a copy.”

    Me: “I can’t, sir. It’s out of print. They aren’t printing anymore copies.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, your colleague already told me that. I just thought you looked smarter, so you could probably get it for me.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “So you can’t get it for me then?”

    Me: “No.”

    Bedtime Vs. Lifetime Stories

    , | California, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (Note: I’m on the phone with a customer, who is asking if we have a certain book available.)

    Me: “We do have that book. Would you like to order a copy?”

    Caller: “I don’t have time to wait for the mail. Can you just read it to me?”

    Me: “Read you the book? It’s over 600 pages.”

    Caller: “That’s okay. I have time!”

    Do-It-Yourself Rewards Club

    | California, USA | Books & Reading

    Caller: “I need you to send me a few books.”

    Me: “Sure, which books…”

    (I take the names of about ten products and the shipping address.)

    Me: “Alright, and what kind of credit card will you be using today?”

    Caller: “Credit card? You’re not seriously going to charge me for all this?”

    Me: “Well–”

    Caller: “Look, I spend a lot of money with you people. The least you can do is ship me some free stuff every now and then! Just write it off on your taxes next year!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that–”

    Caller: “Never mind. Cancel the order!”


    Page 18/30First...1617181920...Last