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    Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 6

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Books & Reading

    (I work in the large children’s section of a popular independent bookstore in our area.)

    Customer: “Do you guys carry those train wreck books?”

    Me: “Hmmm, I’m not familiar with anything like that. Is it a series, or maybe something from non-fiction?”

    Customer: “Yeah, It’s a series. The Trainwreck Kids!”

    (A light bulb goes on in my head.)

    Me: “Oh, wait, do you mean The Boxcar Children?”

    Customer: *blushes and starts to laugh* “Yeah, that’s it!”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    You Got The Wrong(est) Lover

    | Medford, MA, USA | Books & Reading

    (I work at a bookstore. It’s well known at work that my voice resembles my manager’s voice.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore], this is–”

    Caller: “Hey, you little vixen, when are you coming home? I’ve got a bottle of champagne–”

    Me: “Um, wait, I–”

    Caller: “Ooh, I’m gonna–”

    Me: *turning beet red* “Nancy! Your husband is on the phone!”

    Related:
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number

    Before Pride, But After Prejudice

    | Orem, UT, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

    Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

    (I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

    Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

    Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”

    Mavis Beacon’s Cousin Or Something

    | New York, NY, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “I’m looking for this foreign language program my friend has, but I can’t remember the name of it.”

    Me: “Okay, well, was it a book or was it for the computer?”

    Customer: “It goes on the computer. I think it was called…Susan?”

    Me: “Susan? I can’t say I’ve heard of it.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m sure you have. It’s very famous! I just can’t remember her last name. It’s her first and last name. Can you look it up?”

    (I bring her to the computer and try to pull up the name of the program, but the computer can’t find anything.)

    Customer: “Maybe it’s not Susan. It’s definitely a woman’s name, though.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t find it. Let me show you where all the computer programs like that are, though. Maybe it’ll jog your memory.”

    (I walk her over educational computer program area.)

    Customer: “Oh, I see it! Rosetta Stone! I knew it was a woman’s name.”

    One Man In His Time Drinks Many Cups

    | New York, NY, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “Can you help me find a book?”

    Me: “Sure! What’s it called?”

    Customer: “It’s Romeo and Juliet, but it’s not by William Shakespeare.”

    Me: “Oh! I actually don’t know any other books or plays with that title. Let’s look it up.”

    Customer: “Hold on, I have the author’s name somewhere.”

    (She digs through her purse and hands me a sheet of paper that says ROMEO AND JULIET (Folger Shakespeare) on it.)

    Customer: “It’s like his grandson or something.”

    Me: “Sorry, what?”

    Customer: “Folger Shakespeare. It’s William Shakespeare’s grandson…or his nephew. He wrote a different version of the play, I guess.”

    Me: “Folger Shakespeare actually just refers to the Folger Library version of that play. It’s still by William Shakespeare.”

    Customer: “No, it’s his relative! It’s a re-write of the play. I’m a theater student, just trust me on this.”

    Me: “Okay. Let me take you over to our Shakespeare section.”

    (We walk over to where his entire collection of plays is. It’s full of many different editions.)

    Customer: “Wow, he came from a really talented family! Look at all these Shakespeares! So, where’s this Folger guy?”

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