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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    Hair Asunder Down Under

    | Melbourne, Australia | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque

    (My hair is naturally a rather unusual color of red that naturally highlights due to a melanin imbalance. I am a male. A few months ago I shaved my head for charity. A male customer comes to the counter.)

    Customer: “Oh my, you have such wonderful hair. May I touch it?”

    Me: *laughing* “I hear that a lot. You should have seen it when I had it down to here…”

    (I indicate my hip where my hair used to reach.)

    Me: “I had to shave it all off, though.”

    Customer: “Where I am from in Spain, it is very common for people to shave their bodies. No need to be ashamed!”

    Me: “Oh, no…no! I mean my head hair went down to there.”

    Customer: “Oh! It must have been beautiful! Still, you should consider shaving your body! Everybody on the beach likes it.” *winks at me and walks out*

    Part Two, The Afterlife

    | Virginia, USA | Books & Reading

    (I’m helping a customer find “The Autobiography of Mark Twain”. As I hand it to her, she remarks on the size of the book.)

    Me: “It’s hard to believe it’s only volume one, isn’t it?”

    Customer: “It is?”

    Me: “Yeah, see? Right under the title.”

    Customer: “Oh, he must not have written the second one yet!”

    I Can Almost Feel Edward’s Embrace

    | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “I want to know what romance books are good right now. I want a really good romance, since I’m going on vacation.”

    Me: “Well, I don’t really read romance novels, but I can tell you what is popular. Have you read any Sherrilyn Kenyon?”

    Customer: “What is it? Is it like vampires or something?”

    Me: “It’s considered paranormal romance and is very popular.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want anything unrealistic.”

    Me: “Well, then you probably don’t want a romance novel.”

    Customer: “I want something realistic like Twilight. Do you have any books like that?”

    OCD Is Under-appreciated

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “Your books are out of order.”

    Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes people take books off the shelf then don’t put them back exactly where they were. Did you need help finding something?”

    Customer: “No, the order’s just wrong.”

    Me: “Okay, thanks for letting us know.”

    Customer: “Would you like me to fix them for you?”

    Me: “That’s really not necessary. Thank you, though.”

    Customer: *pause* “Can I sort them for you?”

    Me: “Um, if you really want to, I suppose.”

    (To my surprise, the customer actually sorted everything!)

    And The Egg Laid The Chicken

    | Cleveland, MS, USA | Books & Reading

    (A customer approaches me waving a copy of “The Help” in my face.)

    Customer: “Is this book based off that movie that just came out?”

    Me: “I think the book came out first, but–”

    Customer: “Yeah, I just saw the movie! I didn’t think the book would come out so fast!”

    Me: “But–”

    Customer: “I don’t know if I should even bother. The book is never quite as good, anyway!”


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