Category: Books & Reading

Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

Doesn’t Work Its Magic On Some Customers

| San Diego, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Religion

(An adult shopping for her child picks up a book from the ‘Magic: The Gathering franchise’.)

Me: “Oh, that’s a great one, especially if you play the card game.”

Patron: *looking at the cover* “This art is really cool. What’s it about?”

Me: “That one is about a couple of mages who are working on a inter-dimensional teleporter, and some of the politics surrounding the mage’s school they work at.”

Patron: “Is it… you know… violent?”

Me: “A bit. Nothing you won’t see in any modern action movie though. I’d rate it PG.”

Patron: “Oh, awesome. I’ll take the whole series.”

(We have 20 books in the franchise.)

Me: “Great! So, is your kid into fantasy and magic and such? We have lots of—”

Patron: *gasps* “MAGIC?!”

Me: “… Yeah?”

Patron: “You mean… like WITCHCRAFT?!” *crosses herself and runs out*

Those Books Can Be Killer To Finish

| KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Books & Reading, History

(I’m the customer in this situation:)

Me: “I’m looking for a copy of Les Mis and I found several different copies from different publishers. What do you recommend?”

Staff Member: “Well, it depends. Do you want a smaller-size copy that’d fit in your purse so you can take it anywhere?”

Me: “Well… the print in those can get pretty tiny… Actually, I’m looking for a book hefty enough to kill someone with.”

Staff Member: “…”

Me: “Sorry.”

Staff Member: “In that case, I suggest Tolstoy or Proust.”

Keeping It One Place Is EXACTLY What A Store Does

| Sault Ste. Marie, MI, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

Customer: “Where are your Jean Auel books?”

Me: “Oh, those are in historical fiction, the next aisle over.”

Customer: “Ugh, why can’t you put everything in the same place so I don’t have to walk?”

Lost In Holy Translation

| Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Religion

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, do you have The Bible?”

Me: “Yeah, heaps. Let me—”

Customer: “No.” *looking at phone* “I need The Bible by the author… King James!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Do you have it?”

Me: “Sure…”

All Men Must Serve

| NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Language & Words

(I am the librarian.)

Patron: “Do you have any books on Japanese architecture? I play the game Minecraft and we’re building Westeros. You know, Game of Thrones? Part of it is going to be Japanese themed.”

Librarian: “I think we do. Let me look…” *searches the catalog* “Yup, there are some e-books you can get by clicking the links here, or there should be a couple upstairs. Are you able to find things by call number?”

Patron: “Yeah, I should be able to find it. Thanks!”

Librarian: “You’re welcome! Valar Morghulis!”

Patron: “Yeah.” *starts to walk away, but stops suddenly and turns around* “Wait, did you just…”

Librarian: “Yeah, I really did.”

Patron: “That’s awesome! Valar Dohaeris!”

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