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    Category: Books & Reading

    Caused by stupid customers who know how to read (and often those who don’t!), feel for the poor librarians or book store clerks who are often tasked with finding a book solely by the color of its cover.

    Only Has Egg On Her Face

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (The husband of a couple has come to collect a menu about an hour before they would like to eat because his wife has difficulty making decisions. Our menu for cooked items is very limited and has only a full English breakfast, a vegetarian English cooked breakfast, smoked haddock, smoked salmon, and kippers available. The couple come in for breakfast, having studied the menu.)

    Wife: “Do you do eggs benedict?”

    Closing Time Is Not In Their Books

    | Denver, CO, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling the Student Center. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: *sighs* “When the h*** does the bookstore close?”

    Me: “Let”s see… The bookstore closes at 5:00 pm, sir.”

    Customer: “Then why the h*** didn’t they pick up their phone?! I’ve called four times!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is now 5:47, so the bookstore has been closed for nearly 50 minutes. Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “Well, why the f*** aren’t they open until 6:30?! This is bull-s***!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I believe the bookstore has shortened store hours. They will resume normal hours in September. I apologize if this has caused any inconvenience.”

    Customer: *breathing heavily and getting worked up* “Well, transfer me to the manager. Jesus Christ!”

    Me: “Upon looking online, sir, I see that the manager does not have a direct line. I am sorry, you will have to call the bookstore during normal business hours.”

    Customer: “WELL, THE WEBSITE IS WRONG!” *hangs up*

    Not Very Closed Minded

    | CA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (It is 20 minutes after closing, and I am helping my coworker count the drawers. The phone rings, and typically, by protocol, we do not answer if it is the local area code. However, the area code for this number matches head office’s, so we decide to pick it up if they try calling again. Sure enough, the phone rings a second time with the same number. My coworker picks it up and relays the rest of the conversation to me afterward.)

    Coworker: “[Bookstore], [City].”

    Customer: “Hi, are you open?”

    Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we closed a half hour ago.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, when are you open?”

    Coworker: “10 am.”

    Customer: “Okay… Can I ask you a question about a book?”

    Coworker: “…10 am.”

    (He hangs up.)

    Coworker: “Next time, I’ll ask them to hold and then pick up the phone at 10 am tomorrow and say, ‘Okay, I can take your question now.’ That’ll show ‘em.”

    Decisions Derisions

    | Malaysia | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a remainder bookstore. We have a notorious customer who comes in few minutes before closing to browse books. She doesn’t buy them. She reserves her browses for months and pays for them even later.)

    Customer: “Since you released my reservations, I want you to find my books again. I am buying them today.”

    Supervisor: “Sure, why not. After all, we are only closing in two minutes.”

    Customer: “Oh, two minutes? Then make it quick!”

    Supervisor: *relentlessly fulfills her terrible demands, and getting angrier by the moment* “Would you kindly make your purchases now? We are way past closing time.”

    Customer: *suddenly breathes heavily, tearing up and her arms were flailing* “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DECIDE NOW? I AM YOUR CUSTOMER!” *proceeded to run around the store*

    Supervisor: “Miss, please! We will reserve your books and you can come tomorrow.”

    Customer: “I can’t come tomorrow! I am very busy! I have a meeting tomorrow and I have to cook for the kids!”

    Supervisor: “You can come after your working hours.”

    Customer: “No! You can’t make me decide! Don’t do this to me! You can’t make me decide!”

    Toying With The Books

    | Lithuania | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (We close at 3 pm on Saturdays. There’s a small supermarket next door. It’s Saturday, 2:55 pm. A customer walks in.)

    Customer: “Hello, I need some help. A friend invited me over to her house, and she has a small child. She told me not to get him anything, but I really think I should. I think I could get a book or a toy.”

    (I proceed to show him some nice children’s books, but he’s awfully indecisive and takes a long time deliberating over each one of them. He also wants it super cheap, but good. It’s now 3:10.)

    Customer: “I don’t know. This is so hard! Maybe I should get him a toy instead.”

    Me: “Well, a toy is also a good option. I have to warn you, though, that they usually come more expensive than books.”

    Customer: “You know what? I think I’ll go to [Supermarket] and look at some toys. If I don’t find what I like, I’ll come back here.”

    Me: “If you decided to get a toy, that’s fine, but we’re closing. You won’t be able to come back if you change your mind.”

    Customer: “No, I’ll go to the supermarket. I’ll come back later.”

    Me: “Sir, we’re closing. In fact, we’ve been closed for 10 minutes already.”

    (He appeared not to hear a thing I said and walked out of the store. I closed the store. I left some 10 minutes later, and on my way to the bus stop walked past the front doors. There was the same customer, banging on the locked door, with the CLOSED sign on it and the lights out inside, yelling to be let in!)

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