Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Making A Mute Point
    (2,397 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    How Berry Rude Of You

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’m straightening things in the store and I have just finished an aisle. As I walk into the next aisle, which contains candles, I see a customer looking at the candles. He looks very angry and makes a strange face when he sees me walking towards him.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “You don’t have mulberry. That’s rude!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You should be!” *stomps out of the aisle*

    Used And Abused

    | Canada | Bizarre, Top

    (I work as a cashier at a well known retail store. Sometimes we get customers who take “customer is always right” to a whole new level.)

    Me: “So, how did you find everything today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Terrible. I would like to return this bra I purchased recently. It just doesn’t fit right.”

    Me: “Alright then, I just need your receipt and the item.”

    (The customer hands items over and I look over the receipt. Note, our company has a quite a long term for returns and exchanges, but this customer is way past that point.)

    Me: “Uh, ma’am, I’m sorry but you’ve exceeded our 90 day returns and exchange policy. I cannot give you a refund for this item.”

    Customer: *outraged* “What?! I bought this just last week! You people sized me wrong! It doesn’t fit me and I refuse to wear a bra that doesn’t fit me properly! I am the customer and you have to do what I say!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can give you a store credit for it. I just need to examine the bra.”

    (I take out the clearly used bra and look it over.)

    Me: “Okay, if you can just give me a second, I need my manager to verify this for me.”

    Customer: “If you must.”

    (I go get my manager and tell her the situation. Normally we do not accept refunds on items that have been used, especially if they are past the 90 days term.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept this item to be returned. It’s clearly been worn and it’s certainly past your exchange and return period.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Did she tell you that? She’s lying. I bought this last week and I never wore it! It doesn’t fit right! I am the customer! Do as I say or I’ll have my lawyer come in and have you both prostituted!”

    Liza’s Pigment-less Revenge

    | Connecticut, USA | Bizarre

    (An elderly customer in her 90′s approaches the till with a cartload of items.)

    Customer: “So, have you heard about the albino?”

    (She says this several times. As this was around the time Bin Laden was killed, I presume this is who she is referring to when she says “the albino”.)

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “Oh, it turns out he’s not dead. They shot him in the head and dumped him over the side, but he’s still alive, they say! He’s going to destroy the U.S. with his weather controlling lasers!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “Oh, we’ve never had such bad weather as this. It must be those lasers of his. He wants to destroy us, you know.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: *writing out a check* “My mother was Judy Garland, you know!”

    (At this point, the customer starts singing “Over The Rainbow”.)

    Customer: “I’m best friends with president Obama. Oh, my father was furious when I voted democrat. ‘You’re a republican!’ he yelled at me!” *leaves the store*

    Be Sure To Ask For Frickin Laser Beams

    | Lower Saxony, Germany | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I’m refilling a bunch of buckets with pet food when a customer approaches. He’s dressed entirely in black, has long hair, and an intimidatingly large beard. I have previously seen him staring at snakes for a while.)

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering, which pet would you recommend for an evil overlord?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You know, for the aspiring world dominator. I want something that looks evil and intimidating…something that can tear my enemies to shreds!”

    Me: “Uh…I’m sorry, sir, the most vile animals we have would be those kittens over there and I don’t think they’re quite big enough to kill someone.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “What about sharks?”

    Me: “Nope, sorry. We don’t have the space for such a big aquarium in here.”

    Customer: “Well, d***. I don’t suppose you have lions or siberian tigers, then?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Customer: “D*** right you’re afraid! When I’m your master, I’ll come back with an army of battlehamsters and feed you to them!”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “I’m looking forward to that.”

    (He leaves the shop, but only after buying three hamsters.)

    Worldly Spiritualism, Earthly Needs

    | Kansas, USA | Bizarre

    (I have been helping a 50-60 year old woman find a specific type of pen.)

    Customer: “You know why I came to this [store]? I came here because of your energy. I am your guardian angel.”

    Me: “Oh…um, okay.”

    Customer: “I sense great things from you. You are a fifth level Warrior goddess.”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “I’m serious! You are Cleopatra reincarnate. Prince Albert reincarnate. Queen Elizabeth, the good one. You have an amazing energy!”

    Me: “That’s pretty awesome.”

    Customer: “You are a warrior goddess! Since I am your guardian, I can give you guidance, is there anything you want to know?

    Me: “I’m really okay.”

    (She then takes her Native American style beaded necklace and puts it on my forehead.)

    Customer: “You are now blessed!”

    Me: “Thank you. Do you need anything else?”

    Customer: “Where are the padlocks?”


    Page 96/110First...9495969798...Last