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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Light On The Brain Cells

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, School

    (I am working in the office supplies section in late July.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have any more of these pencil boxes?”

    Me: “Right over here.” *points*

    Customer: “Great. I need 29 more. I’m a first grade teacher.”

    Me: “That’s nice of you.”

    Customer: “There’s only five left in the blue.”

    Me: “I apologize, but we do have 20 black ones left. Except for the color, they are identical.”

    Customer: “I can’t get black for first graders. It will scare them.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, you can try the back to school area, but I doubt they’ll have more than one or two blue left. You’ll have to keep coming back throughout the summer to get 29 more in the blue.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you.” *scoots off to school section*

    (Not 15 minutes later, the customer is back putting black cases in her cart.)

    Me: “I see you decided to get the black ones after all; excellent choice.”

    Customer: “I know. Now I have to cover them in stickers so the children won’t be scared!”

    Barking Mad

    | NYC, NY, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (An unshaven dirty-looking man carrying a large sack comes running into the main pet room.)

    Man: *shouting* “It’s almost Christmas, motherf***ers! And you know what that means!”

    Manager: “Uh, Jesus?”

    Man: “It’s time for presents, b****!”

    Manager: “Can I, uh…”

    Man: “I regret that I have but one bag of bones for the puppies! I regret that I have but one bag of tuna for the kittens! I regret that I have but one life to give to these animals!”

    (He drops the bag and runs out.)

    Manager: “Well, the bag is full of bones and tuna, but I don’t think I can accept food like this. Please wait just a minute; I have to call my boss.”

    Manager: *phone* “Yeah, hi. A crazy man just ran in with a bag of… yeah… and then he said that he regrets… oh, really? Every year? Okay, thanks.”

    (He hangs up, tidies up the food, and carries it into the back room.)

    Manager: “Apparently that was [local celebrity's] nephew, and he does that every year.”

    Se Habla Anguish

    | USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (I work on the Spanish-speaking line at a call center. After 3 minutes of conversation in Spanish with a caller…)

    Caller: “Thanks for the help, but can I give you some constructive criticism?”

    Me: “I welcome it.”

    Caller: “Next time I call the Spanish line, I want to talk in Spanish. So, if you talk to me again, do it in Spanish!”

    Me: “We’ve been talking in Spanish for four minutes.”

    Caller: *in Spanish* “Don’t lie! I’m not speaking Spanish! You’re not speaking Spanish! Speak Spanish next time!”

    Me: “Que le vaya bien.”

    Taking A Holiday From Reason

    , | Fast Food, RestaurantMT, USA | Bizarre, Holidays

    (I am working the day before Christmas Eve. Our management has been pressing us to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so that people don’t get offended. However, sometimes I would slip up and say ‘Merry Christmas’ because of habit. I am also Wiccan, and therefore do not follow Christian practices.)

    Me: “Here is your order! Have a nice day, and Merry Christmas!”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Um… here is your order?”

    Customer: “No, what you just said. You just wished me a Merry Christmas.”

    Me: “Yes… yes I did?”

    Customer: “How dare you! What if I didn’t believe in Christ! Do you know how offensive that would have been?! What if I was Jewish or Atheist?! You have really offended me! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I do apologize if I offended you. However, I don’t believe in Christ. I’m Wiccan. But I still celebrate Christmas because it’s a beautiful family holiday.”

    (The customer goes quiet for a moment. All of a sudden she starts yelling.)

    Customer: “How can you not believe in Christ?! He died for your sins on the cross! Do you have any idea what Christmas is about! It’s not about family; it is about the birth of Jesus! How dare you! I will never eat here again!”

    Super-flu-ous Advice

    | AB, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (It’s currently flu season, and we are offering flu shots.)

    Me: “Alright, sir. We got you all set. Have you gotten your flu shot yet?”

    Customer: “Ah, no. I don’t get a flu shot. I don’t get the flu, sweetie.”

    Me: “Wow, you must be lucky.”

    Customer: “You want to know my secret, dear?”

    Me: “What’s your secret, sir?”

    Customer: *leans in close* “You see now, chickens, cows, pigs: they get the flu. So, if you don’t eat them, you don’t get the flu! You remember that now!”

    Me: “Um, okay, sir. I will. Have a nice day.”

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