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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Barking Mad

    | NYC, NY, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (An unshaven dirty-looking man carrying a large sack comes running into the main pet room.)

    Man: *shouting* “It’s almost Christmas, motherf***ers! And you know what that means!”

    Manager: “Uh, Jesus?”

    Man: “It’s time for presents, b****!”

    Manager: “Can I, uh…”

    Man: “I regret that I have but one bag of bones for the puppies! I regret that I have but one bag of tuna for the kittens! I regret that I have but one life to give to these animals!”

    (He drops the bag and runs out.)

    Manager: “Well, the bag is full of bones and tuna, but I don’t think I can accept food like this. Please wait just a minute; I have to call my boss.”

    Manager: *phone* “Yeah, hi. A crazy man just ran in with a bag of… yeah… and then he said that he regrets… oh, really? Every year? Okay, thanks.”

    (He hangs up, tidies up the food, and carries it into the back room.)

    Manager: “Apparently that was [local celebrity's] nephew, and he does that every year.”

    Se Habla Anguish

    | USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (I work on the Spanish-speaking line at a call center. After 3 minutes of conversation in Spanish with a caller…)

    Caller: “Thanks for the help, but can I give you some constructive criticism?”

    Me: “I welcome it.”

    Caller: “Next time I call the Spanish line, I want to talk in Spanish. So, if you talk to me again, do it in Spanish!”

    Me: “We’ve been talking in Spanish for four minutes.”

    Caller: *in Spanish* “Don’t lie! I’m not speaking Spanish! You’re not speaking Spanish! Speak Spanish next time!”

    Me: “Que le vaya bien.”

    Taking A Holiday From Reason

    , | Fast Food, RestaurantMT, USA | Bizarre, Holidays

    (I am working the day before Christmas Eve. Our management has been pressing us to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so that people don’t get offended. However, sometimes I would slip up and say ‘Merry Christmas’ because of habit. I am also Wiccan, and therefore do not follow Christian practices.)

    Me: “Here is your order! Have a nice day, and Merry Christmas!”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Um… here is your order?”

    Customer: “No, what you just said. You just wished me a Merry Christmas.”

    Me: “Yes… yes I did?”

    Customer: “How dare you! What if I didn’t believe in Christ! Do you know how offensive that would have been?! What if I was Jewish or Atheist?! You have really offended me! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I do apologize if I offended you. However, I don’t believe in Christ. I’m Wiccan. But I still celebrate Christmas because it’s a beautiful family holiday.”

    (The customer goes quiet for a moment. All of a sudden she starts yelling.)

    Customer: “How can you not believe in Christ?! He died for your sins on the cross! Do you have any idea what Christmas is about! It’s not about family; it is about the birth of Jesus! How dare you! I will never eat here again!”

    Super-flu-ous Advice

    | AB, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (It’s currently flu season, and we are offering flu shots.)

    Me: “Alright, sir. We got you all set. Have you gotten your flu shot yet?”

    Customer: “Ah, no. I don’t get a flu shot. I don’t get the flu, sweetie.”

    Me: “Wow, you must be lucky.”

    Customer: “You want to know my secret, dear?”

    Me: “What’s your secret, sir?”

    Customer: *leans in close* “You see now, chickens, cows, pigs: they get the flu. So, if you don’t eat them, you don’t get the flu! You remember that now!”

    Me: “Um, okay, sir. I will. Have a nice day.”

    Not Sweet On The Potato

    , | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work for a small, privately-owned fast food chain, and we often receive many questions about our food and what goes into each item. I notice a man that ordered a few moments ago is lingering at the counter trying to look into the back. I excuse myself and approach him.)

    Me: “Did you have any questions, sir?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what do you put in your fries?”

    Me: “Our fries?”

    Customer: “Your fries. What do you put in them?”

    Me: “Well, we salt them, but that’s—”

    Customer: “No! What do you put in the fries?!”

    Me: “Um… potatoes?”

    Customer: “Do you have a manager? Where is your manager?!”

    (My manager comes up to the counter to see what is wrong.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    (By now, the customer is speaking loud enough for the whole dining room to hear him.)

    Customer: “What do you put in your fries?!”

    Manager: “…I’m sorry?”

    Me: “I think he wants to know what the ingredients for the fries are.”

    Customer: “Yes! What do you put in the fries?”

    Manager: “Potatoes.”

    (The customer points in a very angry manner toward the back of the kitchen where we cook the fries.)

    Customer: “No! I want to know it says on that box of what you put in your fries! Bring me that box, RIGHT NOW!”

    Manager: “Sir, I’m not allowed to bring it to the front. Now, please…”

    (After a minute or two of talking with my manager, the man seems to quiet down. I figure everything has been resolved and began chatting with the pair of customers from earlier. Soon, the irate customer receives his food and starts walking out of the store.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming to [restaurant].”

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO GIVE THIS TO MY SON EVEN IF YOU WON’T TELL ME WHAT’S IN IT!” *leaves*

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