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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 7

    | UK | Bigotry, Bizarre

    (I have just finished swimming at a public pool and am going to get changed. A woman in her early 40s is standing near my locker. I am wearing speedos, but I am 16 and slim so it doesn’t usually bother people.)

    Woman: “You shouldn’t be wearing those.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    (She approaches me and points at my speedos.)

    Woman: “You shouldn’t wear those trunks. They’re what gay people wear!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Woman: “Are you gay?”

    Me: “No, I’m not. I just find them comfortable to swim in.”

    Woman: “Well, if you’re not gay, you shouldn’t be wearing them!”

    (She then grabs the waistband of my speedos and tries to pull them down. Thankfully they’re tied tight. I slap her hands away.)

    Me: “Woah, what the h***?!”

    Woman: “You need to get them off or you’ll become gay!”

    (The sound of her screaming draws the attention of a lifeguard, who wanders over.)

    Lifeguard: “What’s going on here?”

    Woman: “Get away from me!”

    (The woman runs off, leaving me and the lifeguard to look at one another in confusion. I’ve now started swimming at a different pool!)

    Related:
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 6
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 5
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 4
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 3
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 2
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End

    Zord Almighty

    | IL, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a big Sentai fan (aka Power Rangers in English). I overhear this conversation at an anime convention I’m attending. NOTE: I am female while the attendees that are talking are male; also I am not from the same state that it’s being held at. We’re at a vendor booth who’s selling old toys—Power Rangers being one of them.)

    Attendee #1: “Man, Power Rangers is classic!”

    Attendee #2: “Have you watched any of the Japanese versions?”

    Attendee #1: “F*** no! The Japanese ones are stupid as f***! America started the whole trend in the first place!”

    Attendee #2: “Um… no they didn’t. ”

    Attendee #1: “Whatever, f***ing otaku.”

    Me: “He’s right.”

    Attendee #1: “Like you would know!”

    Me: “I would. Mighty Morphin’ is technically Zyuranger in Japan. The 16th series in the Super Sentai line.”

    Attendee #1: “Oh yeah? Then where are the other 15 then, Miss Thang?!”

    Me: “Never translated. But you can find most of them online.”

    Attendee #1: “Bulls***! You’re a girl and know nothing about Power Rangers!”

    Attendee #2: “More than you.” *to me* “Have you seen it in Japanese?”

    Me: “Not all of it… but I can see why it almost killed the franchise in Japan though.”

    Attendee #1: “HA! See! Japan sucks! They failed at translating it, so it sucked!”

    Me: “You do realize you’re at an ANIME CONVENTION? You know, Japanese animation and other media.”

    Attendee #1: “Some weebos came up with the term anime! It’s just awesome American cartoons that the f***ing Japanese stole from us!”

    Attendee #2: “Okay, dude… you’re crazy.”

    Me: “Yeah, you’re a moron.”

    (Attendee #2 and I walk away and end up talking a lot about the Sentai series and wound up being pen pals. As we are heading to our rooms, we’re surprised to see Attendee #1 getting escorted out of the convention by staff and security yelling obscene things. I walk up to a staff member of the con.)

    Me: “Um… can I ask what that was about?”

    Staff: “He cursed and threw something at one of our guests.”

    Attendee #2: “Who?”

    Staff: “Robert Axelrod.”

    Me: “The voice of Lord Zedd?!”

    Staff: “Yeah, he mentioned how Zedd was an original character for the American version, and it set him off!”

    Not Sure What Just Wrappened

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (An older customer approaches my counter and pays for a book.)

    Me: “Would you like me to wrap it up for you?”

    Customer: “Well, yes, if you really want to.”

    Me: “I would be glad to do that for you!” *wraps the book for him*

    Customer: “Thanks for the gift, dear!” *immediately unwraps the book and leaves the store*

    Moon Over My Chevy

    | Crossville, TN, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Transportation

    (I work as a waitress in a small restaurant where the owner is the cook. We see a van pull in, so the owner/cook goes to the kitchen to get things ready. However, after several minutes, no one comes inside so the owner comes back out.)

    Owner: “I guess they’re meeting someone.”

    Me: “Yeah… oh, wait. There’s a kid.”

    (I watch from behind the register as a young boy, probably 5 years old, walks in front of their van and just stands there, facing the car. I look away for a second to see if another has pulled in and when I look back I see the boy’s bare butt.)

    Me: “What is he doing? Changing clothes?”

    Owner: “No, I think he’s flashing us.”

    Me: “What?!” *I stand on my tippy toes to see more clearly* “Oh no! No!”

    Owner: “What? What’s he doing?”

    Me: “He’s PEEING on the hood of their car!”

    (Sure enough, instead of bring their kid inside to use the bathroom before they ordered food, the parents must have figured their hood was good enough. I’d hate to be their mechanic!)

    Freak For Yourself, Part 2

    | Texas, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (We have a regular who comes in for special sandwiches that are made on Mondays and Fridays only. When she comes in, it’s on a Thursday and the guy who makes them at the deli isn’t there. Instead, it’s a new guy who’s still being trained.)

    Customer: “Black and blue with horse sauce on the side.”

    (FYI, she wants pumpernickel bread with roast beef, bleu cheese and horseradish sauce on the side.)

    New Employee: “Uh, sorry? I don’t know what that is.”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I want the black and blue with the horse sauce on the side.

    New Employee: “Let me get someone else. I’m new, so I don’t know what that is.”

    Customer: “God, are you stupid? I want the black and blue with horse sauce on the side! Is that so freaking hard to understand?

    Other Employee: *overhears* “Yes, ma’am, I’ll get that made for you right now. He’s new, so he doesn’t know about our sandwich specialties.”

    (Upon hearing this, the customer suddenly turns sweet and smiles.)

    Customer: “OH! You’re new? How many days have you been working here?”

    New Employee: “Only two days, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, watch out for those crazies. You’re bound to get a few!”

    Related:
    Freak For Yourself

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