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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Taking The Hi Road

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (It’s been an unusually busy day, and my coworkers and I have been taking calls back to back for several hours.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of business]. This is [my name]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    (I wait a few seconds for her to tell me what she needs, but she remains silent.)

    Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    (I’m starting to think this is a prank call or the person is not all there.)

    Me: “Well, if there’s nothing I can help you with, I’m going to have to—”

    Caller: “It must take a lot of effort if you won’t even say ‘Hi’.”

    Me: “…Hello?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    Me: “Hi.”

    Caller: “It took way too much work for you to just say ‘Hi’ to me. I don’t want you to help me! Transfer me to someone else!”

    (She had probably waited at least 10 minutes before reaching me, and would have to wait at least 10 more minutes to speak to someone else. She was fine with that!)

    So-da Pressing

    , | WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer asks for the manager, and seems clearly upset.)

    Manager: “Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why are you using [soda brand] products? You know they have fetuses in them! How dare you use their product?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I can assure you there are no—”

    Customer: “YES THERE ARE! I want to know why you’re using their product when they have fetuses in them!”

    Manager: “Let me get the head manager.”

    (She comes back with the head manager.)

    Head manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t decide what kind of soda products we use. That is up to corporate to decide. It’s not our personal decision to choose a specific type of soda.”

    Customer: “But they have fetuses in them!”

    Head manager: “Well, if you would like to complain, I would go ahead and contact corporate about the soda. I’m sorry, but I can’t do more for you.”

    Customer: “Well, I can’t believe you would use [soda brand]! They have fetuses in them!”

    (I’ve dealt with some unique people at that place, but she takes the cake!)

    A Real Life Cookie Monster

    | New Zealand | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (A middle aged couple comes to my checkout.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you?”

    Wife: “Fine, thank you.”

    Husband: *grumbles*

    (I proceed to pack their shopping, when suddenly the male customer starts looking angry.)

    Husband: “I think you hate your job! I think you want to quit!”

    Me: “Um, no… I quite enjoy it.”

    Husband: “Well, you will get fired! You don’t show a proper respect!”

    Wife: “Henry, calm down.”

    Me: “I don’t know how I offended you, sir.”

    Husband: “No, not to me! Show proper respect to those biscuits!”

    Light On The Brain Cells

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, School

    (I am working in the office supplies section in late July.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have any more of these pencil boxes?”

    Me: “Right over here.” *points*

    Customer: “Great. I need 29 more. I’m a first grade teacher.”

    Me: “That’s nice of you.”

    Customer: “There’s only five left in the blue.”

    Me: “I apologize, but we do have 20 black ones left. Except for the color, they are identical.”

    Customer: “I can’t get black for first graders. It will scare them.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, you can try the back to school area, but I doubt they’ll have more than one or two blue left. You’ll have to keep coming back throughout the summer to get 29 more in the blue.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you.” *scoots off to school section*

    (Not 15 minutes later, the customer is back putting black cases in her cart.)

    Me: “I see you decided to get the black ones after all; excellent choice.”

    Customer: “I know. Now I have to cover them in stickers so the children won’t be scared!”

    Barking Mad

    | NYC, NY, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (An unshaven dirty-looking man carrying a large sack comes running into the main pet room.)

    Man: *shouting* “It’s almost Christmas, motherf***ers! And you know what that means!”

    Manager: “Uh, Jesus?”

    Man: “It’s time for presents, b****!”

    Manager: “Can I, uh…”

    Man: “I regret that I have but one bag of bones for the puppies! I regret that I have but one bag of tuna for the kittens! I regret that I have but one life to give to these animals!”

    (He drops the bag and runs out.)

    Manager: “Well, the bag is full of bones and tuna, but I don’t think I can accept food like this. Please wait just a minute; I have to call my boss.”

    Manager: *phone* “Yeah, hi. A crazy man just ran in with a bag of… yeah… and then he said that he regrets… oh, really? Every year? Okay, thanks.”

    (He hangs up, tidies up the food, and carries it into the back room.)

    Manager: “Apparently that was [local celebrity's] nephew, and he does that every year.”

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