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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    A Few Petals Short Of A Flower

    | USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work in Parks and Recreation, and our very public number means that we get a lot of interesting phone calls. An older woman calls me. Please note that it takes her at least a minute to say each sentence.)

    Me: “Parks and Rec, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to give you some ideas about going green.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

    Caller: “Petunias. The city needs more petunias. Petunias everywhere.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, that sounds like a great idea. Our horticulturists are always looking for feedback from citizens.”

    Caller: “I’m not done. I want every household to get a basket of petunias, and if they let them die we need to punish them.”

    Me: “Um—”

    Caller: “We can make the ethnics do it. It will create responsibility for the drug-heads and the gangster children.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, if I can just—”

    Caller: “The petunias need to be protected. We need to have petunia gardens everywhere to create responsibility! It wouldn’t be hard, just go down to the prisons and make the ethnics—”

    Me: “Okay! Thanks for calling! Goodbye!”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    | Pennsylvania, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working the cash register. I’m supposed to card anyone who looks under 30 when they are buying cigarettes.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, good. Can I have a box of [cigarette brand].”

    Me: “Sure! May I see your ID?” *the customer looks around 25 years old*

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “I need to see your ID. The law is becoming very strict about carding people and you look under 30.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see! You just want my ID to see my address so you can know where I live. You’re probably going to sneak into my house in the middle of the night and take these back from me. I’m 39. I shouldn’t be carded, so that’s the only reason I see!”

    Me: “Yep, you got me. That’ll be $6.99.”

    Customer: “I’ll be watching. don’t think I won’t be!”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 8
    No ID, No Idea, Part 7
    No ID, No Idea, Part 6
    No ID, No Idea, Part 5
    No ID, No Idea, Part 4
    No ID, No Idea, Part 3
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    Her Argument Is Dispiriting

    | Chicago Suburbs, IL, USA | Bizarre

    (I am an assistant manager, and I am handing over a particularly difficult customer to my manager. At our store, all refunds over a certain amount must be returned in the manner they were paid for.)

    Me: “This customer here would like a refund for these items, but she does not have her card with her. I explained that we have to refund the items to her card, but she keeps asking for store credit.”

    Manager: *to the customer* “She’s right, ma’am. All refunds must be returned in the form we received the payment. Do you have your card with you?”

    Customer: “I think it is rude that she is assuming that I am asking you to refund my items. She did not even let me ask you the question I wanted to ask!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry. What is your question?”

    Customer: “Can I exchange, not refund, these items for a store credit?”

    Manager: “That is still considered a refund, so no. I’m sorry we cannot help you unless you have your card.”

    Customer: “Well, I can’t take these groceries back now! They’re not the same as when I walked in!”

    Manager: “…Not the same?”

    Customer: “They are spiritually damaged, and I cannot eat them. That girl stole their spirit!”

    Urine Her Way

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A customer comes in and so far has been acting completely normal.) 

    Customer: “May I use your restroom?”

    Me: *gesturing to the sign right behind me* “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have a public restroom.”

    (Suddenly the customer grabs her crotch like a child, and starts hopping up and down. She tries to take off running to the gas station across the street, and I shout after her that they don’t have a public restroom either. I see her run out of the gas station, squat down next to the air pump, and begin peeing. She then returns to my store.)

    Customer: *sighs with relief* “When you have to go, you have to go.” *winks at me and walks out*

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 3

    | Canandaigua, NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (This happens as I’m shopping in a convenience store, and I just recently had my hair dyed purple. Another customer sees my hair and shouts to her daughter, pointing at my hair.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God! Look at that hair! That’s freaking amazing!”

    Me: “Oh… thank you.”

    Customer: *to her daughter* “You can never do that!”

    Daughter: “But, I didn’t even want to-—

    Customer: “No! I won’t let you look like a freak!” *turns to me* “I really love that hair!”
     
     Related:
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

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