Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

(Shop)lifted To A Less Aggressive State

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

(It is back when major video rental chains are still in business. We have a regular known shoplifter hit us and neighboring stores recently, and he walks in to my store. It is a Saturday night, and we are slammed, so before I can go and watch him, he is already trying to go out our entrance door, which lacks sensors.)

Me: “Sir, you need to go out the exit. That’s an entrance-only.”

Shoplifter: “I just have to run to my car and get my wallet…”

Me: “Okay, but you need—”

(And with that, he is gone out the door. Luckily, I’m not the only manager on tonight.)

Me: *to coworker* “I’m gonna take a smoke break real fast.”

(I proceed to walk out to the parking lot, which is huge because it is in a shopping center. I see the man and start following him.)

Me: “Man, it is a nice night tonight, don’t you think?”

(He doesn’t respond, but I continue to try and chat while following him. Suddenly he starts jogging, and I follow. He then starts throwing carts in my way as I run behind him. After another few minutes, he stops, turns around, and pulls back his fist! I am not a muscular or tall guy, and I can only react instinctively, which is to shrug my shoulders, look at him, and say:)

Me: “Really?”

Shoplifter: *taken aback* “Well, what do we do now?”

Me: “Well, if you drop all the stuff you have on you, I’ll be too busy picking it up to even see where you go…”

(By this point, his getaway car was honking and yelling obscenities. After about thirty seconds, he opened up his jacket and dropped around $400 worth of pre-rented games. True to my word, I took my time getting them as he took off. Later, I get scolded by my manager for going after them and potentially getting hurt, but she laughed about how my reaction was enough to shock the shoplifter out of his aggressive state. Needless to say, he never came back after that.)

Sharing Is Uncaring

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(It’s worth noting that I work in a very small store, with an ice cream counter that spans one end. It’s slow at the moment, so I’m wiping down the counter while my coworker is in back getting a head start on the dishes when a middle-aged woman comes in and gets an ice cream cone.)

Me: “All right, here you go. That’s $3.91″

Customer: “Thanks.” *hands me a five-dollar bill*

Me: “Okay, your change is $1.09, there you are!”

Customer: “Thanks.” *takes change*

(I think that’s the end of it, unless she drops some change into the communal tip jar. However, after pocketing the coins she leans over the counter and gives me a handshake, slipping the bill into my hand. I look at her, confused, as we have a very clearly marked tip jar a foot away.)

Customer: “I don’t believe in sharing.”

Me: “Um, thanks.”

(She walked out before I could say anything else. As I’m wondering what to do my coworker comes out of the doorway to the back, where he obviously saw everything.)

Coworker: “You handled that really well.”

Me: “Thanks. So should I just put this in the jar?”

Coworker: “No, that would be shared, and we can’t have that, now can we?”

The Cake Website Is A Lie

| Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work on the hands-on side of a small online sports gear store, packing and answering the phone. I overhear the following phone call on speaker.)

Coworker: “Hello, [Sports Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi. I haven’t actually looked at your website but I was wondering if you could help me; do you have any cake decorating supplies?”

Coworker: “Uh… no I’m afraid we don’t carry cake decorating gear. We mostly stock sports goods.”

Customer: *disappointed* “Oh… well, I don’t want that. Maybe I’ll check your website.” *click*

Coworker: *to me* “Cake decorating is a sport now?”

The Test Is Inconclusive

| Bergen, Norway | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as a headmaster and one day drive to the local mall during lunch. One of the teachers asks to ride with me as she has an errand to run. When we get to the mall we split up, and then we meet up at the car a little later to go back to the school. The teacher is nine months pregnant when this happens.)

Teacher: *suddenly laughs, apparently for no reason*

Me: “What?”

Teacher: “I just realized why the shop assistant at the chemist was looking at me as if I am completely nuts!”

Me: “Why?”

Teacher: “Well, one of the girls in my class was really worried that she might be pregnant, and I offered to get a pregnancy test for her. So there I came, waddling in with my huge belly, and I asked where the pregnancy tests were. The look the guy gave me was priceless!”

Changing The Meaty Subject

| IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the manager on duty on a hot day in July. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Your dumpster is a disgrace! It’s full of rotten meat! It smells terrible, and has maggots in it! Someone could get sick!”

Me: “Well, it’s been very hot out, and the meat department has been doing a lot of trimming lately. But I have to ask: what were you doing in our dumpster?”

Customer: “Don’t change the subject!” *storms out*

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