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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Nuts About Clams

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (An older gentlemen approaches me while I am stocking frozen meats.)

    Customer: “Where are the clams that are in the flyer?”

    Me: *slightly puzzled* “We haven’t had clams in this store in a long time, if ever.”

    Customer: “Well, I saw them in the flyer.”

    Me: “Do you have this flyer on you?”

    (I ask because half the time the customer produces a flyer from a completely different store.)

    Customer: “No, I don’t think so.”

    Me: “One sec, I’ll fetch the current one…”

    (A few moments later.)

    Me: “They aren’t in here, sir.”

    Customer: “Ah, there. That’s them!”

    (He points to a picture of pistachios. In all fairness, in this photograph, they do look a bit like small clams. Between the resolution of the image and perhaps the old man’s eyesight, it’s an understandable mistake.)

    Me: “Sir, those are pistachios.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Me: “…yeah.”

    Customer: “Well, do they taste like clams?”

    Going Gaga For Shoes

    , | ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A young woman comes bursting into the store, flustered. She runs around all the aisles, frantically, at least three times. I watch her and go to walk over to help her, but she beats me to it and runs straight up to me, panting, sweating, red-faced, and a look of stress in her face.)

    Customer: “DO YOU HAVE LADY GAGA’S SHOES?! I NEED THEM!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t even know where you could even buy Lady Gaga’s shoes to start with. We don’t sell them here though…”

    Customer: “UGH! Not good. Not good… I ABSOLUTELY NEED LADY GAGA’S SHOES RIGHT NOW!”

    (She then bolted out the door, as if she was running from a pack of lions. The other customers and I just stood there for a moment to take in what just happened.)

    There Is Mulch To Joke About

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier at a store that sells home improvement merchandise. I am working in the garden center. If the customer needs a large quantity of something they will pay for it first and pick it up in the parking lot where we keep a huge supply of mulch, soil, etc.)

    Customer: “Can I get 20 bags of mulch?”

    Me: *completely straight face* “No.”

    Customer: *dumbfounded look on his face* “Umm…”

    Coworker: “[My Name]!”

    Me: *with a huge smile on my face* “Of course you can!”

    (I ring the customer up and my coworker speaks to him.)

    Coworker: “Sorry about that, sir. She is mean to every 25th customer. Looks like you were the 25th.”

    (The customer paid and was chuckling and smiling as he walked out to his vehicle.)

    Exposed For What It Really Is

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I’m working the opening shift at a chain coffee shop. It’s six am and I’m prepping for the morning rush at the bar.)

    Female Customer: *quietly and embarrassed* “Hi. So, that man sitting outside by the window over there… I think he has his penis outside of his pants.”

    (I look over and it’s a regular customer who pops in throughout the day. I turn back to her.)

    Me: “Him, over there?”

    Female Customer: ” Yes. I don’t know if maybe a male employee can go check and see?”

    (I summon my male shift lead, who is confused at the accusation.)

    Me: “If it’s true, I don’t want to know that much about him. Will you take a peek so I can help this woman feel, you know, not sexually harassed?”

    (He reluctantly goes outside and talks to our regular and quickly heads back inside holding back a smile.)

    Shift Lead: “He’s holding his sunglasses case in his lap.”

    (The case was the exact same color as his skin tone. We told him about it later and all cracked up.)

    There Is No Calm Before The Storm

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (It is currently late at night, with a winter storm expected to come the following morning. I am running customer service when the phone rings and I answer it.)

    Me: “Hello, [Store] [Location] customer service desk. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’d just like to let you know that tomorrow morning is going to horrible and that all of the young people won’t be coming in. However, all of the elderly people that work will be, because they are the ones who really need the money. Bye!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: *click*

    (I put the phone back on the receiver and relay the comment to a manager.)

    Manager: “Oh my God, it’s not even tomorrow yet and they are ALREADY complaining!”

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