October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Will Find Himself Magically Arrested

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(I work as a call taker for a local police department. I overhear the following from a coworker speaking to a man who calls in a regular basis.)

Coworker: “Okay, John, I see that you were arrested a few days ago for filing a false report. Now, if there is no crime being committed this time, you will be in trouble again.”

(I tune my coworker out while working on gathering information for other calls until I hear this part.)

Coworker: “How was someone able to steal your wallet and keys in the middle of the night when those were inside the pillow you were sleeping on?” *pause* “How did they get in and get your stuff if you were sleeping on it?” *longer pause* “They have magical powers? Is that what you want me to tell the officers?”

(Later my coworker told everyone at that point, the caller had been silent for a little while, and then said he didn’t want to get in trouble.)

Coworker: “Okay, but you want me to send officers to you? And that’s what you want me to tell them? That someone stole your keys and wallet by using magical powers? All right. I will let them know.”

(It turns out that the caller had called in every day after he was arrested, reporting different matters. Those were handled as callback reports, which take a couple of days, so the police didn’t make the connection. No such luck this time!)

Next Time Will Nose Better

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body

(Due to my extreme social awkwardness, I am the bad customer in this story! I work in a call centre and am mentally programmed to use a certain phone manner. On this day, I am wandering along my local shopping strip when I decide I want to get my nose pierced. I walk into a tattoo parlour.)

Me: “Hi! I’m looking to get my nose pierced.”

Tattooist: “Oh, our piercer isn’t at work today, but she’ll be back tomorrow.”

Me: “Oh, that’s okay. Today is my only day off, but thank you for your help.”

(I walk outside and search for piercers on my smartphone. A location nearby shows up, and I call the number.)

Me: “Hi! I’m looking to make an appointment to get my nose pierced.”

Voice On The Phone: “Uh… our piercer isn’t working today.”

(I suddenly realise I’ve called the exact same shop I had just been into, and am now standing outside of in full view. I am so embarrassed that I panic and forget what to say.)

Me: “Oh… uh… thank you for calling! Goodbye!”

(I abruptly ended the call and turned to walk away, but accidentally made prolonged, awkward eye contact with the tattooist through the shop window before I finally left. At least I might have given him something to laugh about!)

Gunning For A Date

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I am female and have a love for outdoor activities. It is a few days away from Mother’s Day. I am walking a couple to their table and am chatting with them.)

Me: “So, do you have any fun plans for the weekend?”

Husband: “Yeah, I will be taking my wife fishing for her Mother’s Day present.”

Me: *excitedly* “Oh, really? That’s so cool!”

(The wife starts shaking her head.)

Husband: “Oh, I was just kidding. She doesn’t fish.”

Me: “Oh, well. you never know. For example, there may be women like me. If I had a significant other want to take me hunting for Mother’s Day, I would totally want to go. I figured that was the case.”

Husband: “You know, I have a son who is single and he LOVES to go hunting and shooting.”

Wife: “No, he doesn’t. What are you talking about?”

Husband: “No, he loves hunting.”

Wife: “He doesn’t even like guns!”

Husband: “Well, he will!”

Me: “…”

Trying To Go Dutch On The Danish

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a popular coffee chain that also sells baked treats. A very polite, very elderly man purchases a cheese Danish, leaving only one in the tray. The next customer, a young woman, buys the last cheese Danish. She gives me cash, and while I am counting it out, the old man comes up to the counter again. He points at the cheese Danish that the young woman is holding.)

Old Man: “Excuse me, young lady, that’s mine.”

Young Woman: “Oh…”

(She glances at me uncertainly, and I look around. I spot the old man’s cheese Danish on a table nearby.)

Me: “Sir, yours is right there.” *points*

(The old man turns and looks, and looks genuinely surprised to see the cheese Danish.)

Old Man: “Oh, my…”

Young Woman: “Dessert buddies!”

(She high fives him and hurries out of the shop, blushing.)

A Passport For Bad Behavior

| London, England, UK | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners

(I am working over the Christmas holidays in a very fancy shop, so much so that it is a pretty famous tourist destination. An American woman in her sixties comes in wearing a long black fur coat, fur hat, and various gold rings – the epitome of glamour. She starts looking at our most expensive leather wallets.)

Me: “Hi, are you looking for anything in particular?”

Customer: “I need a wallet for my husband.”

Me: “Any particular kind?”

Customer: “It has to be large enough to fit a passport. He has to carry it everywhere now because he can’t use his driving license as identification any more. The cops took it away when they found him doing 150 miles per hour on the highway.”

(She shakes her head, as if to say ‘what is he like?’, and wanders off.)

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