July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Your Tiredness Kept The Safe Safe

| Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

(I manage a pizza store, and go in at 10:30 pm to help close up. I am in my casual clothes and I’m completely exhausted. I go outside the store to use the bathroom when I am stopped by someone.)

Stranger: “Gimme the safe keys.”

Me: *groggy* “Safe keys?”

Stranger: “The f****** store safe keys!”

Me: “…safe keys?”

(The safe keys are in the store, but I am so tired I barely know my own name. Before the stranger can respond a coworker comes outside, and the stranger bolts.)

Coworker: “Who was that?”

Me: “That guy wanted safe keys… Wait, did that guy just kinda try to rob the store?”

(If the coworker hadn’t shown up, the stranger could have easily harmed me in my state. This is one of many reasons that you shouldn’t overwork your store managers!)

Fat Chance Of A Haunting

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work for a small family run jewelry store. We are fairly flexible with returns as long as no work was done on the item (i.e., sizing to finger, switching stones, etc). )

Customer: “I would like to return this ring I purchased.”

Me: “Let me look up your history. Your name?”

Customer: *gives name* “I can’t keep this ring.”

Me: “Okay. Unfortunately it was sized, so is non returnable. Is there anything wrong with the fit?”

Customer: “No, nothing wrong with the fit. I think it’s haunted.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I think it’s carrying a curse or is haunted. When I bought it, it was a larger size and my finger is much smaller. The person who owned it before must have died of heart disease and I might catch it.”

Me: “I can assure you, you won’t get heart disease from this ring.”

(She kept going on about how she couldn’t have that ring because it might cause her to gain weight like the previous owner. I reassured her over and over that rings can’t make you gain weight. To no avail we ended up taking the ring back and selling her a new ring with no fat history.)

‘X’ Marks The Spot-Box

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

(I’m working in a mall at a well-known video game store and I’ve been there for a few years. We have a policy that if someone buys a warranty for their system we will replace it, no questions asked.)

Customer: “You know the system warranty?”

Me: “Yep, covers everything, no questions asked.”

Customer: “No questions asked… Are you sure?”

Me: “Sure, that’s the policy.”

(Customer reaches into his bag and pulls out an Xbox with an axe embedded in it.)

Customer: “I’d like a replacement.”

Me: “How did that happen?”

Customer: “You said no questions.”

Me: “Uuuh… would you like to take back the axe?”

Customer: “No questions!”

(He proceeds to attempt to yank out the axe, but fails to do so.)

Customer: “New one?”

(I look at him incredulously.)

Me: “Yep”

(I replaced his Xbox. Later, I brought it up with a coworker from another store. He beat my story with a Dreamcast that he replaced that had bullet holes.)

Those Kids And Their Googles

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

(The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, circulation desk; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me what temperature I need to cook this turkey at?”

Me: “Ma’am, you realize this is a library, correct?”

Caller: “Yes, but can’t you use that Google thing the kids are talking about?”

Didn’t Eat From The Tree Of Knowledge

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’ve clocked out for the day and I’m picking up a few groceries before I leave. Even though I’m wearing a coat and nothing that would identify me as an employee, and pushing a half-filled shopping cart, a customer still stops me as I pass the produce section.)

Customer: “Hey, I know you work here. You need to help me!”

Me: “No, I’m shopp—”

Customer: “—It’s your apples! Are these the kind grown on trees, or were they made some other way?”

Me: “Trees…”

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