Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,193 thumbs up)
  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Idea Has No Silver Lining

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a jewelry store that makes it’s own jewelry. Because of this, we can do custom jobs and jewelry repair. We get some crazy requests, things from witchcraft to erotic.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’d like to get a custom piece made. I have the design and everything!”

    Me: “Alright. Can I see it?”

    (The customer hands me a large wingnut. The kind you buy in the hardware store for a quarter.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “I need about a dozen of these made, in silver!”

    Me: “You realize this isn’t very practical, and will be expensive, right?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! It’s a wonderful idea! That’s why I’m giving it to you! You can produce them, and you’ll make enough within a couple of months!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think that’s true.”

    Customer: “But I’m giving you the idea, and you can just pay me back by giving me a dozen of them!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll have to charge you about $100 to produce each one of these. I’m not giving you $1200 for this idea. I know it will not sell. If you want me to make them, I need to be paid, in cash, in full.”

    Customer: “It’s a great idea! You’ll be sorry you passed it up!”

    No Catches Get Pasteurize

    | WI, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (Our store sells pints of ice cream.)

    Customer: “I’ll take three pints of vanilla.”

    Me: “Well, we currently have a special running, so you can have four pints for the price of three. What would you like for your fourth pint?”

    Customer: “So if I get one more pint it won’t cost me any more money?”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t do deals. It’s obvious that if you buy something on sale it’s because the original price is already inflated. So I only buy things at regular price.”

    Me: “Umm, well it would be the same price, so it would be a better value to have four.”

    Customer: “Well, I know there’s some catch somewhere! Only give me three.”

    Me: “Umm, okay, as you wish.”

    Customer: “Good! I won’t have you ripping me off!”

    Aisle Be There For You

    | Marietta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (My friend and I are grocery shopping. We have brought a shopping-list, but we still miss a couple of things.)

    Friend: “Oh, darn! I forgot to get orange juice! You just wait here. Don’t move; I’ll be right back.”

    (She hurries back to the refrigerated section. I wait for a while, and realize that she has left me at a bit of a bottleneck, blocking traffic. I know she’s going to take a while to chose an OJ, so I decide to go and get one of the other things we are missing. I head down the aisles, looking at the labels for trash bags. There’s an employee standing at the end of an aisle.)

    Employee: “Hi, are you finding everything?”

    Me: “I’m looking for trash bags. Where will I find those?”

    Employee: “Oh, yeah, it’s right at the end of this aisle on the left.”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Employee: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “Actually, yes. So I’m helping my friend shop, and she told me to wait over there, but I’m going to get trash bags. In a little bit, she’s going to come around the corner and look lost, then annoyed, and then start searching aisles. Could you tell her where I went?”

    Employee: “Uh… Yeah, sure.”

    (A little bit later, my friend appears next to me with a look of confusion on her face.)

    Me: “You found me!”

    Friend: “Yeah… How did the employee know I was looking for you?”

    Jeepers Creepers

    | RetailOklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A customer approaches my register. I begin her transaction, as well as make small talk.)

    Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    Customer: “Do you have prosthetic eyes? My husband makes them and, yours just look so real!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. My eyes are real.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yep, my eyes are really real.”

    (She turns deep red, but tries to laugh it off. We finish her transaction, and she leaves very quickly.)

    Silent Running

    | Hampshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (A regular comes in every day for cigarettes. I am always a polite and friendly cashier, who asks how the customers are.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today?”

    Customer: “How are you today? How am I today? How am I today? Every day you ask this, and you really don’t care how I am, so in future don’t ask; just give me my cigarettes!”

    Me: “Oh, err… okay…”

    Customer: “That’s better. You remember that now!”

    Me: “I will…”

    (From that day on, every day when he comes and buys his cigarettes, everything is done in total silence.)

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