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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Taking A Holiday From Reason

    , | Fast Food, RestaurantMT, USA | Bizarre, Holidays

    (I am working the day before Christmas Eve. Our management has been pressing us to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so that people don’t get offended. However, sometimes I would slip up and say ‘Merry Christmas’ because of habit. I am also Wiccan, and therefore do not follow Christian practices.)

    Me: “Here is your order! Have a nice day, and Merry Christmas!”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Um… here is your order?”

    Customer: “No, what you just said. You just wished me a Merry Christmas.”

    Me: “Yes… yes I did?”

    Customer: “How dare you! What if I didn’t believe in Christ! Do you know how offensive that would have been?! What if I was Jewish or Atheist?! You have really offended me! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I do apologize if I offended you. However, I don’t believe in Christ. I’m Wiccan. But I still celebrate Christmas because it’s a beautiful family holiday.”

    (The customer goes quiet for a moment. All of a sudden she starts yelling.)

    Customer: “How can you not believe in Christ?! He died for your sins on the cross! Do you have any idea what Christmas is about! It’s not about family; it is about the birth of Jesus! How dare you! I will never eat here again!”

    Super-flu-ous Advice

    | AB, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (It’s currently flu season, and we are offering flu shots.)

    Me: “Alright, sir. We got you all set. Have you gotten your flu shot yet?”

    Customer: “Ah, no. I don’t get a flu shot. I don’t get the flu, sweetie.”

    Me: “Wow, you must be lucky.”

    Customer: “You want to know my secret, dear?”

    Me: “What’s your secret, sir?”

    Customer: *leans in close* “You see now, chickens, cows, pigs: they get the flu. So, if you don’t eat them, you don’t get the flu! You remember that now!”

    Me: “Um, okay, sir. I will. Have a nice day.”

    Not Sweet On The Potato

    , | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work for a small, privately-owned fast food chain, and we often receive many questions about our food and what goes into each item. I notice a man that ordered a few moments ago is lingering at the counter trying to look into the back. I excuse myself and approach him.)

    Me: “Did you have any questions, sir?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what do you put in your fries?”

    Me: “Our fries?”

    Customer: “Your fries. What do you put in them?”

    Me: “Well, we salt them, but that’s—”

    Customer: “No! What do you put in the fries?!”

    Me: “Um… potatoes?”

    Customer: “Do you have a manager? Where is your manager?!”

    (My manager comes up to the counter to see what is wrong.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    (By now, the customer is speaking loud enough for the whole dining room to hear him.)

    Customer: “What do you put in your fries?!”

    Manager: “…I’m sorry?”

    Me: “I think he wants to know what the ingredients for the fries are.”

    Customer: “Yes! What do you put in the fries?”

    Manager: “Potatoes.”

    (The customer points in a very angry manner toward the back of the kitchen where we cook the fries.)

    Customer: “No! I want to know it says on that box of what you put in your fries! Bring me that box, RIGHT NOW!”

    Manager: “Sir, I’m not allowed to bring it to the front. Now, please…”

    (After a minute or two of talking with my manager, the man seems to quiet down. I figure everything has been resolved and began chatting with the pair of customers from earlier. Soon, the irate customer receives his food and starts walking out of the store.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming to [restaurant].”


    For You, We’re Always Closed, Part 2

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (Our restaurant is, and always has been, closed on only two days a year: Thanksgiving and Christmas.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’d like to make reservations for Thanksgiving.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, we’re closed on Thanksgiving. Would you like a reservation for another day?”

    Caller: “But your website says you’re open.”

    Me: “Occasionally our website has tricky wording; perhaps it was another of our locations that’s decided to remain open for the holiday.”

    Caller: “No, it says you’re open.”

    Me: “I assure you, ma’am, we are closed on Thanksgiving.”

    Caller: “It says you’re open. I’d like to make a reservation for Thanksgiving.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we are only closed for Thanksgiving and Christmas, as it’s been for the past six years. I promise you, we are not open on Thanksgiving.”


    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what to tell you. We are closed on Thanksgiving. No one will be here to cook for you.”


    Me: *to my manager* “Well… that was fun.”

    For You, We’re Always Closed

    It’s Not Her Calling

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I am working when my phone rings. I pick it up on the second ring.)

    Me: “[Call center]. Mary speaking.”

    Caller: “Why did you call me?”

    Me: “…pardon, ma’am?”

    Caller: “WHY. DID. YOU. CALL. ME?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just answered the phone. You called me. Can I—”

    Caller: “No, I didn’t! I just picked up my phone and you were talking!”

    Me: “My phone rung and I answered it, ma’am. Is there anything that I can help you with?”

    Caller: “No! I don’t know you! Who are you?!”

    Me: “This is Mary from [call center].”

    Caller: “No! No! I don’t know any Mary and I don’t know any [call center]. Why did you call me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I did not call you. Were you intending to call someone else?”

    Caller: “I didn’t call anyone! You called me! I’m done with you!” *click*

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