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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Two Is The Moan-iest Number

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV

    (I am a cashier working at a large department store. A customer comes up to my register holding a jersey with a large ’2′ on it.)

    Customer: “Hey, I want one of these jerseys, but I want one with a ’1′ on it.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, you got this out of clearance, right? We don’t carry back stock for anything in clearance. If you didn’t see a ’1′ jersey while you were there, we probably don’t have one, sorry.”

    Customer: “Okay, but I want one with a ’1′ on it.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir; we don’t have one right now.”

    Customer: “I want a ’1′ jersey! It’s my birthday; I want to be number one, not two!”

    Me: “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know. Two, can be as bad as one. It’s the loneliest number since the number one.”

    Customer: “…okay.”

    (Surprisingly, after hearing this the customer buys the ’2′ jersey.)

    Manager: “Did that just happen?”

    Some People Can’t Handle Their Sugar

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am stocking coke in the aisle. A very perturbed customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Young man, my doctor said I can’t drink coke anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    (I continue stocking the coke.)

    Customer: “Young man, I just told you that I can’t drink this stuff.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Would you like me to help you find something else?”

    Customer: “I said I can’t drink this stuff!”

    (She grabs a two-liter bottle and throws it to the ground. She puts her hand into the shelf behind the product and starts walking down the aisle, scooping all the soda on the floor.)

    Customer: “I can’t drink coke! I can’t drink coke!”

    (She begins stomping on the cans and bottles and kicking them around. By the time she’s worn herself out, the floor is covered. The cans are spraying little jets of cola. She looks at me, then over my shoulder at the liquor dept.)

    Customer: “He said I can’t drink whiskey either!”

    (She starts to charge the liquor dept. Thankfully, that is when the security guard steps in front of her, takes her hand, and leads her out of the store.)

    Drastic Plastic

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A shopper walks by with a cart full of cups, plastic silverware, and paper plates.)

    Me: “Hey! How are you? Throwing a party?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I just don’t believe in washing dishes.”

    Needs To Chill Out

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (Our company takes calls from all over the world from customers wanting help with household appliance queries.)

    Me: “Welcome to the customer care centre. How may I help today?”

    (An American customer starts screaming.)

    Customer: “STOP WATCHING ME! BIG BROTHER IS INSIDE MY FRIDGE!”

    Me: “Why do you think that, ma’am?”

    Customer: “There’s this little blinking light and manic beeping coming from inside my fridge! Listen!”

    (I hear a clunking noise, and the customer’s voice gets very faint. A few moments pass; the customer puts the phone to her ear again.)

    Customer: “Did you hear that? I know someone is spying on me!!”

    Me: “What just happened, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I put ya’ll in the fridge so you could hear the noise, and see who’s spying on me!”

    Me: “Well, apart from being a little chilly I didn’t hear anything. How often does the beeping occur?”

    Customer: “When I have the door open! I can see the blinking light and the beeping is driving me nuts!”

    Me: “Ma’am? The fridge does this to alert you to the fact that the door has been open for too long. It is so the food is kept fresh. I promise you, there is no one watching you.”

    Customer: “Yes! There is someone! What are you going to do about it?”

    Me: “May I ask how much you purchased your fridge for?”

    Customer: “Around $1500. Why?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you don’t need to worry. There is no one inside your fridge watching you. We only supply the ones with robots inside for the military, and those fridges would set you back $5000! I promise you that if you shut your fridge door firmly when it starts to beep, you won’t have any more trouble.”

    (The customer breathes a sigh of relief.)

    Customer: “Whew! I thought I was going nuts! Thanks hon!”

    Bohemian Medicine

    | NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I work as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. There are about 10 people who have been waiting for at least 90 minutes. It’s very quiet. A young man mumbles something. Some people look his way, but other than that no one pays much attention to him. He then starts singing, a little louder…)

    Young Man: “Put a gun against his head…”

    (Some people chuckle.)

    Young Man: “Pulled my trigger…”

    (The young woman sitting across from him joins in.)

    Young Woman: “…now he’s dead.”

    Old Man: “Mama, life had just begun…”

    Young man: “But now I’ve gone and thrown it all awaaaay…”

    All Three: “Mama, oooooooh! Didn’t mean to make you cry!”

    Teenage Girl: “If I’m not back again this time tomorrow…”

    All: “…carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters!”

    (By now, everyone in the waiting room has joined in.)

    All: “Too late, my time has come! Send shivers down my spine, body’s achin’ all the time!”

    (They finish the refrain just as the doctor calls his next patient. Needless to say, that little impromptu performance really brightened my day!)

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