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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Just Bagging For Trouble

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at the box office of a cinema. A middle-aged lady approaches.)

    Customer: *politely* “One ticket for [film], please.”

    Me: “No problem!”

    (I print her ticket, but then realise I have accidentally printed the wrong performance time. She is holding out her hand expectantly.)

    Me: “My apologies, but I have accidentally printed the wrong ticket. Just give me a moment and I’ll have this fixed for you.”

    Customer: *with absolutely no warning and in a high pitched squeal* “HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!”

    (The customer then proceeds to whack me with her handbag and storm out of the lobby. My coworkers who witnessed it share the same bemused expression as I do. A few months pass and this same customer returns several times, all without incident. One evening she approaches my coworker.)

    Customer: “A ticket for [film], please.”

    Coworker: “Absolutely, I—”

    (He looks ups and sees who it is, panics slightly, causing his hand to spasm and press the wrong button. The wrong ticket comes out. The rest of his coworkers and I are watching intently.)

    Coworker: “I… I… I’m sorry but—”

    Customer: *again with zero warning* “SABOTAGE! WHY DO YOU SABOTAGE ME!”

    (This is followed by handbag attack and then swift exit. At this point we have it worked out that the customer is perfectly pleasant in the whole transaction, unless something goes slightly wrong, which for some reason she just can’t handle. A little more time goes by, and I am talking with three of my coworkers at the box office.)

    Coworker: “So anyway, what are—”

    (His voice trails off and his eyes go wide, I follow his line of sight and see her slowly approaching the box office. I turn back and see my coworker PHYSICALLY HIDING UNDER HIS DESK. I turn and see my two other coworkers have done the same.)

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Coworker: *whispering* “This is the arrangement we have now when dealing with… with HER.”

    (The customer approaches me, as the only visible box office worker.)

    Customer: “One ticket for [film], please.”

    (I carefully ensure I listen to get every word, and press the correct button to print the correct ticket. I successfully do so and breathe a sigh of relief when the ticket is produced from the machine. This is short-lived when in a case of truly awful timing, the machine breaks down and rips the ticket in half as it is printed.)

    Me: “Ah… s***.”

    Customer: *screams* *handbag attack* *leaves*

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    Customer: “Why won’t your gas pump accept my credit card?”

    Clerk: “Sorry, it’s cash or debit only.”

    Customer: “But I have a credit card and it won’t take it!”

    Clerk: “Cash or debit only, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This is a credit card!”

    Clerk: *pause* “It’s cash or debit only, not credit.”

    (The customer finally realizes what the clerk’s been saying and automatically becomes huffy.)

    Customer: “Well! Y’know, giving me the same answer three times doesn’t help me understand. You should have said, ‘we only accept cash or debit’. How was I supposed to understand what ‘cash or debit only’ means? It’s not a complete sentence!” *storms out*

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due

    Scream If You Wanna Hang Up Faster

    | Plymouth, England, UK | Bizarre, Top

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department. How can I help you?”

    (All I hear from the customer is a high-pitched, incoherent screaming.)

    Me: “Sir? Hello? I can’t understand what you are saying.”

    (Still screaming.)

    Me: “Sir, if you could just calm down and tell me the problem, I’m sure I can figure it out.”

    (The customer keeps screaming. I hang up. Two minutes later, my colleague takes a call.)

    Colleague: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department, how can I help you?”

    (Incoherent screaming.)

    Colleague: *looks at me* “It’s for you.”

    They Don’t Know That Band Aid Feeds The World

    , | OK, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer pulls up into the drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you have a grilled chicken salad?”

    (I list off all our chicken salads.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll take the BLT salad. Does that come with lettuce?”

    Me: “Yes. It’s a salad with lettuce.”

    Customer: “Okay. One BLT grilled salad with lettuce.”

    (I tell her the total, and she pulls up to the window. I’d cut myself earlier in the day on my finger, so I have to wear a band-aid. I’m only working with money, and try to keep it out of sight of customers as much as possible.)

    Me: “Your total is $5.85.”

    (The customer glances at my finger when I push the button to see her total. She looks like I’d just killed someone right in front of her.)

    Customer: “Oh. My gosh. I’m sorry. That’s so gross!”

    (She drops her change from spazzing out.)

    Customer:“J-just take the twenty and forget the change!”

    Me: “You sure? I can wait.”

    Customer: “Y-yes!” *shoos me away in disgust*

    (I give her the change, and close the window. I tell my coworkers it would be best if someone else handed out her food. My coworker hands the salad out to the spazzing customer.)

    Coworker: “Did you see her? ”

    Me: “No?”

    Coworker: “She was staring at you and making praying gestures and talking to herself!”

    Trying To Can The Idea

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (At our store, we have to see an ID card before we accept a check. Most of the cashiers are new, however, and lax about asking for ID.)

    Me: “Alright, before I process you check, may I please see your ID?”

    Older Customer: “Oh? When did this start?”

    Me: “It’s a part of our store rules, ma’am. We’re always supposed to ask this.”

    Older Customer: “Well, no one has ever asked me before!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We’re always supposed to ask for ID.”

    Older Customer: “Still, no one has asked before!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I have to follow the rules.”

    Older Customer: “Well, this is awful! You don’t know how hard this is on old people!”

    (She pulls out her wallet, opens it, and moves one thin piece of plastic to get to her ID. However, without warning, she grabs a can from the next customer’s order and chucks at my head.)

    Me: *dodges* “Ma’am, what are you doing?!”

    Older Customer: “You see what you did there? I could never do that today. What you did there is like what I go through getting to my ID!”

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