Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Makes You Either Laugh Or Cry, I’m Telling You Why

, | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am working on a till in the run-up to Christmas. I’m 20, but I look a bit younger. A customer and I have been chatting about her plans for the day ahead.)

Customer: “Do you work here full-time?”

Me: “No. I’m actually only on contract for eight hours per week, but I’m doing about thirty at the moment, with Christmas coming up.”

Customer: “Oh. I don’t know about all that. I say to my children, they’re about your age, I think you’re old enough to know by now—” *drops into a stage whisper* “—there’s no Father Christmas. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

(When the customer is gone, my supervisor comes over.)

Supervisor: “You look like you’re in shock. What happened?”

Me: “She told me Santa’s not real…”

Unhappy Holidays

| Canada | Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I’m sitting at my position, working for a well-known religious charity. I am collecting donations to fund their various charitable programs. A customer walks by.)

Customer: “Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Merry Christmas!”

Customer: “You aren’t allowed to say that!” *walks away*

Terminate This Purchase

, , , | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

(I realize the customer is buying three things. A pack of water pistols, lighter fluid, and matches.)

Me: “Um… This is an interesting purchase.”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s a wasp infestation in my garage. Figured this is easier than an exterminator.”

Some Customers Are Just Worth Recording

, | Cupertino, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’m working in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [restaurant]; what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Are… are you a recording?”

Me: “Yup. I’m absolutely a prerecorded message to take your order and make your day just a little brighter!”

Customer: “Oh. Well… I’ll have [order].”

(The customers drive up to the window to pay. I look at them amusingly.)

Me: “Am I a recording?”

Customer: *laughs* “Sorry. You were just so chipper that we thought you were a recording!”

Me: *chuckles* “It’s no problem. I’ve been up for three hours already and I’m loaded up on caffeine! Anyway, your order comes out to [total].”

Customer: “Okay. So, if I drive off right now, do you get to keep the change?”

Me: “Umm… That hasn’t happened before, so… maybe?”

Customer: “Okay. Well, have a great day, then!”

(The customers drive up to the next window to pick up their food. They very kindly leave me with a $15 tip!)

You Can Count On Some Customers

| Australia | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

(We have a few regulars in the store that we give nicknames. There is one middle-aged man who often wears a long black cloak with a high collar. He speaks with a thick Transylvanian-sounding accent, so I refer to him as ‘The Count.’)

The Count: “Hellooooo, daaaahliiing. Do you have any more of zese glasses?”

(I go out to the back and find another box. We’ve had a few problems with boxes being sent to us with broken pieces inside. I open it to show the customer all of them are fine.)

The Count: “Ahhhh, yes. Zey are very nice. And, let’s see…”

(He points at each in turn like ‘The Count’ from Sesame Street.)

The Count: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! They’re all there! Ah, ha, ha!”

(He takes the box out of my hands and goes to the counter with a sweep of his cloak. I guess some people live up to their nicknames!)

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