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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Government Is Going To Cone For You

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer in her mid-50s comes into the shop and begins looking around at all the varieties of ice cream.)

    Me: “Hi, do you know what you’d like?”

    Customer: “I sure do! I need some butter pecan in a waffle cone.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any waffle cones at this moment. Our waffle cone machine broke and we had to send it back to get another. We have cake and sugar cones, though.”

    Customer: “No, a ‘waaaaa-ffle’ cone. Waffle. Right here!” *points to sugar cones*

    Me: “Oh, a sugar cone! Sure thing, coming right up!”

    Customer: “No! Not a sugar cone! Waffle! Why won’t you give me what I want?! It’s the government, I tell you! They’re playing these evil mind tricks! I won’t fall for it, though! I won’t! I want a waffle cone!”

    Me: *grabs sugar cone* “Yes, ma’am.”

    (My coworker returns from her break, only having heard the last bit from the customer saying she wanted a waffle cone.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have any waffle cones right now.”

    Customer: “Not you, too! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!” *storms out*

    Coworker: “Well, that escalated quickly.”

    Making A Loud A-pee-l, Part 2

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (As the bookstore I work for is closing down, we have started closing down the bathrooms. At this point, they’ve shut down one stall leaving only one left in the ladies room. I go in and there’s a rather long line for the single stall.)

    Customer #1: *comes running in* “Oh… oh no, is there only one stall?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, but the line is moving pretty quick, though.”

    Customer #1: “Oh no! This won’t do.” *rushes out*

    (A few seconds later, Customer #1 comes back with two large paper coffee cups. She goes over to a corner, sets the cups on the floor, and drops her pants.)

    Customer #1: “Okay, everyone! I really have to go! I have a bladder infection so if I don’t go right now, it won’t end well for me. Nobody look!”

    (As she goes to drop her drawers, another woman comes out of the stall. I happen to be the next in line.)

    Me: “Please! Go ahead of me! Apparently, you need the bathroom more than I do!”

    Customer #1: “Are you sure? You probably have to go back to work. I’m okay with this.”

    Me: “Nope! Just go!”

    Customer #1: “Gee, thanks!” *shuffles into the stall with her pants around her ankles*

    Related:
    Making A Loud A-pee-l

    Getting Inside The Meat Of The Matter

    | WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work the night shift at a popular big box store and have answered a phone call at around 3 am.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “What is your return policy on food if I don’t have a receipt?”

    Me: “Without a receipt, you can exchange food items for other food items, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, I bought meat and it leaked blood all over my fridge!”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that. If you bring in the meat, we can exchange it and make sure the new package is wrapped up so it won’t leak.”

    Customer: “Well, how about I take it to the hospital and have it x-rayed to see if you tampered with it, hmm!?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I’m going to take this meat to the ER, right now, and have them x-ray it because you tampered with it!”

    Me: “Well, sir, if you want to take meat to the hospital at 3 am and have it x-rayed, you’re certainly welcome to do so.”

    Customer: “That’s right! I am!” *slams phone down*

    Coworker: “Did you just say someone was x-raying some meat?”

    Me: “I’m going on break.”

    How To Treat Employees

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Can you help me find these treats in the large breed size?”

    Me: “Sure!” *goes to shelf and finds treats*

    Customer: “Good girl! Who’s a good girl? You’re a good girl!”

    Always Jump At The Chance For Fun

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

    (A customer in her forties comes through my line, and we exchange pleasantries as I ring her out. It’s a perfectly normal interaction.)

    Me: “Do you have your [store] rewards card?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t believe I have one.”

    Me: “Well, would you like to sign up?”

    (The customer agrees and I walk her through the process. Everything goes smoothly and at the end, I scan her new card and hand it to her.)

    Me: “There you go!”

    Customer: “Yay!”

    (Suddenly, the customer starts jumping up and down in joy, waving her hands and looking for all the world like an ecstatic six year old. This goes on for a while and, not knowing what else to do, I wind up jumping with her. Just as suddenly as she started, she calms down and stops jumping.)

    Woman: “There, wasn’t that exciting? Now you’ll be cheery for the whole rest of the day!”

    (I certainly was!)

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