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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Not Acting Like Adults

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working at a popular adult store. It is five minutes before closing. Two girls come in, and they appear to have been drinking.)

    Customer #1: “Are you still open?”

    Me: “Well, we close in about five minutes, but I’d be happy to help you find what you’re looking for.”

    Customer #2: “Oh-em-gee. I want my first vibrator!”

    Me: “Okay. Well, we have a lot of good choices.”

    (I try to show her the products. She proceeds to grab them out of my hands and hit her friend with them. Even though I’m not embarrassed by the products, I find this behavior pretty inappropriate. She is clearly not listening to anything I’m saying.)

    Me: “You know what? It’s getting late, and I really think that you’ll want more time to make your decision. This is the hours we are open, and in fact, I will be here opening in the morning. You will have a lot more time to decide then.”

    Customer #1: “Let’s just go. It’s getting late.”

    Customer #2: “No, I want a vibrator!”

    Customer #1: *pulling her out of the store, to me* “I’m really sorry about this. Have a good night.”

    Coworker: “Man, I know we’re not supposed to kick people out of the store and stay open, but thank you for getting them out of here!”

    Decisions Derisions

    | Malaysia | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a remainder bookstore. We have a notorious customer who comes in few minutes before closing to browse books. She doesn’t buy them. She reserves her browses for months and pays for them even later.)

    Customer: “Since you released my reservations, I want you to find my books again. I am buying them today.”

    Supervisor: “Sure, why not. After all, we are only closing in two minutes.”

    Customer: “Oh, two minutes? Then make it quick!”

    Supervisor: *relentlessly fulfills her terrible demands, and getting angrier by the moment* “Would you kindly make your purchases now? We are way past closing time.”

    Customer: *suddenly breathes heavily, tearing up and her arms were flailing* “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DECIDE NOW? I AM YOUR CUSTOMER!” *proceeded to run around the store*

    Supervisor: “Miss, please! We will reserve your books and you can come tomorrow.”

    Customer: “I can’t come tomorrow! I am very busy! I have a meeting tomorrow and I have to cook for the kids!”

    Supervisor: “You can come after your working hours.”

    Customer: “No! You can’t make me decide! Don’t do this to me! You can’t make me decide!”

    Snickering At The Service

    , | Sylva, NC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a sandwich shop during my first few years of college. One day during a slow period my two coworkers see this lady come inside on the security cameras. My coworkers immediately say ‘not it!’ so I go up to take care of this woman’s order. The lady is already irritated and being short with me, over something like she’s late or she’s had a bad day. The order is going along fine until we get to the part where she tells me what veggies she wants.)

    Customer: “And now I want the snicker cheese.”

    Me: *confused* “The what?”

    Customer: “The snicker cheese.”

    Me: *still confused* “…like the candy bar?”

    Customer: “Yes, the cheese that tastes like the Snicker’s candy bar.”

    (It turns out she wants the parmesan oregano. I can tell you from experience parmesan oregano tastes nothing like a Snicker’s candy bar. After finishing the woman’s order, I go back and my coworkers ask me what was up with her. I tell them what she said and they both just kind of give me this weird look.)

    Me: “You don’t believe me, do you?”

    Coworker: “No, I believe you. Something that stupid can’t be made up.”

    Never EVER Burst His Bubble

    , | CT, USA | Bizarre

    (I used to work in one of the retail stores for a major shipping company. We sold all sorts of shipping materials, but the one that most caught customers’ eyes was the 250′ roll of bubble wrap. One day this older man who seemed like he might have been high walked into the store, stared at the two rolls of bubble wrap stacked on top of one another, and then looked creepily over at my coworker and me.)

    Customer: “I’ve always wondered how much bubble wrap it would take to ship a corpse.”

    Me: “Well, I would guess that depends on the size of the corpse.” *nervous laughter*

    Customer: *creepy smile* “I’ll let you know.”

    (He left and my coworker and I were left wondering whether or not we should call the cops.)

    No Real Cause For Concern

    | USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a very busy furniture store that is often out of stock of popular items and is constantly changing stock. A customer demands an item that has been discontinued and is no longer displayed as current merchandise. A manager and I find out there is an order of one left coming in but the date is unknown and a week later explains to the customer that the date is set to arrive a month from now.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but the merchandise you ordered isn’t expected to come in until the 31st, so—”

    Customer: “What do you mean the 31st!? This is not acceptable.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have no control over the expected date. We no longer carry it on our floor and a final order has been fulfilled for you at the expected date but we will—”

    Customer: “No, that is not acceptable. No one told me it was no longer available. You need to make this right for me.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, before you started talking I was trying to tell you we would refund your money for delivery since you are having to wait such a long period of time.”

    Customer: “Well, you should apologize for that.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I did apologize right before the first time you interrupted me.”

    Customer: “You should do something to make me happy.”

    Me: “Ma’am, after I apologized I offered you our delivery service for free which would normally cost you $120.”

    Customer: “Fine. You should sound more concerned. Your voice didn’t sound sincere enough for me.”

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