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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Can Make Your Head Swim

    | Stevens Point, WI, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (At the call center I work at we get weird calls from people testing out the service all the time. Some include random trivia questions, about random subjects. We have to answer all questions seriously and try to get sources if we can.)

    Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company] Concierge. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”

    (At this point I see he is calling in from Texas.)

    Me: “Certainly, I’ll do my best to answer any question you may have.”

    Customer: “Well, this is a serious question. Are you sure?”

    Me: “Anything at all. No need to be shy. What’s the question?”

    Customer: “Well… um… can deer swim?”

    Me: “Let me check for you, sir… Well, sir, I found a YouTube video of a deer swimming, and I’m watching it right now. So, yes. Deer can swim.”

    Customer: “For real?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, deer can swim.”

    Customer: “I just don’t believe it. I need to see it myself. Can you send me a link to that video?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. It will just take a second as I send that.”

    Customer: *slightly muffled* “Honey, sounds like deer can swim. I know. I can’t believe it.”

    The Service Industry Can Drive You Crazy

    | Tilton, NH, USA | Bizarre

    (We wear headsets at my work place to hear each other across the store. I tend to talk to myself while I put away clothes or tidy up, i.e. ‘Where do you go? How did you get on the floor?’ etc. This all happens over our headsets.)

    Manager: “So we just got a customer complaint that one of the girls putting away clothes was talking to herself.”

    Coworker: “Seriously?”

    Manager: “Seriously. This is not a joke.”

    Me: “So, that was me.”

    Coworker: “Great job, [My Name]. Way to scare the customers!”

    (Now every time I talk to myself at work, we joke that I should be careful or else someone will complain.)

    Trying To Clean Up His Act

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

    Coworker: “We had another shoplifter yesterday. Another one of our regular customers that we always look after.”

    Me: “Really? Who?”

    Coworker: “This guy who brings a bike in.”

    Me: “Oh, I saw him as I was leaving yesterday. Had a funny feeling about him.”

    Coworker: “Yes. He shopped for about half an hour while I stayed at the counter and kept an eye on his bike. He then came up to ask if we had soap making kits. I told him no but when he bent down to pick up the bag he left by his bike I saw a package with a pair of scissors in it, stuffed down his pants.”

    Me: “Down his pants?”

    Coworker: “Yes, the back of his pants. I told him he needed to pay for them so he pulled them out and threw them on the counter. But when he turned I noticed another item down his pants so I asked for that as well and he pulled that out. Then I noticed he had something in his pocket so I asked him what that was. He claimed it was something of his. I told him to show me and he pulled out more of our stock and threw it on the counter.”

    Me: “I knew I had a strange feeling about him.”

    Coworker: “Yes, and I was doing him a favour by watching his bike. I have no idea what else he bought. I watched him leave and saw him go in the fishing shop, so I raced up to warn them. They warned other shops as well. Each made sure he was followed in the store.”

    Me: “Hopefully he won’t come back.”

    Coworker: “Me, too, but the weirdest part was not long after there was a phone call. It was his voice asking if we had soap making kits.”

    A Little Bird Told Her Wrong

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a horse supply/tack store. We don’t sell any sort of animal.)

    Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi. Do you sell pigeons?”

    Me: “What’s a pigeon?”

    Customer: “You don’t know what a pigeon is?”

    Me: “Well, like the bird, pigeon?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “No, we don’t sell birds.”

    Customer: “What type of store is this that you don’t sell birds?”

    Me: “Uhm, a horse supply store.”

    Customer: “Oh, the yellow pages didn’t say anything about that!”

    Tipping The Scales Of Sobriety

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Pets & Animals

    (I am ringing up a couple customers. The first is visibly drunk, but has been pleasant throughout the transaction.)

    Me: “That will be [total], sir.”

    Customer: “What’s that mean?”

    (He is pointing at our tip jar, which has a sign reading ‘Tipping: Bad for Cows, Good for Staff.’)

    Me: “You mean cow tipping?”

    (He stares at me, clearly very confused.)

    Me: “It’s a stereotypical redneck activity where you go out into a field and push a cow over while she’s sleeping.”

    Customer: “You… what? Why do you push the cows?”

    Me: “… because it’s funny?”

    (I spend another five minutes trying to explain the concept. He really tries to wrap his head around it but he’s just too inebriated to manage it. Finally, he gives up and walks off with his food. The second customer, who has witnessed all of this, steps up to the register. He’s laughing and gesturing to his flannel shirt and jeans.)

    Customer #2: “Don’t worry, honey. I’m a farm boy and I know what cow tipping is.”

    Me: “Oh, thank goodness.”

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