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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Always Jump At The Chance For Fun

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

    (A customer in her forties comes through my line, and we exchange pleasantries as I ring her out. It’s a perfectly normal interaction.)

    Me: “Do you have your [store] rewards card?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t believe I have one.”

    Me: “Well, would you like to sign up?”

    (The customer agrees and I walk her through the process. Everything goes smoothly and at the end, I scan her new card and hand it to her.)

    Me: “There you go!”

    Customer: “Yay!”

    (Suddenly, the customer starts jumping up and down in joy, waving her hands and looking for all the world like an ecstatic six year old. This goes on for a while and, not knowing what else to do, I wind up jumping with her. Just as suddenly as she started, she calms down and stops jumping.)

    Woman: “There, wasn’t that exciting? Now you’ll be cheery for the whole rest of the day!”

    (I certainly was!)

    Hair Abhorrent

    | Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre

    (I’m with my sister, shopping in the produce section of the supermarket, when a male customer approaches me. Note: I’m female with long hair.)

    Male Customer: “You! Your hair’s too long!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Male Customer: “If you bought some scissors, I’d cut it for you.”

    Me: “I… ah… No thank you.”

    Male Customer: “Fine!”

    (He then storms off towards the back of the store.)

    My Sister: “What the f*** just happened?!”

    Plot Twist Of The Truth

    | Mexico City, Mexico | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Top

    (I work at a library that opens Monday through Saturday. It is the Tuesday after a long weekend following the celebration of Mexico’s Independence Day. When I walk in, my assistant looks to be almost in tears while talking to a customer on the phone. I decide to take the call from there.)

    Me: “Good morning. This is the manager. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, nothing with, really. Since you are all a bunch of lazy a**holes. Shame on you.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, I called on Sunday because I needed some very important information and no one picked up the phone. No one, you lazy b****!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but, you see, we close Sundays. Any other day we are happy to help with any information.”

    Customer: “Yeah? Well, explain this to me. I called yesterday and your s****y secretary didn’t even pick up the phone.”

    Me: “Well, because of the long weekend, we were closed this particular Monday.”

    Customer: “What the f***? You close when I need information? Are you deliberately doing this to upset me? This country doesn’t need people like you, you know?!”

    Me: “You mean, people that celebrate its independence? That’s the reason we closed. Banks close this particular day too, you know?”

    Customer: “What?! You mean banks were closed too?! Is this some kind of evil plan you’re all plotting against me?!”

    (At this point, I decide I’ve had enough of her screaming.)

    Me: “YES WE ARE! And now you know, you should never stop looking over your shoulder because we are after YOU.”

    (We never heard from that customer again.)

    A Weebly Weird Conversation

    , , | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (I am waiting in line at a fast food restaurant. The couple behind me, who looks to be in their late twenties, are discussing their orders.)

    Guy: “Have you tried the bacon, mushroom and Swiss cheese burger?”

    Girl: “Yeah, it wasn’t bad, but I’m not a huge fan of mushrooms.”

    Guy: *starts singing super quietly* “Mushroom! Mushroom!”

    Girl: *also super quietly* “It’s a snake! A snaaaaaake! A snaaaaake!”

    Both: “Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger!”

    (They then go back to their conversation about various menu items, completely normal.)

    Just Bagging For Trouble

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at the box office of a cinema. A middle-aged lady approaches.)

    Customer: *politely* “One ticket for [film], please.”

    Me: “No problem!”

    (I print her ticket, but then realise I have accidentally printed the wrong performance time. She is holding out her hand expectantly.)

    Me: “My apologies, but I have accidentally printed the wrong ticket. Just give me a moment and I’ll have this fixed for you.”

    Customer: *with absolutely no warning and in a high pitched squeal* “HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!”

    (The customer then proceeds to whack me with her handbag and storm out of the lobby. My coworkers who witnessed it share the same bemused expression as I do. A few months pass and this same customer returns several times, all without incident. One evening she approaches my coworker.)

    Customer: “A ticket for [film], please.”

    Coworker: “Absolutely, I—”

    (He looks ups and sees who it is, panics slightly, causing his hand to spasm and press the wrong button. The wrong ticket comes out. The rest of his coworkers and I are watching intently.)

    Coworker: “I… I… I’m sorry but—”

    Customer: *again with zero warning* “SABOTAGE! WHY DO YOU SABOTAGE ME!”

    (This is followed by handbag attack and then swift exit. At this point we have it worked out that the customer is perfectly pleasant in the whole transaction, unless something goes slightly wrong, which for some reason she just can’t handle. A little more time goes by, and I am talking with three of my coworkers at the box office.)

    Coworker: “So anyway, what are—”

    (His voice trails off and his eyes go wide, I follow his line of sight and see her slowly approaching the box office. I turn back and see my coworker PHYSICALLY HIDING UNDER HIS DESK. I turn and see my two other coworkers have done the same.)

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Coworker: *whispering* “This is the arrangement we have now when dealing with… with HER.”

    (The customer approaches me, as the only visible box office worker.)

    Customer: “One ticket for [film], please.”

    (I carefully ensure I listen to get every word, and press the correct button to print the correct ticket. I successfully do so and breathe a sigh of relief when the ticket is produced from the machine. This is short-lived when in a case of truly awful timing, the machine breaks down and rips the ticket in half as it is printed.)

    Me: “Ah… s***.”

    Customer: *screams* *handbag attack* *leaves*

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