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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Some People Can’t Handle Their Sugar

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am stocking coke in the aisle. A very perturbed customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Young man, my doctor said I can’t drink coke anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    (I continue stocking the coke.)

    Customer: “Young man, I just told you that I can’t drink this stuff.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Would you like me to help you find something else?”

    Customer: “I said I can’t drink this stuff!”

    (She grabs a two-liter bottle and throws it to the ground. She puts her hand into the shelf behind the product and starts walking down the aisle, scooping all the soda on the floor.)

    Customer: “I can’t drink coke! I can’t drink coke!”

    (She begins stomping on the cans and bottles and kicking them around. By the time she’s worn herself out, the floor is covered. The cans are spraying little jets of cola. She looks at me, then over my shoulder at the liquor dept.)

    Customer: “He said I can’t drink whiskey either!”

    (She starts to charge the liquor dept. Thankfully, that is when the security guard steps in front of her, takes her hand, and leads her out of the store.)

    Drastic Plastic

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A shopper walks by with a cart full of cups, plastic silverware, and paper plates.)

    Me: “Hey! How are you? Throwing a party?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I just don’t believe in washing dishes.”

    Needs To Chill Out

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (Our company takes calls from all over the world from customers wanting help with household appliance queries.)

    Me: “Welcome to the customer care centre. How may I help today?”

    (An American customer starts screaming.)

    Customer: “STOP WATCHING ME! BIG BROTHER IS INSIDE MY FRIDGE!”

    Me: “Why do you think that, ma’am?”

    Customer: “There’s this little blinking light and manic beeping coming from inside my fridge! Listen!”

    (I hear a clunking noise, and the customer’s voice gets very faint. A few moments pass; the customer puts the phone to her ear again.)

    Customer: “Did you hear that? I know someone is spying on me!!”

    Me: “What just happened, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I put ya’ll in the fridge so you could hear the noise, and see who’s spying on me!”

    Me: “Well, apart from being a little chilly I didn’t hear anything. How often does the beeping occur?”

    Customer: “When I have the door open! I can see the blinking light and the beeping is driving me nuts!”

    Me: “Ma’am? The fridge does this to alert you to the fact that the door has been open for too long. It is so the food is kept fresh. I promise you, there is no one watching you.”

    Customer: “Yes! There is someone! What are you going to do about it?”

    Me: “May I ask how much you purchased your fridge for?”

    Customer: “Around $1500. Why?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you don’t need to worry. There is no one inside your fridge watching you. We only supply the ones with robots inside for the military, and those fridges would set you back $5000! I promise you that if you shut your fridge door firmly when it starts to beep, you won’t have any more trouble.”

    (The customer breathes a sigh of relief.)

    Customer: “Whew! I thought I was going nuts! Thanks hon!”

    Bohemian Medicine

    | NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I work as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. There are about 10 people who have been waiting for at least 90 minutes. It’s very quiet. A young man mumbles something. Some people look his way, but other than that no one pays much attention to him. He then starts singing, a little louder…)

    Young Man: “Put a gun against his head…”

    (Some people chuckle.)

    Young Man: “Pulled my trigger…”

    (The young woman sitting across from him joins in.)

    Young Woman: “…now he’s dead.”

    Old Man: “Mama, life had just begun…”

    Young man: “But now I’ve gone and thrown it all awaaaay…”

    All Three: “Mama, oooooooh! Didn’t mean to make you cry!”

    Teenage Girl: “If I’m not back again this time tomorrow…”

    All: “…carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters!”

    (By now, everyone in the waiting room has joined in.)

    All: “Too late, my time has come! Send shivers down my spine, body’s achin’ all the time!”

    (They finish the refrain just as the doctor calls his next patient. Needless to say, that little impromptu performance really brightened my day!)

    Victim Of A Crazy Mugging

    | QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (We have a staff rest/break room near the bathrooms. Customers accidentally walk into it all the time, so we get a very big sign that says ‘Staff Only, Please Do Not Enter’. One day, I hear several very loud noises coming from the staff break room. I go to investigate.)

    Me: “Is everything okay in here?”

    (I look around to utter chaos. Tea and coffee has been thrown all around the room. Milk has been poured on the counter, and the water jug is on the floor. Oddest of all, the fridge door is wide open, and the shelves have been neatly removed and stacked on top of the table. In the middle of all of it is sitting a very well-dressed middle aged woman. She is sipping coffee out of my personal coffee mug.)

    Me: “I.. um… excuse me, ma’am?”

    (She looks up with a lovely smile, and goes back to sipping coffee.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to… um—”

    (She stares at me for a very long time, then goes back to her coffee.)

    Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, ma’am. This is a staff only area.”

    (She smiles, and starts talking in a very fake British accent.)

    Customer: “Oh, you know. I just wanted a coffee.”

    Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to take it outside of this room. It’s for staff only.”

    Customer: “But… my coffee?”

    Me: “It’s okay, take it around the shop with you. I’ll even put it into a take-away cup for you.”

    (I offer to take back my mug. Her smile turns to a horrible scowl.)

    Customer: “MY cup!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s mine. Now, I need you to leave this area before I call security.”

    Customer: “Oh!”

    (Smiling again, she gets up and walks out of the room. She then turns around, shrieks, and hurls the cup at me, where it smashes at my feet.)

    Customer: “MY CUP! MY COFFEE!”

    (I call security. She goes on a rampage, trying to smash everything in sight. She even bites the security guard. They have to call the police, because they can’t restrain her. I guess some people really do need coffee to be human.)

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