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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    If A Tree Falls In A Dollar Store…

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work in a dollar store that has a lot of varying inventory. It’s not uncommon for people to come in and ask me if we have received a particular item in on the truck.)

    Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

    Customer: “Yes I did. I love coming in here and seeing all the new stuff you get. But I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure, if I can’t answer it I’m sure I can find someone who can.”

    Customer: “If I’m looking for something and I can’t find it, is it free?”

    Me: “I would suppose so. If we don’t have it, I can’t charge you for buying it.”

    Customer: “So if I look around and I do find it?”

    Me: “Then you found it and it’s no longer free.”

    (The customer thinks for a second while I finish ringing him up, pays, and turns back to me as he’s walking out.)

    Customer: “You win this round; can I go home now?”

    Me: “I assume so; I’m not stopping you.”

    (The customer walks out happy as can be.)

    Moments You Wish You Had A Camera For

    , | Sacramento, CA, USARetail, Office Supply Store | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (My store sells desks and other office furniture. A customer who recently purchased a desk comes marching into the store, looking angry.)

    Customer: “YOUR COMPANY IS SPYING ON ITS CUSTOMERS!”

    Coworker: “What?”

    Customer: “You’re spying on your customers!”

    Coworker: “How do you figure?”

    Customer: “I just bought a desk from you guys, and on the instructions it says there’s a ‘hidden cam’ I’m supposed to install!”

    Coworker: “Sir, a cam-screw is just a type of screw. This one’s called a hidden cam because after you build everything, you won’t be able to see the screw any more.”

    Customer: “No, it’s a camera! You’re trying to steal information about people, and sell it to the government!”

    Coworker: “Sir, why would my company waste hundreds of thousands of dollars sneaking cameras into desks, cameras that are covered up by other pieces of the furniture and pointed at the floor?”

    Customer: “Well they could be listening in on my conversations!”

    Me: “Wouldn’t it be called a ‘hidden mic,’ then?”

    Coworker: “And why would we go so far as to clearly label the hidden cam as a hidden cam?”

    Customer: *leaves, defeated*

    Not Their Number One Flavor

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (We can do urinalysis testing for anyone, for any reason. A client comes in with his mom, carrying a Gatorade bottle. He puts the bottle on my desk.)

    Client: “Can you test this?”

    (I realize that the bottle is filled with urine. Normally we have to supervise the test being taken, but his mom says it’s fine and his testing is voluntary anyway. I shrug and take the sample into the back to process it, and throw the bottle away in a biohazard bag. I come back to my desk.)

    Me: “Alright, the lab will test the sample, and you guys are good to go.”

    (The mom leaves, but the client just stands there.)

    Me: “Um, is there something else you need?”

    Client: “Can I have my water bottle back?”

    Selective Stealing

    | Portugal | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I’m attending to a client that has her bag and other stuff on the counter, and has to fill out some forms.)

    Me: “Do you mind if I attend to another client while you fill out the forms?”

    Client #1: “Sure!”

    (I call another client, and she has to fill out some forms as well, so I return to Client #1.)

    Me: “All done. That will be €5.50.”

    Client #1: “Where’s my money?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Client #1: “I had my money right here in the counter, and it’s gone!”

    (We both look for the money, trying to figure out if it has fallen to the floor. Suddenly I look at Client #2, and realize what has happened.)

    Me: *to Client #2* “Ma’am, did you take the money that was on the counter?”

    Client #2: *after a long pause* “Yes, I did.”

    Client #1: “Why on earth would you do that?!”

    Client #2: “Well, I didn’t know it was yours; I thought it was hers!” *points to me*

    Me: “So that would make it okay?!”

    Client #2: *happily* “Exactly!”

    They Have No Drive

    , | Markham, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working in the drive-thru window. I am talking to a customer and we both notice a group of four young teens WALKING down the drive-thru lane.)

    Customer: *laughs* “Don’t you love how silly kids are? Well, good night!”

    (The customer leaves, and the teens approach the drive-thru window.)

    Teen: “Yea, hi. I want to order.”

    Me: “Yea, sorry. Unfortunately I can’t serve you here unless you are in a car. You are welcome to come inside though.”

    Teen: “What are you talking about? We are in a car, see! I’m the driver holding the wheel.” *holds imaginary wheel* “And my passengers!” *points at his three friends*

    Me: “Sorry, but unless you can crash your car and dent my wall. I can’t serve you here.”

    Teen: “Okay!” *makes screeching noises* “CRASH!”

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