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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Little Mermaid Student

    | New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a swimming teacher for mainly children under five. It is after the final lesson of the day. I am standing chatting to the parents. A young girl I have just been teaching walks up to me.)

    Young Girl: “Excuse me. What are you doing?”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Young Girl: “Why aren’t you in the pool?”

    Me: “I don’t have anyone else to teach today. You were my last class.”

    Young Girl: “But I thought you lived in the pool. Aren’t you a mermaid, miss?”

    (I have to fight back the laughter as this little girl is completely serious, and is horrified to learn I don’t live in the pool! It’s things like this that make my job worthwhile.)

    That Bread Cost A Lot Of Dough

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at a pizza place. I take an order over the phone.)

    Caller: “I’d like to order two thin crusts.”

    Me: “Okay, that will be two thin crust pizzas. What would you like on them?”

    Caller: “No, I just want the crusts. Last time I ordered, you people didn’t make it right, so I’m just going to top it myself.”

    Me: “So, you want us to cook, and deliver to you, two pieces of bread?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “That shouldn’t be an issue. Let me just make sure it’s okay with my manager.”

    (I put the customer on hold. My manager confirms that we can indeed accommodate the customer, but advises me to inform her, that she will be paying the full price of two pizzas, for two cooked pieces of bread.)

    Me: “Looks like we can handle that for you, but my manager did want me to make you aware that that we can’t discount the price of the order because it lacks toppings.”

    Caller: “That’s just fine.”

    Me: “Alright, that will be $21.53. Your bread will be ready for you to pick up in 15 to 20 minutes. Have a nice day!”

    Solving Difficult Number Tables

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (The coffee shop I work in has a policy for customers to order their hot food from the tills, by providing their table number. Every table has its own individual number super-glued firmly to it. My coworker calls a customer to her counter.)

    Coworker: “Hello there, are you ordering food today?”

    Customer: “Yes, here’s our table number.”

    (The customer then HANDS OVER the number plate that was super-glued to the table.)

    Coworker: “Did you take this off of the table?”

    Customer: “Yes! It was really stuck on there though!”

    (I’ve never seen anyone take this policy quite so literally.)

    Makes You Want To Run A Mile In No One’s Shoes

    | Kent, WA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I’m working alone at a smaller store in a well-known local chain. Only two of the 20 locations in the state sell shoes, but people always ask. I’m ringing up a customer when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Sorry, I have to grab that.”

    Customer: “Okay! No problem.”

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store] in Kent; how can I help you?”

    (Silence.)

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [store] in Kent.”

    Caller: *screaming* “HI, DO YOU GUYS HAVE SHOES?”

    Me: “Sorry, no, the only stores that have shoes are [location] and [location].”

    Caller: “ARE YOU SURE?”

    Me: “…yeah, you have to go to either [location] or [location] if you want shoes.”

    Caller: “I DON’T LIKE THAT ANSWER.”

    Me: “Sorry, but that’s the only one I have for you. Anything else I can do for you tonight?”

    Caller: “NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! UGH!” *click*

    Me: “Well, okay then…”

    Customer: *laughing* “Sounds like you’re having a great night so far!”

    The Generation Size Gap

    | Hampshire, England, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I’m standing near the front of the store, greeting customers as they come in. An elderly gentleman enters with a walking stick.)

    Me: “Hello.” *smiling*

    Customer: *suddenly frowning* “GOOD GOD! GOOD GOD!”

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Customer: “GOOD GOD!” *raises stick and pokes me in the stomach with it* “Would you look at that?! You could live for years! Forever in that body!”

    Me: “Erm, thanks?!”

    Customer: “No! I mean you must be one of those genetic throwbacks! You don’t get trim girls anymore. Girls these days are FAT FAT FAT! I bet you could even run if you needed to!”

    Me: “Sometimes I run; I mostly just eat healthy really.”

    Customer: “GOOD GOD! I must go and get Marjorie from the CD shop and show you to her! GOOD GOD!”

    (He turns and leaves, but never does return. Not even with Marjorie.)

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