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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Plot Twist Of The Truth

    | Mexico City, Mexico | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Top

    (I work at a library that opens Monday through Saturday. It is the Tuesday after a long weekend following the celebration of Mexico’s Independence Day. When I walk in, my assistant looks to be almost in tears while talking to a customer on the phone. I decide to take the call from there.)

    Me: “Good morning. This is the manager. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, nothing with, really. Since you are all a bunch of lazy a**holes. Shame on you.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, I called on Sunday because I needed some very important information and no one picked up the phone. No one, you lazy b****!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but, you see, we close Sundays. Any other day we are happy to help with any information.”

    Customer: “Yeah? Well, explain this to me. I called yesterday and your s****y secretary didn’t even pick up the phone.”

    Me: “Well, because of the long weekend, we were closed this particular Monday.”

    Customer: “What the f***? You close when I need information? Are you deliberately doing this to upset me? This country doesn’t need people like you, you know?!”

    Me: “You mean, people that celebrate its independence? That’s the reason we closed. Banks close this particular day too, you know?”

    Customer: “What?! You mean banks were closed too?! Is this some kind of evil plan you’re all plotting against me?!”

    (At this point, I decide I’ve had enough of her screaming.)

    Me: “YES WE ARE! And now you know, you should never stop looking over your shoulder because we are after YOU.”

    (We never heard from that customer again.)

    A Weebly Weird Conversation

    , , | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (I am waiting in line at a fast food restaurant. The couple behind me, who looks to be in their late twenties, are discussing their orders.)

    Guy: “Have you tried the bacon, mushroom and Swiss cheese burger?”

    Girl: “Yeah, it wasn’t bad, but I’m not a huge fan of mushrooms.”

    Guy: *starts singing super quietly* “Mushroom! Mushroom!”

    Girl: *also super quietly* “It’s a snake! A snaaaaaake! A snaaaaake!”

    Both: “Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger!”

    (They then go back to their conversation about various menu items, completely normal.)

    Just Bagging For Trouble

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at the box office of a cinema. A middle-aged lady approaches.)

    Customer: *politely* “One ticket for [film], please.”

    Me: “No problem!”

    (I print her ticket, but then realise I have accidentally printed the wrong performance time. She is holding out her hand expectantly.)

    Me: “My apologies, but I have accidentally printed the wrong ticket. Just give me a moment and I’ll have this fixed for you.”

    Customer: *with absolutely no warning and in a high pitched squeal* “HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!”

    (The customer then proceeds to whack me with her handbag and storm out of the lobby. My coworkers who witnessed it share the same bemused expression as I do. A few months pass and this same customer returns several times, all without incident. One evening she approaches my coworker.)

    Customer: “A ticket for [film], please.”

    Coworker: “Absolutely, I—”

    (He looks ups and sees who it is, panics slightly, causing his hand to spasm and press the wrong button. The wrong ticket comes out. The rest of his coworkers and I are watching intently.)

    Coworker: “I… I… I’m sorry but—”

    Customer: *again with zero warning* “SABOTAGE! WHY DO YOU SABOTAGE ME!”

    (This is followed by handbag attack and then swift exit. At this point we have it worked out that the customer is perfectly pleasant in the whole transaction, unless something goes slightly wrong, which for some reason she just can’t handle. A little more time goes by, and I am talking with three of my coworkers at the box office.)

    Coworker: “So anyway, what are—”

    (His voice trails off and his eyes go wide, I follow his line of sight and see her slowly approaching the box office. I turn back and see my coworker PHYSICALLY HIDING UNDER HIS DESK. I turn and see my two other coworkers have done the same.)

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Coworker: *whispering* “This is the arrangement we have now when dealing with… with HER.”

    (The customer approaches me, as the only visible box office worker.)

    Customer: “One ticket for [film], please.”

    (I carefully ensure I listen to get every word, and press the correct button to print the correct ticket. I successfully do so and breathe a sigh of relief when the ticket is produced from the machine. This is short-lived when in a case of truly awful timing, the machine breaks down and rips the ticket in half as it is printed.)

    Me: “Ah… s***.”

    Customer: *screams* *handbag attack* *leaves*

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    Customer: “Why won’t your gas pump accept my credit card?”

    Clerk: “Sorry, it’s cash or debit only.”

    Customer: “But I have a credit card and it won’t take it!”

    Clerk: “Cash or debit only, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This is a credit card!”

    Clerk: *pause* “It’s cash or debit only, not credit.”

    (The customer finally realizes what the clerk’s been saying and automatically becomes huffy.)

    Customer: “Well! Y’know, giving me the same answer three times doesn’t help me understand. You should have said, ‘we only accept cash or debit’. How was I supposed to understand what ‘cash or debit only’ means? It’s not a complete sentence!” *storms out*

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due

    Scream If You Wanna Hang Up Faster

    | Plymouth, England, UK | Bizarre, Top

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department. How can I help you?”

    (All I hear from the customer is a high-pitched, incoherent screaming.)

    Me: “Sir? Hello? I can’t understand what you are saying.”

    (Still screaming.)

    Me: “Sir, if you could just calm down and tell me the problem, I’m sure I can figure it out.”

    (The customer keeps screaming. I hang up. Two minutes later, my colleague takes a call.)

    Colleague: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department, how can I help you?”

    (Incoherent screaming.)

    Colleague: *looks at me* “It’s for you.”


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