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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Needs To Chill Out

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (Our company takes calls from all over the world from customers wanting help with household appliance queries.)

    Me: “Welcome to the customer care centre. How may I help today?”

    (An American customer starts screaming.)

    Customer: “STOP WATCHING ME! BIG BROTHER IS INSIDE MY FRIDGE!”

    Me: “Why do you think that, ma’am?”

    Customer: “There’s this little blinking light and manic beeping coming from inside my fridge! Listen!”

    (I hear a clunking noise, and the customer’s voice gets very faint. A few moments pass; the customer puts the phone to her ear again.)

    Customer: “Did you hear that? I know someone is spying on me!!”

    Me: “What just happened, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I put ya’ll in the fridge so you could hear the noise, and see who’s spying on me!”

    Me: “Well, apart from being a little chilly I didn’t hear anything. How often does the beeping occur?”

    Customer: “When I have the door open! I can see the blinking light and the beeping is driving me nuts!”

    Me: “Ma’am? The fridge does this to alert you to the fact that the door has been open for too long. It is so the food is kept fresh. I promise you, there is no one watching you.”

    Customer: “Yes! There is someone! What are you going to do about it?”

    Me: “May I ask how much you purchased your fridge for?”

    Customer: “Around $1500. Why?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you don’t need to worry. There is no one inside your fridge watching you. We only supply the ones with robots inside for the military, and those fridges would set you back $5000! I promise you that if you shut your fridge door firmly when it starts to beep, you won’t have any more trouble.”

    (The customer breathes a sigh of relief.)

    Customer: “Whew! I thought I was going nuts! Thanks hon!”

    Bohemian Medicine

    | NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I work as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. There are about 10 people who have been waiting for at least 90 minutes. It’s very quiet. A young man mumbles something. Some people look his way, but other than that no one pays much attention to him. He then starts singing, a little louder…)

    Young Man: “Put a gun against his head…”

    (Some people chuckle.)

    Young Man: “Pulled my trigger…”

    (The young woman sitting across from him joins in.)

    Young Woman: “…now he’s dead.”

    Old Man: “Mama, life had just begun…”

    Young man: “But now I’ve gone and thrown it all awaaaay…”

    All Three: “Mama, oooooooh! Didn’t mean to make you cry!”

    Teenage Girl: “If I’m not back again this time tomorrow…”

    All: “…carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters!”

    (By now, everyone in the waiting room has joined in.)

    All: “Too late, my time has come! Send shivers down my spine, body’s achin’ all the time!”

    (They finish the refrain just as the doctor calls his next patient. Needless to say, that little impromptu performance really brightened my day!)

    Victim Of A Crazy Mugging

    | QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (We have a staff rest/break room near the bathrooms. Customers accidentally walk into it all the time, so we get a very big sign that says ‘Staff Only, Please Do Not Enter’. One day, I hear several very loud noises coming from the staff break room. I go to investigate.)

    Me: “Is everything okay in here?”

    (I look around to utter chaos. Tea and coffee has been thrown all around the room. Milk has been poured on the counter, and the water jug is on the floor. Oddest of all, the fridge door is wide open, and the shelves have been neatly removed and stacked on top of the table. In the middle of all of it is sitting a very well-dressed middle aged woman. She is sipping coffee out of my personal coffee mug.)

    Me: “I.. um… excuse me, ma’am?”

    (She looks up with a lovely smile, and goes back to sipping coffee.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to… um—”

    (She stares at me for a very long time, then goes back to her coffee.)

    Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, ma’am. This is a staff only area.”

    (She smiles, and starts talking in a very fake British accent.)

    Customer: “Oh, you know. I just wanted a coffee.”

    Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to take it outside of this room. It’s for staff only.”

    Customer: “But… my coffee?”

    Me: “It’s okay, take it around the shop with you. I’ll even put it into a take-away cup for you.”

    (I offer to take back my mug. Her smile turns to a horrible scowl.)

    Customer: “MY cup!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s mine. Now, I need you to leave this area before I call security.”

    Customer: “Oh!”

    (Smiling again, she gets up and walks out of the room. She then turns around, shrieks, and hurls the cup at me, where it smashes at my feet.)

    Customer: “MY CUP! MY COFFEE!”

    (I call security. She goes on a rampage, trying to smash everything in sight. She even bites the security guard. They have to call the police, because they can’t restrain her. I guess some people really do need coffee to be human.)

    They’re Game To Play A Game To Win The Game

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Geeks Rule

    (A customer approaches me. She is holding a rather rare DS game.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, do you guys happen to have another copy of this game in stock?”

    Me: “No, sorry. It’s not too often that we come across this one. It’s quite the gem.”

    Customer #1: “D***. See, I want this game, but so does she.”

    (She motions to another customer, Customer #2, standing next to the game shelf.)

    Customer #1: “I guess we’ll have to settle this somehow.”

    Me: “Um… just don’t get violent, okay?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, we won’t!”

    (After a bit of talking, the two come over to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “Do you mind if we use your counter for a bit?”

    Me: “I guess so.”

    (The two customers stare at each other for a bit. Suddenly, they break into the most heated arm wrestling match I have ever witnessed in my life. Customer #1 barely struggles, and defeats Customer #2 very easily.)

    Customer #2: “What? How did you do that?”

    Customer #1: “I work in a kennel. Handling 100-pound dogs will give you a bit of arm strength!”

    (The defeated customer leaves the store. I ring Customer #1 out. After she leaves, I start talking to my coworker.)

    Me: “Dude. What just happened?”

    Coworker: “I have no f****** idea.”

    Purchasing Blood Wine

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (I see two guys who appear to be in their early 20s approach a self-checkout machine with a case of alcohol. One of them appears to have some tissue in his nose. The other is acting nervous. Given the exchange of money between the two, I suspect a third party purchase.)

    Me: “Good evening, gentlemen. I’ll just need to see both of your IDs before I approve the sale.”

    (The customer with the item in his nose scowls and turns his nose up at me, revealing the dangling string of a tampon.)

    Customer: *angrily* “Why do you need to see his ID? I’m buying it.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s the law and store policy that I check the IDs of everyone in the party purchasing alcohol.”

    Customer: “I guess I’m not buying this then, since he’s under 21!”

    (He storms off, leaving alcohol on counter.)

    Customer at the next machine: “What the h*** was that? Did he really just try that? And with a tampon in his nose?”


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