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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Spider Was The Decider

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (A customer has brought in an old game system and games to trade. Her games are all really old and common games in unplayable conditions She puts the system on the counter in an old shoe box with its own tangled cords.)

    Me: “Let me sure everything we need is here so I can see if we can take it and test it out.”

    (I reach into the box to grab the system, but once I lift it out of the box spiders crawl out of it and scurry up my arm.)

    Me: “Sorry, we won’t able to accept the system, but we might be able to take the controllers.”

    (I coyly replace the system in the box, only to find that there’s only more spiders on the controllers, which are now on the counter, and were to be squashed by employees throughout the day.)

    Me: “You get a few dollars for the controllers and games if you’d like to do it.”

    Customer: *appalled* “We can get much more at yard sale.”

    Me: “Go for it.”

    (She leaves, and I shudder thinking of the poor souls who will have the misfortune of purchasing a spider infested game system, with broken games, at a yard sale.)

    Someone Got The Crazy Card

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    Customer: “Check-in, please.”

    Me: “Okay. ID and credit card…”

    (The customer takes both out and starts to hand them over, but then hesitates.)

    Customer: “Okay…”

    (She hands them over and I swipe her card and check her ID, then hand them back.)

    Customer: “What did you do just then?!”

    Me: “I… uh… swiped your card.”

    Customer: “Your computer just read my information!”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: *panicking* “That means that now my credit card number is on your computer! How do I KNOW that you won’t take it and go off on a shopping spree?!”

    Me: “We don’t do that, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How do I KNOW you all won’t?! I don’t know you! I don’t know any of you all!”

    Me: “Because if we did, we’d get fired…”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “And none of us want to lose our jobs over that…”

    Customer: *looks unconvinced*

    Me: “Plus, identity theft is a crime so we’d go to jail?”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “So, none of us want to go to jail. Because… it’s full of… crazy people.”

    Customer: “…Fine. I guess I trust you!”

    Didn’t Quite Hit The Nail On The Head

    | IN, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the child-watch section of the gym, where people leave their kids while they go work out. Normally it’s not too bad, but today it is just me and one other person and we have three kids less than a year old in addition to other kids. After a while, I finally manage to get two of them to sleep and some of the older kids come over to watch them.)

    Girl: “Her nails are so little and cute. We’d need just a drop of nail polish to color them. Can we paint her nails?”

    (I am stunned so I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.)

    Me: “No modifications made to the baby without her parent present.”

    Girl: “Huh?”

    Me: “No, you can’t paint her nails.”

    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 5

    | Portland, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    Me: *to a customer that has just walked in* “Hi, there! Go ahead and sit anywhere you like!”

    Customer: “Can we sit outside?”

    Me: “That certainly qualifies!”

    Related:
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 4
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

    Be-Wear Open Questions

    | Memphis, TN, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I work once a week at the help desk answering calls for students, alumni and guests. This exchange happened after I helped an elderly student change his password. Since this is my first day of work, I have a team leader shadowing my calls.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

    Client: “Yes, ma’am… Whatcha wearing this evening?”

    Team Leader: *muffled giggling*

    Me: *bewildered* “Uh… I’m sorry, what?”

    Client: “What are you wearing? I’m serious.”

    Me: *struggling to muffle my laughter* “Standard work clothes, sir.”

    Client: “Well, you shouldn’t be leaving yourself open to questions like that, little lady. It gets ya in trouble. You have a good day.” *hangs up*

    (I took myself out of the queue and my team leader and I spent a good five minutes laughing.)


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