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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Direction Dissection

    | USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

    Guest: “I need directions.”

    Me: “Okay. To where?”

    Guest: “To [Address].”

    (The address she was giving me was on the very same street our hotel is on, and I knew the place well.)

    Me: “Oh, I know where that is. You just make a left from the hotel, and—”

    Guest: *very seriously* “Don’t tell me what to do! I’m not your slave!”

    Me: “Um… I never said you were.”

    Guest: “Then don’t tell me what to DO, then!”

    Me: “Um…okay.”

    (Silently, I use directions from the Internet, print it up, and hand it over.)

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Guest: “Thanks!”

    (I saw her a few minutes later, complaining to someone on her phone about ‘a piece of paper that’s telling her what to do.’)

    A Win Fail

    , | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (We’re currently running a promo.)

    Me: “With a meal deal you get this offer. You can enter the code online and see if you win concert tickets at Red Rocks.”

    Customer: “Whoa. So, how does this work?”

    Me: “You can go to the website written on the card and enter the code to see if you can win concert tickets.”

    Customer: “So I go to a website and enter a code?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “So… what happens if I DON’T win?”

    Me: “Then you don’t win the concert tickets.”

    Customer: “Isn’t there a consolation prize?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “What kind of contest is this? I’m not guaranteed to win concert tickets?”

    Me: “A raffle.”

    Customer: “What’s a raffle?”

    (We are inside a university, as well…)

    Getting Crabby At The Box Office

    | US | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in the box office of a theater company that performs different plays throughout the summer. Occasionally we get calls from people assuming we are a cinema.)

    Me: “Box office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah, can I place an order with you?”

    Me: “Yes, this is the box office. You can order tickets with us.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m gonna get five crab cakes, two orders of—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What was that?”

    Customer: “I want five orders of the crab cakes, and—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. This is the box office of the theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “The theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “[Town]?”

    Me: “Yes. This is the box office.”

    Customer: “The box office.”

    Me: “Yes.” *silence* “Did you want to order some tickets to a play?”

    Customer: “… Yeah. So, I want five crab cakes and two ord—”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This isn’t a restaurant. This is the box office of the theater.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any crab cakes?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. We only sell tickets to plays.”

    Customer: “Okay, sounds great, thanks.” *hangs up*

    Must Have Been Smoking A Half-Pipe

    | Denton, TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work the front in a local computer repair shop and am in charge of answering phones and scheduling service. The phone rings and I answer.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you guys have any skateboards?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir. We are actually a computer repair company.”

    Caller: “Oh…” *long pause* “So, do you guys have any skateboards?”

    Me: “… No, sir. We only sell and work on computers.”

    Caller: “Oh. Okay.” *hangs up*

    Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction, Part 2

    | Lynnwood, WA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I was getting my best friend some candy at a grocery store to cheer her up, when I am approached by a lady who is at a sample station with dog treats.)

    Customer: “Do happen to have a dog at home?”

    Me: “Actually, I don’t. We only have a bunch of reptiles.”

    Customer: “Reptiles, huh. When I was out this state, we caught large iguanas about this big—” *stretches out arms, maybe four feet* “—from the jungle and ate them.”

    Me: “Iguanas can get very large.”

    Customer: “It was delicious, but I don’t recommend eating your pets.”

    Me: “No, that would be pretty messed up.”

    (Luckily some people walked up to her table and she went to help. I wasn’t sure how to react to someone telling me they enjoy eating the pets I love.)

    Related:
    Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction

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