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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Times, They Are a’Changin’

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    Me: “Your total is $4.24.”

    Customer: *hands me a twenty*

    Me: “Here’s your change.” *hands back $15.76* “Have a wonderful day!”

    Customer: “… Didn’t I give you a five?”

    Me: “I don’t think so…”

    (Customer checks her pocket and pulls out the five she meant to give me.)

    Me: “Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?”

    A Bad Case Of Adamantium Confusion

    | Newcastle upon Tyne, England, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (My coworker goes to see a 94-year-old patient who had been confused overnight.)

    Coworker: “Good morning, Mr. [Patient]. How are you today?”

    Patient: *in a very measured voice* “Terrible, doctor. The professor saw me earlier and implicitly told me I am a wolverine. I’m afraid with this news I need to leave.”

    Coworker: “I see. You’ve been a bit poorly so should probably stay in hospital for now.”

    Patient: “Oh, but doctor, if you can guarantee I am NOT a wolverine, I’d feel ever so relieved.”

    Coworker: *poker faced* “I can guarantee you are NOT a wolverine.”

    Getting Belongings Where You Don’t Belong

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A woman approaches my register and slams a pile of clothes on the counter.)

    Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

    Customer: *giggles* “Yep. This trip was a steal!”

    Me: “Well, we all get lucky, I guess.”

    (One of the items doesn’t seem to have a price tag on it, so I ask her where she found it. She points at the back of the store. )

    Customer: “It was in that side room you guys have.”

    Me: *confused* “Side room? What are you talking about?

    Customer: “That’s where you keep all the good stuff, right? There was a really cute scarf in there, too.”

    (One of my coworkers, who is leaving for her lunch break, approaches the counter.)

    Coworker: “Have you seen my scarf?”

    Me: “What does it look like?”

    Coworker: “It’s black, with pink stripes.”

    (I hold up a scarf from the pile.)

    Me: “This one?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, where’d you find it?”

    Me: *suddenly realizing what’s going on* “Ma’am, did you go into our staff room?”

    Customer: “The side room? Yeah. That’s where I got this coat!”

    (She holds up my coworker’s coat. I don’t know how, but she managed to open a locked room, with no one noticing, and took our stuff!)

    Me: “Ma’am, these are not for sale. They’re our belongings.”

    Customer: “You’re lying! You just want these for yourself!”

    (She begins throwing clothes at me, knocking over racks, and making a mess of the store before running out and yelling about how our store is robbing their customers. She didn’t even buy anything!)

    Goes Orange With Embarrassment

    | USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

    Me: “Thank you for calling member services, This is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

    (Silence.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “I’m sorry; I was thrown off by your name…  Your name is Carrot? ”

    Me: “Um…. No, ma’am, it’s [My Name].”

    Caller: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought your parents really named you Carrot! I thought maybe they were horrible hippie people!”

    Hold Fire On That Receipt

    | Finland | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (It’s Friday afternoon and I’m in a liquor store with my dad. We both know the guy who’s working as cashier.)

    Cashier: “Do you want the receipt?”

    Dad: “Yeah, I’m going to heat the sauna today.”

    (Our sauna is heated with wood and we use trash paper to light the fire.)

    Cashier: “Okay, have a nice weekend.”

    Me: “You, too.”

    (We pack dad’s bottles, and the cashier serves another customer. We are leaving when he offers a receipt to her.)

    Customer: “No, thanks. I have an electric sauna.”

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