Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,144 thumbs up)
  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Giving Her A Little Flight

    | USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (It is 8 am on Thanksgiving morning, and I am at the airport to fly to my mom’s home in Michigan. This is my second flight with this airline. The last time, I had money on a card to pay for my luggage, but they said they only took cash. I go up to the ticket counter.)

    Me: “Hello! I have a 9 am flight to Detroit.”

    Worker: “Alright, your luggage fee comes up to $50. How would you like to pay for that?”

    (I put my cash on the counter and smile.)

    Worker: “I’m sorry, but we only take credit or debit cards. Do you want to bill this to the card you purchased your flight with?”

    Me: “But the last time, they said I needed to pay in cash. I put money on the card specifically for the ticket. All I can do is pay in cash!”

    Worker: “It’s fine. Just go. Happy Thanksgiving!”

    (I tried to give her the cash multiple times, but she couldn’t accept it. To that worker, I am so very sorry for the mix up, but because of your kindness, I made it home in time to spend Thanksgiving with my family, and I will be eternally grateful for your kindness!)

    Totally Nuts

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the produce department of a large chain supermarket. As usual, greeting customers as they come in is a pretty common experience and the response is almost always the same. However, tonight, you could say, was a change of pace.)

    Me: “Hi, sir, how are you today?”

    Guy: “It’s cold as h*** in here! Is your nut-sack shriveled up in your belly like mine is?”

    Arts And Crafts Is So Rock And (Toilet) Roll

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I run into a customer coming out of the store bathroom. She’s clutching two empty toilet paper rolls and looks angry. I’m expecting her to round on me about no toilet paper in the stalls.)

    Customer: “You work in a craft store. How can you let people just throw these away!?”

    (The customer puts them in her shopping basket and stalks off. It left me wondering what craft is so awesome that the finished product would negate the ick-factor of digging through a public toilet’s trash bags.)

    Customers Give You Crabs

    , | Rehoboth Beach, DE, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working drive-thru. The customer I get sounds drunk, but I don’t think too much of it until he gets to the window. The customer is in the rear seat of the car; the driver is sober.)

    Me: “Good evening. Your total is [total].”

    Customer: “Okay… so that’s… uh…”

    (The customer stares at the money in his wallet for a moment, before handing me a wad of bills.)

    Me: “Alright, here’s your change and your recei—”

    (I turn to hand the customer his change, to see that he now has a large brown paper bag on his lap. He looks at me, then reaches in the bag and pulls out a crab covered in Old Bay seasoning.)

    Customer: “D’you want a crab?”

    Me: “Er… no, thanks.”

    Customer: “You sure? They’re really good!”

    (The customer tries to hand me the crab anyway.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not allowed to take tips.”

    Customer: “Awww… that sucks. Well, you have a nice night.”

    Me: “Here’s your change. You have a good night, too!”

    (Later, my coworkers ask what took so long. They couldn’t believe he’d offered me crabs! Probably because we all were wondering what he was doing getting fast food when he had something better!)

    A Customer With Felineous Intent

    | GA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a waitress at an upscale seafood and steak restaurant. There is a decorative two-headed zebra cat table at the front of the restaurant. A customer walks in and screams as soon as they see the table.)

    Customer: “Oh my God!”

    (The customer grabs one of my coworkers and puts her car keys in his hand.)

    Customer: “My car is the Toyota parked up on that hill. Open my trunk and put this cat table inside!”

    Coworker: “Uh…”

    (The customer eventually sits in my section. I try to get her started on the menu, but she is completely turned around in her booth looking toward the front of the restaurant.)

    Me: “Is there something wrong?”

    Customer: “I want that cat table!”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but it’s not for sale. It belongs to the owner.”

    Customer: “Well, where is he then? I’m gonna schmooze up to him and then he’ll have to give it to me.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll let him know what’s going on.”

    (I go to the back to get her something to drink. When I go back to the front, I hear meowing. It’s the customer, and she is gesturing for the table to come.)

    Customer: “Meow, meow, meow! Come here kitty!”

    (I can see that other customers are looking.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to stop… meowing. It’s making people nervous.”

    (This goes on for half an hour. Eventually, I feel I have to talk to the manager.)

    Me: “Can you please talk to this woman? She wants your cat table. She’s meowing and bothering other customers.”

    Boss: “I’m not getting involved with this.”

    (I go back to the table.)

    Me: “Here’s your check.”

    Customer: “What about the cat table?”

    Me: “So as I said before, the table is not for sale.”

    Customer: “Are you serious? This place isn’t very customer oriented!”

    (After she leaves, I pick up the check. On the back of the receipt was a drawing of a demonic cat with sharp teeth and a note that said ‘You better give me your cat table! -The Cat Lady.’)

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