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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,199 thumbs up)
  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes up to my till. I start ringing her up)

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us?”

    Customer: “Do you sell our information?”

    Me: “No. We just use the rewards card to give you coupons every time you spend a certain amount of money with us.”

    Customer: “Oh, well. I don’t need that, if that’s all it’s for.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Related:
    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2
    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

    Looking For Some Consoling Advice

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work the graveyard shift in the electronics department. It is the night of the PlayStation 4 midnight release, and throughout the night, I have been receiving a lot of phone calls from customers asking whether there are any more PS4s in stock.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling. This is electronics. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you guys have any more PS4s in stock?”

    Me: “No, sir. We sold out of those about a half hour ago.”

    Customer: “Really? Okay. Well, do you know when the XBox One comes out?”

    Me: “I believe they come out on the 22nd.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah? So next week… Well, which one do you prefer?”

    Me: “Ha! I’m an XBox person myself, really.”

    Customer: “Yeah? That’s cool. Hey, I have one more question. It may sound kind of weird.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “Can you help me with my science homework?”

    Me: “…uh… Google, bro…”

    Gift Card For The Gifted

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (At the end of each transaction, I have to circle a survey on the receipt that the customer can enter to win a $500 gift card. Three teenage boys have come in and are buying a sweatshirt.)

    Me: Here at the bottom of your receipt, we have a little survey. If you can take a minute to fill it out for us, you can be entered in a drawing to win a $500 gift card!”

    Teenage Boy #1: “$500 to here?! I can buy so many clothes! I can buy so many pairs of yoga pants! My a** will look fantastic!”

    Interested In Another Kind Of Bun

    , | Vernon, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. My name is [Name]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hey, [My Name], I’d like a large double-double.”

    Me: “Anything else for you?”

    Customer: “Yo, do you have any hookers?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You know, hookers.”

    Me: “Yeah, no. We don’t carry those here, sorry.”

    Customer: “Aw, man! Well, whatever, I guess we’ll try [rival fast food chain right next to ours].”

    Me: “Sounds like a good plan.”

    (I almost got in trouble for saying ‘no’ to a customer and referring them to our rival, until my boss learned what they had been asking for!)

    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a gourmet chocolate shop, and the majority of our products are imported from several factories in Europe.)

    Customer: “Do you have chocolate turkeys for Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “No, Ma’am, we do not.”

    Customer: “Why the f*** not?!”

    Me: “Well, we’re a Swiss company, and they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “You’re a f***ing liar. Like h*** they don’t celebrate it. It’s a national holiday!”

    Me: “Yes, it is. It’s a national holiday, Ma’am. It’s only celebrated here, in the US. You can try [other European brand], though. I’m pretty sure I saw chocolate turkeys in their window display.”

    Customer: “Trying to make me look stupid, huh? Well fine, I’m never shopping here again! And everyone knows that turkeys are extinct in Europe, so why would [other European brand] have chocolate f****** turkeys?!”

    Me: “…and you have a lovely day, Ma’am.”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysLearning
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 2
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble

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