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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Geography

    (I work in a little bakery. It’s been a quiet evening when a customer’s car comes speeding in to a parking spot outside the front door. She gets out of her car with her cell phone in her out-stretched arm. She looks utterly confused as she enters the store.)

    Me: “Hi there!”

    Customer: “Yeah, hi.”

    (The customer spins in a slow circle and looks around.)

    Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: *looks at her phone* “Yeah, I’m looking for [address of location].”

    Me: “You found it!”

    Customer: “NO! My phone is saying this is [coffee shop]. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. It used to be over two years ago, but they closed down and we moved in.”

    Customer: “NO! My phone is saying that this is the location of the coffee shop. Where is it!?”

    Me: “They closed over two years ago—”

    Customer: “NO! Phones are not wrong. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

    Me: *looks around the bakery, than back to the customer* “Nope, this is [bakery]. Sorry to disappoint you.”

    Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m just not understanding.”

    (I have no idea how much more clearly I can let this customer know that the coffee shop closed down and she is standing in a bakery.)

    Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is [bakery]. There is another coffee shop down the road though.”

    Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll go down the street. But you’re sure there isn’t a coffee shop here?”

    Me: “One thousand percent sure. Have a wonderful evening.”

    (I watch her leave the store. She sits in her car for 10 minutes playing with her phone. I see violent movements coming from the car, so I call my coworker to the front. We watch while she violently shakes her phone and yells. I hope she finds that coffee shop and gets a decaf!)

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

    No Common Scents, Part 3

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Bizarre, Technology, Transportation

    (I work in the call center, making bookings for vehicle maintenance. I have just booked the customer in for a service.)

    Me: “Is there anything else you would like us to take a look at while your vehicle is with us?”

    Customer: “Yes, last weekend I took a load of rubbish to the dump and the car smelt funny, but the smell was gone after a couple of days. Could you get the guys to take a look?”

    Me: “So, you transported rubbish in your car and that made your car smell, but the smell has now gone, and you would like us to look into that?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…Not a problem.”

    Related:
    No Common Scents, Part 2
    No Common Scents

    Of Mama Bears And Magic Hairs

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am working as a cashier. A very tall and slender man, in his late 20s, wearing all black, with shoulder length black hair, facial piercings, and white and black face make up, and his nails painted black comes up to my till.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything? Or is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: *in a very quiet low voice* “Um… yeah. I was wondering if you can hold this for a little while. Mama bear is done shopping over at [grocery store], and I need to go get her.”

    Me: “Sure, if you just want to leave it here, I can put it under my till or you can take it to customer service.”

    Customer: “I will leave it here.”

    (The customer walks away. After about 15 minutes, he comes back to my till.)

    Customer: “Hi, mama bear wasn’t finished, so I need to know if you can hold my stuff a while longer.”

    Me: “Sure thing, that won’t be a problem.”

    (He then proceeds to reach out a touch my hair.)

    Customer: “I feel the energy of your hair. It wants you to know, it loves you.”

    Me: “…”

    (Once again he walks out the door. After another hour he comes back in with an older lady, in her 80s with a cane.)

    Customer: “See Oma, this is who I was telling you about. Do you feel that energy?”

    Old Lady: “Yes, she feels very light, like clouds.”

    Me: “Are you ready to pay?”

    Old Lady: “In a minute, dear.”

    (This is when a middle aged lady, maybe 50, walks in grabs their hands and starts leading them toward the door without purchasing their items.)

    Customer: “But mama bear, the hair!”

    Coworker: “That was odd.”

    Classic Banking Withdrawal Symptoms

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My bank offers free cookies to our customers to thank them for banking with us. Most people are polite and only take one cookie, two at the most for someone else waiting at home. One customer is notorious for going to all her local branches and taking every single cookie by dumping them in a grocery bag. Today, a coworker has just finished waiting on her while I am finishing up with a customer.)

    Me: “Is there anything else we can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes, what kind of cookies do you have?”

    Me: “We have peanut butter and chocolate chip. They are in a basket by the door on your way out; please help yourself!”

    (My customer heads over. Unfortunately, she’s right behind the other notorious customer with the grocery bag in her hand. He watches as the other customer picks up handful after handful of cookies and shoves them into her grocery bag and leaves, the basket now empty.)

    Me: *to my next customer* “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, sir. We just finished making a fresh batch. Would you like one or two?”

    Next Customer: *laughing* “No, no thank you. I guess it’s a sign that I don’t really need a cookie today!”

    The Customer Is Not Always Related

    | Natchitoches, LA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Love/Romance

    (My boyfriend and I are picking up some groceries for his apartment. We see one of his friends and he decides to stop and chat. We stand there talking for about fifteen minutes and by this time I am hungry. To signal him that I want to leave, I put my hand in his back pocket.)

    Customer: “You should be ashamed.”

    (My boyfriend and I turn to see an older woman scowling at us.)

    Boyfriend: “All she did was put her hand in my pocket so I would shut up so that we can leave.”

    Customer: “She’s your sister, and you should be ashamed!”

    Me: “He’s not my brother; he’s my boyfriend.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie! I can see the resemblance! You shouldn’t grab your brother that way! It’s disgusting!”

    Boyfriend: “Look, lady, we are not related. Go bother someone else with your crazy.”

    Customer: “I am not crazy!”

    (The customer approaches my boyfriend’s friend.)

    Customer: “They’re siblings, aren’t they!?”

    Boyfriend’s Friend: “If that’s true, it’s news to me and I’ve known [boyfriend] for quite a long time. As far as I know, he only has one sister and she is much younger.”

    Customer: “LIES! YOU’RE ALL LIARS!” *runs off*

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