Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

No Room To Listen

| NS, Canada | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month

(I work for an office supply company and we have a points system for customers, like a lot of places do. You reach so many points, you get a couple bucks off your next purchase.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] points. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’ll give you my points number” *reads it off*

Me: “Okay, thank you. I have the name coming up as [Caller]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, what can I do for you?”

Caller: “Every time I book a room with you people I always get a bad price! My coworkers always get a discount!”

Me: “Excuse me, what? D-did you need to place an order? Do you have a question about your loyalty points?”

Caller: “NO! What is the best price you can give me for a room! My coworkers always get a good price! I’m going away in a few weeks. I need a good price! You people rip me off!”

Me: “Are you referring to a hotel room? This isn’t a hotel chain, ma’am, this is [Company].”

Caller: “Aren’t you listening? No! I need a room! What is the best price you can give me?”

Me: “Ma’am… you are calling [Company]. You just told me your points number for this company. We are not a hotel. We sell office supplies.”

Caller: “No, this is the [Hotel Chain]!”

Me: “No… it isn’t.”

Caller: “It isn’t?”

Me: “No…”

Caller: “Oh…” *click*

When The Cat’s Away The Pranks Come Out To Play

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(It’s a very slow day so I decide to take one of our cats out of her cage and hold her. She’s slung herself over my shoulder when a guy walks in.)

Me: “Hello. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: *staring at the cat* “Holy s***! Is that thing real?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Nope. It’s a new animatronic model from Google. We’re testing them in stores to eventually give people an option for a pet without the mess!”

Customer: “That’s so awesome!! I have to tell my friends!”

(He ran out the store before I could tell him I was joking.)

Listen To The Irony Of The Situation

| Abilene, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work as a cashier in a grocery store that values guest service very highly. We’re expected to greet, converse with, and thank every customer. My current customer, a young woman, is talking on her cell phone.)

Me: “Hello. How are you today?”

Customer #1: *talking on phone* “… and then we went to the mall and shopped for mom’s birthday…”

(Noticing she’s on her phone, I don’t attempt to make any more conversation other than ‘paper or plastic’ and ‘sign here, please.’ She doesn’t say a word to me. I then turn to the next person in line, an older lady shopping with a friend.)

Me: “Hi! Did y’all find everything you needed today?”

Customer #2: *ignoring me, speaking to her friend* “Can you believe that girl? When I’m working at [Retailer], I won’t ring them up until they get off the phone. So rude!”

Me: “Would you like your milk in a bag, ma’am?”

Customer #2: *still speaking to friend* “I mean, is your conversation SO important that you can’t pay attention to the person in front of you?”

Me: “Your total is [amount]. Can you sign the screen, please?”

Customer #2: *signs without looking at me, still chatting* “Common courtesy is dead, I’m afraid.”

Me: *quietly bagging the groceries* “Thank you. Here is your receipt. Have a nice day.”

(They left without a word. Some people just aren’t very self-aware, I guess!)

Takes A Toll On The Soul

| USA | Bizarre, Money, Religion

(I am a phone customer service rep for a government agency that has been strongly encouraging constituents to use our website for basic governmental functions. It is my first day out of training.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. I just want to know if you charge spiritual taxes to people of certain religious beliefs?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “Spiritual taxes. Do you charge them for using your website?”

Me: “… I think that’s more a question for your religious leader of choice, but no, to the best of my knowledge we do not charge taxes on the soul for using our website.”

Caller: “Oh, wonderful!” *click*

The Tongue Has Eyes

| Peabody, MA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I present a diner our menu, which does not contain any photos.)

Customer: “How am I supposed to know what the food tastes like if there’s no pictures?”

Me: “Uh…”

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