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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Doing Laps

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (The store I work in has had a serious power outage, so a coworker and I are standing in the main aisles directing guests. As we’re standing there, an elderly customer on a personal scooter almost runs me over.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Why’s the power out?”

    Me: “We’re not entirely sure yet, but our managers are contacting the power company. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Hop on my lap and take me to the men’s department.”

    (My eyes go wide and I can barely respond. After I politely decline and provide directions, my coworker just looks at me.)

    Coworker: “Did that just happen?”

    Me: “Yes… yes it did. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first time.”

    Engage The Brain Before The Mouth

    | Boulder, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Love/Romance

    (I am 20 years old. I work in a store that sells t-shirts and novelty items to tourists. Much of my job involves folding shirts. A customer comes up and rummages through my pile of freshly folded, random shirts, unfolding five or six of them and dropping them on the floor.)

    Customer: “None of these shirts are the same, or in my size!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; these are shirts from the children’s section that I’m refolding. If you saw any you like, we have many of the same ones in adult—”

    (The customer interrupts me as she spots my engagement ring.)

    Customer: “What is that on your finger? You are too young to be married!”

    Me: “It’s an engagement ring; my boyfriend of two years just proposed to me, but we don’t plan on getting married until after we finish college.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe how you teens just throw marriage around like it’s nothing! You just get married so you can have pre-marital sex and babies out of wedlock! You should wait until you at least have a job! You should be ashamed!”

    (The customer knocks down the rest of my shirt pile and storms out. A coworker has witnessed the entire exchange.)

    Coworker: “I don’t think she thought about what she just said at all.”

    Enough To Get The Blood Pumping

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I’m working on the checkouts when a customer around her 30s approaches with a large trolley.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (She starts loading her groceries onto the register and I start scanning. She then reaches into her bag to take something out. Not paying much attention, I continue scanning. The register belt moves closer to me and soon I see that she has placed a used sanitary pad on the register.)

    Me: “Uh… ma’am? Is that from you?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “Would you mind removing it from my register?”

    Customer: “Why? Are you too lazy to throw it out yourself?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is a serious health hazard. Besides that, it isn’t in my job description to clean up after customers. I’m not touching that; please get it off my register.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe how lazy you are!”

    (The customer grabs the pad, storms over to the bin and throws it away before coming back to pay for her groceries. She leaves without a word. I close down my register, and wash my hands a dozen times.)

    Doing A Disservice To Service With A Smile

    | UK | Bizarre, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in a call center that directs calls to local benefits offices. It’s a dull job, but I try to keep positive when I greet people on the phone.)

    Me: “Good morning, [Job Center] national switchboard, [Name] speaking; how can I help?”

    Caller: “You sound very happy.”

    Me: “Well, yes, it’s a nice day today! How can I help?”

    Caller: “No one at [Job Center] is happy. You can’t be at [Job Center]! You must be a scam!”

    (The caller hangs up.)

    Me: “…what just happened?”

    The Answer Came From The Gut

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Was everything all right? Did everyone enjoy their meals?”

    Customer: “The food was excellent. My digestive system is dutifully converting it into feces even as we speak!”

    Me: “That’s… super.”

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